•  Now  Available 

SANE  SEX  LIFE  I 
SANE  SEX  LIVING 

By  H.  W.  LONG,  M.  D. 

Endorsed  by  Have  lock  Ellis 
with  an  introduction  by  Dr.  W.  F. 
ROBIE,  author  of  The  Art  oj  Lovm 

TTERE  is  more  than  a  "book  on  sex." 

*■  *  Jt  is  a  tremendous  new  force  that  is 

saving — and  salvaging — the  happiness  in 

many,  many  marriages. 

Authorized  Unabridged  Edition 

DR.    ARTHtR    FRANK    PAYNE,    Eminent 

i^iogist,   says:    "There  is  nothing  in   th« 

that    would    shock    any    one.      It    will 

invaluable    to    not    only    those    newly 

"d.  but  also  those  who  are  married  for 

many  years  and  who  have  found  difficulty  lit 

adjusting    their    married    relations    satisfac* 

tonly    to    themselves." 

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fafiel'W 


SANE  SEX  LIFE  AND 
SANE  SEX   LIVING 

SOME  THINGS  THAT  ALL  SANE  PEOPLE  OUGHT  TO 
KNOW  ABOUT  SEX  NATURE  AND  SEX  FUNCTION- 
ING; ITS  PLACE  IN  THE  ECONOMY  OF  LIFE,  ITS 
PROPER  TRAINING  AND  RIGHTEOUS  EXERCISE. 
ALSO,  A  STUDY  OF  HOW  TO  CULTIVATE  AND 
PRACTICE  THE  ART  OF  LOVE,  AND  HOW  TO  MASTER 
THE  SCIENCE  OF  PROCREATION. 

H.   W.   LONG,   M.   D. 

Captain  M.  R.  C. 


BOSTON 

RICHARD    G.    BADGER 

THE     GORHAM     PRESS 


Copyright,  1919,  bt  Richard  G.  Badger 


All  Rights  Reserved 


Made  in  the  United  States  of  America 


The  Gorham  Press,  Boston,  U.  S.  A. 


od/32S3M0 


TO 

my  fellow-members  of  the  medical  profession 

into  whose  hands  this  book  may  come,  and 

to  all  who  may  read  it  under  their 

direction,  this  volume  is  most 

sincerely  dedicated  by 

The  Author. 


NOTE  TO  THE  READER 

In  order  to  gain  a  correct  impression  op 
the  book,  it  is  essential  that  it  be  read  from 
the  beginning  to  the  end  without  any  skip- 
ping whatsoever.  once  read,  it  can  be  re- 
read, here  and  there,  as    the    reader    may 

DESIRE.  But  FOR  A  FIRST  READING,  IT  IS  THE 
EARNEST  WISH  OF  THE  AUTHOR  THAT  EVERY  WORD 
BE  READ,  FOR  IN  NO  OTHER  WAY  CAN  THE  PURPOSE 
OF  THE   BOOK  BE  REALIZED. 


INTRODUCTION 

AS  we  have  moved  down  the  ages,  now  and  then, 
from  the  religious  teacher,  the  statesman, 
the  inventor,  the  social  worker,  or  from  the  doctor, 
surgeon,  or  sexologist,  there  has  been  a  "vox 
clamatis  in  deserto."  Usually  these  voices  have 
fallen  on  unheeding  ears ;  but  again  and  again  some 
delver  in  books,  some  student  of  men,  some  in- 
spired, self-effacing,  or  altruistic  one  has  taken  up 
the  cry;  and  at  last  unthinking,  unheeding,  super- 
ficial, self-satisfied  humanity  has  turned  to  listen. 
Aristotle  by  the  sure  inductive  method  learned 
and  taught  much,  concerning  the  sex  relations  of 
men  and  women,  that  it  would  profit  us  today  to 
heed.  Balzac,  Luther,  Michelet,  Spencer,  and  later, 
at  our  very  doors,  Krafft-Ebbing,  Forel,  Bloch, 
Ellis,  Freud,  Hall,  and  scores  of  others  have  added 
their  voices.  All  these  have  seen  whither  we  were 
drifting,  and  have  made  vigorous  protests  accord- 
ing to  their  lights.  Many  of  these  protests  should 
have  been  heard,  but  were  not,  and  only  now  are 
just  beginning  to  be  heeded.  Such  pioneers  in  the 
field  of  proper,  healthful,  ethical,  religious,  sane 
daily  sex  living,  have  been  Sturgis  and  Malchow, 
who  talked  earnestly  to  an  unheeding  profession  of 
these  things,  and  now,  I  have  the  honor  to  write 
an  introductory  word  to  a  book  in  this  field,  that 
is  sane,  wise,  practical,  entirely  truthful,  and  un- 
speakably necessary. 

7 


8  Introduction 

I  can  endorse  the  teachings  in  Dr.  Long's  book 
more  fully  because  I  have,  for  nearly  a  quarter  of 
a  century,  been  holding  similar  views,  and  dispens- 
ing similar,  though  perhaps  less  explicit,  informa- 
tion. I  know  from  long  observation  that  the 
teaching  is  wholesome  and  necessary,  and  that 
the  results  are  universally  uplifting.  Such  teach- 
ings improve  health,  prolong  life,  and  promote 
virtue,  adding  to  the  happiness  and  lessening  the 
burdens  of  men,  on  the  one  hand;  on  the  other, 
reducing  their  crimes  and  vices.  A  book  like  this 
would  have  proved  invaluable  to  me  on  my  en- 
trance to  the  married  state;  but  had  I  had  it,  I 
might  not  have  been  forced  to  acquire  the  knowl- 
edge which  enables  me  now  to  state  with  all  solem- 
nity, that  I  personally  know  hundreds  of  couples 
whose  lives  were  wrecked  for  lack  of  such  knowl- 
edge, and  that  I  more  intimately  know  hundreds 
of  others  to  whom  verbal  teaching  along  the  lines 
he  has  laid  down,  has  brought  happiness,  health 
and  goodness. 

Dr.  Long  advances  no  theories;  neither  do  I. 
He  has  found  by  studying  himself  and  other 
people,  a  sane  and  salutary  way  of  sex  living,  and 
fearlessly  has  prescribed  this  to  a  limited  circle 
for  a  long  time.  I  congratulate  him  for  his  per- 
spicacity, temerity,  and  wisdom.  He  offers  no 
apology,  and  there  is  no  occasion  for  any.  He 
says,  "All  lias  been  set  down  in  love,  by  a  lover, 
for  the  sake  of  lovers  yet  to  be,  in  the  hope  of 
helping  them  on  toward  a  divine  consummation. " 


Introduction  9 

That  is,  he  has  developed  these  ideas  at  home, 
and  then  spread  them  abroad,  or,  he  has  found 
them  abroad  and  brought  them  home;  and  they 
worked. 

I  also  speak  somewhat  ex  experientia  and  have 
some  intimate  personal  knowledge  of  many  of 
these  things.  Therefore,  I  advocate  his  doctrine, 
the  more  readily,  and  maintain  that  humanity 
needs  these  ideas  as  much  today  as  when  M.  Jules 
Lemaitre  wrote  his  late  introduction  to  Michelet's 
L' Amour.  He  said:  "II  ne  parait  pas,  apres 
quarante  ans  passes,  que  les  choses  aillent  mieux,  ni 
que  le  livre  de  Michelet  ait  rien  perdu  de  son  a-pro- 
pos."  Twenty  years  more  have  elapsed  and 
things  have  not  yet  become  much  better.  Frank 
sex  talks  like  Dr.  Long's  teaching  are  as  a-propos 
today  as  was  Michelet's  book  when  it  was  written, 
or  when,  after  forty  years  had  passed  M.  Lemaitre 
wrote  his  introduction. 

Idealism  is  right,  and  we  all  approve  it;  so 
much  so,  that  many  of  us  cannot  see  that  ultra- 
idealism,  extremism  in  right,  (it  is  foolish  to  at- 
tempt to  attain  anything  better  than  the  best) 
may  be  wrong.  Undoubtedly,  entire  devotion  to 
the  material  and  physical,  is  also  wrong;  but  we 
never  must  lose  sight  of  the  palpable  fact  that, 
unless  we  have  a  proper,  stable,  natural,  well- 
regulated  physical  or  material  foundation,  we  must 
fall  short  of  all  ideals.  Proper  physical  adjust- 
ments enable  the  realization  of  realizable  ideals. 
Unrealizable   ideals    are    chimeras    pursued    into 


10  Introduction 

futurity,  while  a  world  that  should  be  human  and 
happy  waits  in  vice  and  misrey.  I  gather  that 
Dr.  Long  believes  that  reducing  this  vice  and 
misery,  and  increasing  human  happiness  and  im- 
proving health  are  suitable  works  with  which  to 
companion  a  faith  in  the  Arbiter  of  our  destinies. 

If  thus  he  develops  his  idea  of  the  integrity  of 
the  universe,  I  agree  with  him  fully.  His  book, 
since  it  delineates  the  numerous  details  of  a  normal 
sex  life,  can  be  sold,  thanks  to  our  prudish  public, 
only  to  the  profession.  I  believe  it  should  go  to 
the  larger  public  as  it  has  gone  formerly  to  his 
smaller  community. 

In  spite  of  imperfect  ideals  the  Orient  has  en- 
dured, while  we  of  the  Occident  are  fast  becoming 
decadent.  We,  by  learning  something  of  the  art 
of  love,  and  of  the  natural  life  of  married  people, 
from  the  Hindoos,  may  perpetuate  our  civiliza- 
tion. They,  by  adopting  the  best  of  our  trans- 
cendentalism, may  reach  higher  development  than 
we  yet  have  attained. 

The  time  has  come  for  a  book  like  this  to  com- 
mand the  attention  of  medical  men,  since  now  an 
awakened  public  demands  from  them,  as  the  con- 
servers  of  life  and  the  directors  of  physiological 
living,  explicit  directions  in  everything  pertaining 
to  the  physician's  calling,  not  omitting  the  inti- 
mate, intricate,  long  taboo  and  disdained  details 
of  sex  life  and  procreation. 

W.  F.  Robie,  M.  D. 


CONTENTS 

Chapter 

Introduction  by  W.  H.  Robie 7 

Foreword 13 

I.     An  Explanatory  Introduction 25 

II.     The  Argument  and  the  Information  31 

III.  The  Correct  Mental  Attitude 36 

IV.  The  Sex  Organs 40 

V.     The  Function  of  the  Sex  Organs ...  44 

VI.     The  Act  of  Coitus 69 

VII.     The  First  Union 91 

VIII.    The  Art  of  Love 107 

IX.     Coitus  Reservatus 132 

X.     Cleanliness 145 

XI.     Pregnancy 149 

XII.     Conclusion 156 


11 


FOREWORD 

To  Members  of  the  Medical  Profession  into 
Whose  Hands  This  Book  May  Come: 

The  following  pages  are  more  in  the  nature  of 
a  manuscript,  or  heart-to-heart  talk  between  those 
who  have  mutual  confidence  in  each  other,  than 
of  a  technical,  or  strictly  scientific  treatise  of  the 
subject  in  hand;  and  I  cannot  do  better,  for  all 
parties  concerned,  than  to  explain,  just  here  in 
the  beginning,  how  this  came  about,  and  why  I 
have  concluded  to  leave  the  copy  practically  as  it 
was    originally    written. 

In  common  with  nearly  all  members  of  our 
profession  who  are  engaged  in  the  general  practice 
of  medicine,  I  have  had  numbers  of  married  men 
and  women,  husbands  and  wives,  patients  and 
otherwise,  who  have  come  to  me  for  counsel  and 
advice  regarding  matters  which  pertain  to  their 
sex-life,  as  that  problem  presented  itself  to  them 
personally.  As  we  all  know,  many  of  the  most 
serious  and  complicated  cases  we  have  to  deal 
with  have  their  origins  in  these  delicate  relations 

13 


14  Foreword 

which  so  often  exist  among  wedded  people,  of  all 
classes  and  varieties. 

For  a  number  of  years  I  did  what  I  could  for 
these  patrons  of  mine,  by  way  of  confidential  talks 
and  the  like,  my  experience  in  this  regard  probably 
being  about  on  a  par  with  that  of  my  medical 
brethren  who  are  engaged  in  the  same  kind  of 
work.  It  is  needless  to  say  that  I  found,  as  you 
have  doubtless  found  under  the  same  conditions, 
many  obstacles  to  prevent  satisfactory  results,  by 
this  method  of  procedure.  My  patients  were  often 
so  reticent,  or  timid  and  shame-faced,  that  it  was 
frequently  difficult  to  get  at  the  real  facts  in  their 
cases,  and,  as  we  all  know,  many  of  these  would, 
for  these  and  other  reasons,  conceal  more  than 
they  revealed,  thereby  keeping  out  of  evidence 
the  most  vital  and  significant  items  in  their  in- 
dividual cases.  All  these  things,  of  course,  tended 
to  make  bad  matters  worse,  or  resulted  in  nothing 
that  was  really  worth  while. 

After  some  years  of  this  sort  of  experience, 
and  meditating  much  on  the  situation,  I  came  to 
the  conclusion  that  a  very  large  percentage  of  all 
this  trouble  which  I  and  my  patrons  had  to  go  up 
against,  was  almost  entirely  the  result  of  ignorance 
on  the  part  of  those  who  came  to  consult  me; 
and  because  knowledge  is  always  the  antidote  for 
not  knowing,  I  came  to  the  conclusion  that,  if  it 
were  possible  to  "put  these  people  wise"  where 
they  were  now  so  uninformed,  I  might  at  once 
save  them  from  a  deal  of  harm  and  myself  from 
much  trouble  and  annoyance. 


Foreword  15 

Further  than  this,  I  remembered  once  hearing 
a  wise  man  say  that  often  "what  cannot  be  said 
may  be  sung;"  and  I  realized  that  it  is  equally 
true  that  much  which  would  be  awkward,  or 
embarassing,  if  said  to  a  person,  face  to  face,  might 
be  got  to  them  in  writing  with  impunity.  This 
I  found  to  be  especially  true  of  my  women  patients, 
some  of  whom  might  become  suspicious  of  a  wrong 
intent  from  the  things  said  in  a  private  conversa- 
tion, when  they  would  have  no  such  fears  or 
doubts  if  they  read  the  same  words  from  a  printed 
page.  It  was  these  considerations  which  first 
suggested  to  me  the  writing  of  the  following  pages. 

Still  other  reasons  why  I  did  as  I  did  were  as 
follows:  You  see,  at  once,  if  you  stop  to  think 
about  it,  that  the  writing  out  of  the  knowledge 
I  proposed  to  impart  was  really  a  matter  of  necessi- 
ty for  me,  because  of  the  saving  of  time  which  would 
thereby  be  secured.  To  get  any  results  that  would 
be  worth  while  in  these  matters,  I  would  be  re- 
quired to  tell  about  ever  so  many  things  concerning 
which  they  were  totally  ignorant;  and  to  tell  about 
ever  so  many  things,  by  word  of  mouth,  to  each 
individual  patient,  takes  time — ever  so  much  time, 
if  the  work  is  well  done,  and  it  had  better  not  be 
done  at  all  if  it  is  not  well  done  So  I  really  was 
forced  to  write  out  what  I  wanted  to  teach  these 
patients  of  mine. 

And  let  me  say  further  that  I  was  compelled  to 
write  these  things  out  for  my  people  as  I  have 
written  them,  because,  in  all  the  range  of  litera- 


16  Foreword 

ture  on  this  vital  subject,  I  knew  of  nothing  which 
would  tell  them  just  what  it  seemed  to  me  they 
ought  to  be  told,  and  what  they  ought  to  know. 

And  so  it  was  tl  at  I  wrote  the  manuscript 
which  is  now  printed  in  the  following  pages.  I 
did  not  write  it  at  first  just  as  it  now  stands,  be- 
cause experience  showed  me,  from  time  to  time, 
where  my  first  efforts  could  be  modified  and  im- 
proved. So  what  is  here  presented  is  the  result 
of  many  practical  demonstrations  of  the  real 
working  value  of  what  the  manuscript  contains. 

My  method  of  using  the  copy  has  been  some- 
thing as  follows:  As  I  have  already  suggested, 
what  I  have  written  has  been  prepared  for  the 
sole  and  express  purpose  of  helping  husbands  and 
wives  to  live  sane  and  wholesome  sex-lives — to 
give  them  the  requisite  knowledge  for  so  doing; 
knowledge  of  themselves  and  of  each  other  as 
sexual  beings;  the  correct  ideas  regarding  such 
right  manner  of  living;  to  disabuse  their  minds  of 
wrong  sex -teaching,  or  no  teaching  at  all,  of  ignor- 
ance, or  prudery,  or  carelessness,  or  lust — in  a 
word,  to  get  to  them  the  things  that  all  sane 
married  people  ought  to  know,  and  to  help  them 
to  practice  these  things,  to  the  best  of  their  several 
abilities. 

(Perhaps  I  ought  to  say  that  there  is  not  a  line 
of  what  I  have  written  that  deals  with  the  subject 
of  venereal  diseases,  any  of  them.  This  field  is 
already  so  well  covered  by  a  literature  especially 


Foreword  17 

devoted  to  this  subject  that  it  needs  no  word  of 
mine  to  make  it  as  satisfactory  as  possible,  as  far 
as  discoveries  regarding  the  same  have  progressed. 
My  attempt  is  toward  making  marriage  more  of  a 
success  than  it  now  is,  under  existing  conditions; 
and  we  all  know  that  there  is  a  limitless  field  for 
exploration  and  exploitation  right  there.) 

Speaking  somewhat  generally,  I  have  found 
what  I  have  written  to  be  of  special  value  to  two 
classes  of  my  patrons:  First,  to  the  "newly-weds;" 
and,  second,  to  those  who  have  been  married  for 
a  longer  or  shorter  period,  and  who  "have  not  got 
on  well  together. "  A  word  or  two  regarding  each 
of  these : 

It  is  a  wise  old  saying  that  "an  ounce  of  pre- 
vention is  worth  a  pound  of  cure, "  and  in  no  other 
experience  of  life  is  this  so  true  as  in  the  ills  to 
which  married  people  are  peculiarly  subject. 
Many  a  newly  wedded  couple  have  wrecked  the 
possibilities  of  happiness  of  a  life  time  on  their 
"honey -moon  trip;"  and  it  is  a  matter  of  common 
knowledge  to  the  members  of  our  profession  that 
the  great  majority  of  brides  are  practically  raped 
on  their  entrance  into  the  married  relation.  Fur- 
ther than  this,  we  all  know  that  these  things  are 
as  they  are  chiefly  because  of  the  ignorance  of  the 
parties  concerned,  rather  than  because  they  de- 
liberately meant  to  do  wrong.  They  were  left  to 
travel,  alone  and  unguided,  over  what  was  to 
them  an  unknown  way,  one  that  was  beset  with 
pitfalls  and  precipices,  and  where  dangers  lurked 


18  Foreword 

in  every  forward  step  they  took.  It  is  to  these 
that  I  have  found  what  I  have  written  to  be  a 
great  help  at  the  time  of  their  utmost  need;  and 
the  thanks  I  have  received  from  such  parties  have 
been  beyond  the  power  of  words  to  express. 

As  to  just  when  it  is  best  to  put  this  information 
into  the  hands  of  young  married  people,  my  ex- 
perience has  varied  with  the  personality  of  the  par- 
ties concerned.  In  some  cases  I  have  put  the  copy 
into  their  hands  some  time  before  their  marriage; 
in  others,  not  till  some  time  thereafter;  but,  as  a 
rule,  I  have  got  the  best  results  by  putting  the 
manuscript  into  their  hands  just  at  the  time  of 
their  marriage,  and  in  most  of  these  cases  the 
greatest  success  has  come  from  their  reading  it 
together  during  their  honeymoon.  However,  this 
is  a  matter  on  which  I  do  not  care  to  advise,  and 
regarding  which  each  practitioner  must  act  to  the 
best  of  his  own  judgment. 

Once  more:  Because  it  is  not  safe  to  assume 
that  young  married  people  are  already  possessed 
of  the  details  of  the  essential  knowledge  which 
they  ought  to  possess,  and  because  such  details 
are  the  very  heart  of  the  whole  matter,  I  have 
made  these  details  as  simple  and  explicit  as  possi- 
ble, more  so  than  might  seem  necessary  to  the 
professional  reader.  But  my  experience  has  prov- 
en that  I  was  wise  in  this  regard,  as  these  very 
details  have  saved  the  day  in  more  than  one  case, 
as  the  parties  who  have  reported  to  me,  after 
having  read  what  I  have  written,  have  frequently 


Foretoord  18 

testified.  Sometimes  a  bride  and  groom  would 
keep  the  copy  for  a  few  days  only,  giving  it  but 
a  single  reading;  but,  as  a  rule,  they  have  been 
anxious  to  retain  it  for  some  time,  and  to  read  it 
again  and  again,  especially  some  parts  of  it,  till 
they  were  well  posted  on  all  that  it  contains.  I 
found,  too,  that  those  who  had  received  help 
from  the  reading  of  the  manuscript  were  glad  to 
tell  others  of  their  friends  of  the  benefits  they  had 
received,  and  that  thus  there  was  a  constantly 
widening  circle. 

Of  course,  not  all  young  married  people  are 
capable  of  reading  this  book  with  profit  to  them- 
selves or  anyone  else;  but  many  of  them  are,  and 
these  ought  to  have  the  privilege  of  doing  so. 
Your  own  good  sense  and  experience  will  deter- 
mine who  these  latter  are,  and  these  you  can  favor 
as  they  deserve.  It  is  because  of  this  situation 
that  this  book  can  only  be  used  professionally 
that  it  needs  the  guiding  hand  of  an  expert  physici- 
an to  insure  its  reaching  only  those  who  can  be 
benefitted  by  its  reading. 

As  to  the  other  class  of  readers,  those  who 
have  not  got  on  well  in  the  marriage  relation  (and 
we  all  know  that  the  name  of  these  is  legion)  my 
experience  in  getting  to  them  what  I  have  written 
has  been  quite  varied;  but,  on  the  whole,  the  re- 
sults have  been  good — many  times  they  have 
been  most  excellent.  Of  course,  it  is  harder  to 
correct  errors  than  to  prevent  them;  but  as  most 
of  the  errors  I  have  had  to  deal  with  among  this 


20  Foreword 

class  of  patients  have  been  made  through  ignor- 
ance rather  than  otherwise,  I  have  found  that  t he 
establishment  of  knowledge  in  the  premises  has 
generally  brought  relief  where  before  was  only 
suffering  and  woe. 

Another  way  in  which  I  have  found  the  copy 
to  be  of  the  greatest  value  with  these  cases  of 
unsatisfactory  marital  relations  is  the  fact  that, 
often,  by  the  parties  rending  the  cop}/  together  they 
have  come  to  a  mutual  understanding  by  so  doing, 
and  have  established  a  modus  rirendi  which  could 
not  have  been  attained  in  any  other  way.  When 
such  parties  see  their  doctor  singly,  either  of  them, 
a  prejudiced  view  is  very  apt  to  result,  and  they 
would  seldom,  if  ever,  conic  together  to  consult  a 
physician  regarding  their  troubles.  But  the  read- 
ing of  the  book  together  makes  a  condition  of  affairs 
which  is  very  apt  to  work  out  for  the  best  inter- 
ests of  all  parties  concerned.  Certainly,  this  is 
true,  that  in  no  case  has  the  reading  of  the  book 
made  bad  matters  worse,  and  in  many  cases,  (in- 
deed in  nearly  all  of  them)  it  has  been  of  untold 
value  and  benefit  to  the  readers. 

And  because  these  things  are  so,  because  what 
I  have  written  has  proved  its  worth  in  so  many 
cases,  I  have  finally  concluded  to  give  the  copy  a 
larger  field  in  which  it  may  be  used  by  other  mem- 
bers of  the  profession  besides  myself.  I  confide 
it  to  my  feUow-xi  n  I  en  in  the  profession  feeling 
sure  that  they  will  use  it  among  their  patients 
with  wisdom  and  discretion:  ami  my  hope  is  that 


Foreword  21 

their  so  doing  may  yield  for  them  and  theirs  the 
most  excellent  results  which  have  come  to  me  and 
mine,  on  these  lines,  in  the  years  that  have  gone 

by. 

Perhaps  I  ought  to  say  that  the  somewhat 
unique  typography  of  the  book,  the  large  percent- 
age of  italics,  and  not  a  few  capitalized  words 
that  appear  in  the  pages,  comes  from  a  duplication 
of  the  copy  I  have  used  with  my  patients.  I 
wrote  the  original  copy  in  this  way  for  the  sake 
of  giving  special  emphasis  to  special  points  for 
my  readers,  and  the  results  attained  I  believe 
were  very  largely  due  to  the  typographically 
emphatic  form  of  the  book.  Appearing  in  type 
in  this  way,  it  gives  a  sort  of  personal  touch  to 
what  is  thus  presented  to  the  eye  of  the  reader, 
and  the  tendency  of  this  is  to  establish  a  heart-to- 
heart  relation  between  the  author  and  the  reader 
which  could  not  be  attained  in  any  other  way. 

All  through  the  copy  I  have  avoided  the  use  of 
technical  words,  never  using  such  a  term  without 
explaining  its  meaning  in  plain  English  in  the 
words  that  immediately  follow  it.  I  found  this 
an  absolute  necessity  in  writing  so  that  the  lay 
reader  could  understand,  in  saying  things  that 
would  produce  results. 

I  might  say,  also,  that  the  "Introduction"  to 
the  real  subject  matter  of  the  book,  I  found  neces- 
sary to  write  as  it  is  largely  to  get  my  readers 
into  a  proper  mental  attitude  for  a  reasonable  recog- 
nition   and    understanding    of    what    follows    it. 


22  Foreword 

There  are  so  many  wrong  teachings  and  biased 
ideas  in  the  premises  that  these  had  to  be  counter- 
acted or  removed,  to  a  degree,  at  least,  before  the 
rest  of  the  copy  could  be  rightly  read.  My  ex- 
perience is,  that  the  preface,  as  it  stands,  has  been 
the  means  of  putting  the  readers  of  the  book  into 
a  right  mental  attitude  for  its  successful  study 
and  consideration.  For  the  good  of  the  cause  it 
is  written  to  serve,  and  for  help  to  those  who  need 
help  in  the  most  sacred  and  significant  affairs  of 
their  lives,  may  the  book  go  on  its  way,  if  not  re- 
joicing in  itself,  yet  causing  rejoicing  in  the  lives 
and  hearts  of  all  who  read  what  its  pages  contain. 

H.  W.  L. 


SANE  SEX  LIFE  AND 
SANE    SEX    LIVING 


SANE    SEX    LIFE    AND 
SANE    SEX    LIVING 


AN  EXPLANATORY  INTRODUCTION 

A  pious  Christian  once  said  to  me;  "I  find  it 
hard  to  reconcile  sex  with  the  purity  of  Provi- 
dence." He  never  could  understand  why  God 
arranged  for  sex  anyway.  Why  something  else 
might  not  have  been  done.  Why  children  might 
not  have  come  in  some  other  fashion. 

Look  at  the  harm  sex  has  involved.  Most  all 
the  deviltry  of  history  that  was  not  done  for  money 
was  done  for  sex.  And  even  the  deviltry  that  was 
done  and  is  done  for  money  had,  and  has  sex  back 
of  it.  Take  sex  out  of  man  and  you  have  some- 
thing worth  while.  God  must  have  been  short  of 
expedients  when  God,  in  sex,  conceived  sex.  It 
certainly  looks  as  if  the  Divine  fell  down  this  time. 
As  if  infinity  was  at  the  end  of  its  tether.  As  if 
the  adept  creator  for  once  was  caught  napping, 
or  for  once  botched  a  job. 

So  we  had  my  pious  friend.  And  we  had 
medievalism.  And  we  had  the  ascetics.  And 
heaven  knows  what  else.     Too  much  sex  some 

25 


26  Sane  Sex  Life 

places.  Too  little  sex  other  places.  Some  people 
swearing  on  and  some  swearing  off.  The  prostitute 
giving  away  that  which  was  meant  to  be  kept. 
The  virgin  keeping  that  which  was  meant  to  be 
given  away.  A  force  contending  with  a  force. 
Drawing  in  opposite  directions  when  they  should 
be  pulling  together.  Through  it  all,  motherhood 
misunderstood.  And  fatherhood  misunderstood. 
The  body  cheapened  to  the  soul.  And  the  soul 
cheapened  to  the  body.  Every  child  being  a  slap 
in  the  face  of  virtue. 

Have  you  ever  tried  to  see  what  this  came 
from  and  goes  to?  This  philosophy  of  vulgar 
denial?     This  philosophy  of  wallowing  surrender? 

The  Christian  stream  has  been  polluted.  It 
has  gone  dirty  in  the  age  of  hush.  We  are  sup- 
posed to  keep  our  mouths  shut.  We  are  not  to 
give  sex  away.  We  breed  youngsters  in  fatal 
ignorance.  They  are  always  asking  questions. 
But  we  don't  answer  their  questions.  The  church 
don't  answer  them.  Nor  the  state.  Nor  the 
schools.  Not  even  mothers  and  fathers.  Nobody 
who  could  answer  answers  them.  But  they  don't 
go  unanswered.  They  get  answered.  And  they 
get  answered  wrong  instead  of  right.  They  get 
answered,  smutched  instead  of  washed.  They 
get  answered  blasphemously  instead  of  reverently. 
They  get  answered  so  that  the  body  is  suspected 
instead  of  being  trusted. 

A  boy  who  knows  nothing  asks  a  boy  who 
knows  nothing.     A  girl  who  knows  nothing  asks 


Sane  Sex  Living  27 

a  girl  who  knows  nothing.  From  nothing  nothing 
comes.  Men  who  have  been  such  boys  know 
nothing.  Women  who  have  been  such  girls  know 
nothing.  From  nothing  nothing  comes.  They 
have  become  familiar  with  sex  circumstances. 
They  are  parents.  They  have  done  the  best  they 
knew  how.  But  they  never  learned  sex.  They 
never  realized  its  fundamentals.  They  never  went 
back  to,  or  forward  to  it.  They  were  lost  in  a 
wilderness.  They  existed  without  living.  They 
took  sex  as  they  took  whiskey.  They  breathed 
an  atmosphere  of  hush.  They  had  got  past  the 
ascetics.  But  they  had  not  got  to  be  men  and 
women.  They  didn't  refuse  sex.  But  though 
embracing  its  privileges,  they  still  seemed  to  regard 
it  as  something  not  to  be  gloried  in.  The  least 
said  about  it  the  soonest  mended.  Mothers  and 
fathers  would  say  to  children:  "You'll  know  about 
it  soon  enough."  Teachers  would  say:  "Ask 
your  questions  at  home."  Home  would  say: 
"What  ever  started  you  thinking  about  such 
things?" 

The  child  goes  about  wondering.  What's  the 
matter  with  sex  that  everybody's  afraid  to  talk 
about  it?  What's  the  matter  with  my  body  that 
I  dare  not  mention  it?  My  body  seems  very 
beautiful  to  me.  I  like  to  look  at  it.  I  like  to  feel 
it.  I  like  to  smell  it.  But  I'm  always  hurried  into 
my  clothes.  My  body  is  so  mysteriously  precious 
I  must  take  care  of  it.  But  how  am  I  to  take 
care  of  it  if  I  don't  get  acquainted  with  it? 


28  Sane  Sex  Life 

I  find  that  having  a  body  has  something  to  do 
with  being  a  father  and  a  mother.  I  want  to  be  a 
father.  I  want  to  be  a  mother.  But  how  can  I 
be  a  father  or  mother  if  some  one  who  knows 
doesn't  tell  me  what  precedes  fatherhood  and 
motherhood?  I  should  prepare  for  it.  How  can 
I  if  all  the  books  are  closed?  How  can  I  if  I  am 
blanked  every  time  I  express  my  curiosity?  Is 
there  no  one  anywhere  who'll  be  honest  with  me? 

If  I  look  at  sex  right  out  of  my  own  soul,  it 
seems  like  something  which  God  didn't  fail  with, 
but  succeeded  with.  Like  something  not  polluted, 
but  purified.  Like  something  having  everything, 
instead  of  only  an  occasional  thing,  to  do  with 
life.  But  the  world  shakes  its  head.  The  world 
is  nasty.  But  it  puts  on  airs.  The  world  has 
eaten.  But  the  world  says  it's  best  to  starve. 
Folks  will  say  they've  got  to  be  parents.  But 
they  say  they  will  regret  it.  They  say  sex  is  here. 
They  say  we're  up  against  its  mandates  or  its 
passions.  But  let's  be  as  decent  as  we  can  with 
the  indecent.  Let's  not  linger  on  its  margins. 
Let's  not  overstay  our  dissipation.  Sex  is  like 
eating.  Who  would  eat  if  he  didn't  have  to?  To 
say  you  enjoy  a  meal  is  carnal.  To  say  that  you 
derive  some  sense  of  ecstacy  from  paternal  and 
maternal  desires  is  a  confession  of  depravity.  Sex 
at  the  best  is  a  sin. 

Sex  at  the  best  is  like  stepping  down.  That 
sex  might  be  an  ascent.  Thai  sex  might  be  the 
only  means  of  growth  and  expansion.     You  never 


Sane  Sex  Living  29 

suppose  that!  You  only  assume  perdition.  You 
are  afraid  to  assume  heaven.  I  may  take  pride  in 
that  which  I  may  abstract  from  my  anatomy.  I 
must  not  allude  to  my  body  as  frankly  as  to  my 
soul.  I  must  withdraw  my  body  from  the  public 
eye.  From  discussion.  From  its  instinctive  a- 
vowals.  Our  bodies  must  be  coffined.  Treated 
as  dead  before  they  are  born.  Regarded  as  con- 
veniences. Not  as  essential  entities.  The  body 
is  only  for  a  little  while.  The  soul  is  forever. 
But  why  is  that  little  while  not  as  holy  as  forever? 
They  don't  say.  They  cavalierly  settle  the  case 
of  the  body  against  itself. 

So  it  goes.  Endless  vivid  portrayals  could  be 
made  of  the  anamalous  situation.  The  more  you 
look  at  the  mess  we've  got  sex  into  the  worse  it 
seems.  Someone's  got  to  peach.  Someone's  got  to 
tell  the  truth.  In  a  world  of  liars  who  are  hushers. 
In  a  world  of  hushers  who  are  liars.  Someone's 
got  to  tell  the  truth.  Someone's  got  to  give  sex  its 
due.  You  can't  give  spirit  its  due  until  you  give 
sex  its  due.  You  can't  accept  one  and  cast  aside 
one.     They  go  together.     They  are  inseparable. 

You  refer  to  body  and  soul  as  if  you  knew  just 
where  one  stops  and  the  other  commences.  May- 
be neither  stops  and  neither  commences.  Maybe 
they  are  not  two  things  but  two  names.  Maybe 
when  you  put  a  body  into  a  grave  you  put  a  soul 
there  too.  And  maybe  you  put  neither  there. 
It's  not  so  easy  to  say. 

I  can't  see  anything  in  the  things  you  call 


30  Sane  Sex  Life 

spiritual  more  marvelous  than  what  you  call  the 
physical  birth  of  a  baby  from  a  mother.  Maybe 
you  know  all  about  it.  I  don't.  I  know  nothing 
about  it.  To  me  it's  mysterious.  To  me  it's  the 
supreme  demonstration  of  the  spiritual. 

How  that  a  baby  comes  from  a  man  and  a 
woman.  I  want  that  kept  clean.  It  starts  clean. 
Why  do  we  corrupt  it?  You  who  disparage  it 
corrupt  it.  You  ascetics  anywhere.  You  libidi- 
nous roues  anywhere.  You  corrupt  it.  By  your 
excesses.  You  who  never  say  yes.  You  who 
never  say  no.     You  corrupt  it. 

You  parents.  You  professors.  You  prudes. 
This  is  addressed  to  you.  What  have  you  got  to 
say  about  it?  You  have  tremblingly  closed  the 
question.  I  would  cooly  open  it.  You  have 
rebuked  God  by  silence.  I  would  praise  God  by 
speech. 


II 


THE  ARGUMENT  AND    THE   INFORMATION 

NO  apology  is  offered  for  what  is  said  in  the 
following  pages,  but  a  brief  explanation  is 
virtually  necessary  to  make  clear,  from  the  outset, 
the  reasons  why  it  has  been  written. 

It  is  one  of  the  chief  characteristics  of  the 
human  race  that  the  knowledge  acquired  by  one 
generation  can  be  passed  on  to  the  generations 
that  follow;  and  that,  in  this  way,  progress  in  the 
betterment  of  life's  results  and  the  adaptation  of 
means  to  ends  can  make  a  steady  and  reliable 
advance. 

Such  a  method  of  evolution  and  growth  is  not 
possible  in  the  vegetable  or  animal  kingdom,  where 
instinct  is  the  only  means  for  the  transmission  of 
acquired  knowledge.  It  is  this  feature  that  differ- 
entiates man  from  all  other  created  beings. 

But  here  is  a  curious  fact:  In  one  realm  of 
human  experiences,  in  all  Christian  civilized 
countries,  it  has  been  considered  wrong,  even  in 
some  cases  being  counted  a  criminal  offense, 
punishable  by  fine  and  imprisonment,  for  any  one 
to  make  any  record  of,  or  transmit  to  anyone  else, 
any  knowledge  that  may  have  been  acquired  re- 
garding sex  relations  in  the  human  family. 

31 


32  Sane  Sex  Life 

To  be  sure,  there  has  been  preserved*  from 
tin  e  to  time,  a  body  of  professional  knowledge  of 
this  sort,  made  and  prepared  by  physicians,  but 
confined  strictly  to  that  class  of  people.  No  at  t  empt 
has  been  made  to  disseminate  such  knowledge 
among  those  who  most  need  it — the  common 
people.  On  the  contrary,  every  possible  effort  is 
pnt  forth  to  keep  such  knowledge  from  them. 
This  is  wholly  at  variance  with  the  practice  re- 
garding all  other  fo;  ma  of  human  knowledge,  which 
is  to  spread,  as  widely  as  possible,  all  known  data 
thai  have  so  far  been  obtained. 

There  is  not  space,  in  this  small  volume,  for 
pointing  out  the  reasons  for  this  anomalous  con- 
dition of  affairs,  but  the  chief  cause  of  its  status, 
past  and  present,  is  grounded  on  two  sour< 
The  first  of  these  is  a  brutal  selfishness  which 
has  come  over  to  modern  times  from  a  savage 
past;  the  second  I  of  pious  prudery. 

The  result  of  these  causes  has  been  to  make 
the  whole  subject  of  sex  in  the  human  family,  with 
its  functions  and  mission  in.  human  affairs,  to- 
gether with  its  proper  training,  discipline  and 
exercise— to  make  all  these  things  tabu,  something 
to  be  ashamed  of  and  ignored  as  much  as  possible, 
and  all  the  knowledge  regarding  them   that  one 

eration  has  been  permitted  to  transmit  to 
those  who  come  after,  may  be  summed  up  in  three 
word.-,  nan  cly  "Thou  shall  not." 

Now  it  ut  saying  that,  in  the  very 

nature  of  things,  all  this  is  just  as  bad  as  it  can 


Sane  Sex  Living  33 

possibly  be.  For,  of  all  phenomena  with  which 
the  human  race  has  to  do,  that  of  the  highest 
importance,  so  far  as  the  well-being  of  the  race  is 
concerned,  is  that  which  has  to  do  with  sex  in  men 
and  women.  A  large  percentage  of  all  the  physical 
ailments  in  mankind  and  womenkind  arise  from 
errors  in  sexual  life,  and  these  are  but  trifles  com- 
pared with  the  mental  and  spiritual  disasters 
which  come  upon  humanity  from  the  same  source. 
It  is  probably  true  that  more  than  one-half  of  all 
the  crimes  that  are  committed  in  the  civilized 
world  are  more  or  less  directly  connected  with  sex 
affairs,  and  there  is  no  so  common  a  cause  for 
insanity  as  sex  aberations. 

And  nearly  all  these  ills,  crimes  and  misfortunes 
arise  because  of  ignorance  in  the  matter  of  sex  in 
which  the  rank  and  file  of  the  race  are  forced  to 
live.  Few  of  these  ever  acquire  any  positive  and 
definite  knowledge  in  the  premises,  and  if  they  do 
learn  anything  for  sure,  they  keep  it  to  themselves, 
inspired  to  do  so  by  a  false  belief  regarding  the 
rightful  transmission  of  such  knowledge;  or,  by  a 
false  modesty,  or  prudery,  they  are  kept  from 
telling  to  anyone  else  what  they  have  discovered 
or  found  to  be  the  truth  in  these  matters.  And 
so  the  people  stumble  along  in  ignorance  of  these 
vital  affairs  in  life,  generation  after  generation, 
repeating  the  errors  of  their  predecessors,  and  no 
positive  progress  being  made  as  the  years  go  by. 
Because  of  this  state  of  affairs  millions  of  human 
beings  die  every  generation,  and  other  millions 


34  Sane  Sex  Life 

suffer  the  tortures  of  the  damned  while  they  live, 
when  they  should  enjoy  the  delights  of  the  elect, 
and  would  do  so  if  they  only  knew  the  actual  facts 
in  the  case,  and  would  act  in  accordance  with  the 
knowledge  that  ought  to  be  made  theirs. 

But  there  are  not  wanting  signs  of  the  times 
that  there  will  slowly  come  a  change  in  these  con- 
ditions. The  fact  is  that  the  intelligent  world  is 
beginning  to  emerge  from  a  condition  of  conformity 
to  the  say-so  of  some  one  supposed  to  speak  with 
authority,  and  to  come  into  a  realm  of  obedience 
only  to  a  law  that  has  a  scientific  basis  of  actual 
knowledge  for  its  foundation. 

For  untold  ages  the  sex  relations  of  the  human 
family  have  been  directed  and  determined  by  the 
clergy  and  by  their  teachings  and  pronunciamentos 
regarding  what  was  fit  and  right.  There  is  no 
need  of  saying  hard  things  about  such  a  fact; 
nevertheless,  it  is  true  that,  for  the  most  part, 
all  the  dicta  of  these  men  have  originated  amongst 
those  who  knew  nothing  of  the  scientific  conditions 
regarding  the  subject  on  which  they  issue  their 
mandates.  So  did  the  blind  lead  the  blind,  and 
the  ditches  of  the  past  years  are  filled  to  over- 
flowing with  the  dead  bodies  and  souls  of  men  and 
women,  who,  for  this  cause,  have  fallen  therein 

This  must  not  always  be!  It  is  neither  wise 
nor  right  that  the  essential  matters  of  human  life 
should  always  remain  a  stumbling  block  and  a 
rock  of  offense  for  the  children  of  men.  We  are 
coming  to  see  that  sex  is  no  more  unclean  and  to 


Sane  Sex  Living  35 

be  denied  a  scientific  knowledge  of,  than  any  other 
part  of  the  human  body — the  eve,  the  ear  or  what- 
soever. Furthermore,  the  rank  and  file  are  be- 
ginning to  clamor  for  a  knowledge  of  these  matters 
for  themselves.  This  is  shown  by  the  frequency 
of  articles  that  deal  with  sex  in  many  of  the  best 
newspapers  and  magazines  in  the  civilized  world, 
and  by  similar  discussions  in  the  literature,  the 
works  and  scientific  books  that  now  go  into  the 
hands  of  the  common  people.  It  also  shows  in 
the  attempts  that  are  occasionally  being  made  to 
introduce  the  subject  of  sexual  hygiene  into  our 
public  schools  and  other  educational  institutions. 
"The  world  do  move!" 

It  is  for  these  reasons — because  it  is  right  to 
transfer  to  you  and  to  those  who  come  after,  the 
sex  knowledge  that  has  been  acquired  by  the 
author,  by  reading  scientific  and  professional 
literature  upon  the  subject,  by  conference  with 
men  and  women  who  know,  and  by  personal  and 
professional  experience,  that  what  follows  is  writ- 
ten. 


Ill 

THE   CORRECT   MENTAL  ATTITUDE 

So  much  by  way  of  general  remarks  regarding 
the  subject  in  hand.  It  is  more  the  especial 
purpose  of  what  follows,  however,  to  treat  of  the 
matter  of  marriage  in  particular,  to  say  something 
definite  to  young  husbands  and  wives  that  shall  be  of 
real  benefit  to  them,  not  only  by  way  of  starting 
them  out  right  in  the  new  and  untried  way  upon 
which  they  have  entered,  but  to  help  them  to 
make  that  way  a  realm  of  perpetual  and  ever  in- 
creasing joy  to  both  parties  concerned,  through- 
out its  entire  course,  their  whole  lives  long. 

Be  it  said,  then,  first,  that  it  is  the  duty  of 
every  bride  and  groom,  before  they  engage  in 
sexual  commerce  with  each  other,  to  acquaint 
themselves  thoroughly  with  the  anatomy  and 
physiology  of  the  sex  organs  of  human  beings, 
both  male  and  female,  and  to  make  the  acquire- 
ment of  such  knowledge  as  dispassionate  and 
matter-of-fact  an  affair  as  though  they  were 
studying  the  nature,  construction  and  functions 
of  the  stomach,  or  the  digestive  processes  entire, 
or  the  nature  and  use  of  any  of  the  other  bodily 
organs.     "Clear  and  clean  am  I  within  and  with- 

M 


Sane  Sex  Living  37 

out;  clear  and  clean  is  every  scrap  and  part  of  me, 
and  no  part  shall  be  held  more  sacred  or  preferred 
above  another.  For  divine  am  I,  and  all  I  am, 
or  contain. " 

Now  the  normal  young  man  or  woman  would 
do  just  this,  would  pursue  a  study  of  sex  in  this 
way,  were  it  not  for  the  fact  that  they  have  been 
taught,  time  out  of  mind,  that  to  do  this  is  im- 
modest, not  to  say  indecent  or  positively  wicked. 
They  have  longed  to  be  possessed  of  such  knowl- 
edge, all  their  lives;  in  most  cases  more  than  any 
other  form  of  wisdom  that  it  was  possible  for  them 
to  make  their  own.  But  its  acquirement  has  been 
placed  beyond  their  possible  reach,  and  it  is  only 
by  the  most  clandestine  and  often  nasty  means 
that  they  have  attained  what  little  they  know. 
But  the  quotation  made  in  the  last  paragraph, 
sounds  the  key  note  of  what  is  right  in  this  matter, 
and  the  first  effort  made  by  the  reader  of  these 
pages  should  be  to  establish  in  himself  or  herself 
the  condition  of  mind  which  these  lines  embody. 

And  it  had  better  be  said,  right  here,  that  for 
most  young  people  this  will  be  found  to  be  no  easy 
thing  to  do.  Nor  should  the  reader  feel  ashamed 
or  chagrined,  or  at  odds  with  himself  or  herself 
if  he  or  she  finds  such  condition  of  affairs  existing 
in  his  or  her  case.  For  it  is  nothing  for  which  they 
are  to  blame.  It  is  a  misfortune  and  not  a  fault. 
It  is  only  the  result  of  inherited  and  inculcated 
(the  word  inculcated  means  kicked  in)  ideas  to 
which  all  "well  bred"  youths  have  been  subjected 


38  Sane  Sex  Life 

for  centuries;  the  idea  being  that  the  closer  they 
were  kept  in  the  realm  of  innocence,  which  is 
only  another  name  for  ignorance,  the  better  "bred" 
they  are  And  to  pry  one's  self  loose,  to  break  or 
tear  one's  self  away  from  such  a  mental  view  and 
condition  as  heredity  and  such  years  of  rigorous 
restraint  have  developed,  is  no  small  task.  In- 
deed, it  often  takes  months,  and  sometimes  years, 
wholly  to  rid  one's  self  of  these  deep  seated  and 
powerful,  wrong  views  and  prejudices. 

Remember  this;  that  to  the  pure  all  things  are 
pure.  But  do  not  make  the  mistake  of  thinking 
that  this  much  abused  sentence  means  that 
purity  means  emptiness!  It  does  no  such  thing. 
On  the  contrary,  it  means  fullness,  to  perfection. 
It  means  that  one  should  be  possessed  of  the  right 
kind  of  stuff,  and  that  the  stuff  should  be  of 
supreme  quality.  So,  in  studying  to  obtain  a 
knowledge  of  sex  organs  and  sex  functions,  in  the 
human  family,  the  reader  should  not  try  to  divest 
himself  or  herself  of  all  sex-passion  and  desire; 
but,  on  the  contrary,  to  make  these  of  a  sort  of 
which  he  or  she  can  be  proud,  rather  than  ashamed 
of,  rejoice  in,  rather  than  suffer  from. 

So,  then,  let  the  reader  of  these  lines,  first,  get 
a  correct  mental  attitude  toward  what  is  about  to 
be  said.  Banish  all  prurient  curiosity,  put  aside 
all  thought  of  shame  or  shock,  (these  two  will  be 
hardest  for  young  women  to  overcome,  because  of 
their  training  in  false  modesty  and  prudishness) 
and  endeavor  to  approach  the  subject  in  a  rever- 


Sane  Sex  Living  39 

ent,  open-eyed,  conscientious  spirit,  as  one  who 
wishes,  above  everything  else,  to  know  the  honest 
truth  in  these  most  essential  matters  that  pertain 
to  human  life.  Get  into  this  frame  of  mind,  and 
keep  in  it,  and  what  is  here  written  will  be  read 
with  both  pleasure  and  profit. 

Once  more,  for  we  must  make  haste  slowly  in 
these  delicate  affairs,  if  the  reader  should  find 
himself  or  herself  unduly  excited,  or  perhaps 
shocked,  while  reading  some  parts  of  what  is  here 
written,  so  that  the  heart  beats  too  fast,  or  the 
hand  trembles,  it  may  be  well  to  suspend  the 
reading  for  a  time,  divert  the  mind  into  other 
channels  for  a  while,  and  resume  the  reading  after 
one  has  regained  poise  and  mastery  of  one's  self. 
That  is,  "keep  your  head"  while  you  read  these 
lessons,  and  you  will  be  all  right. 


IV 

THE    SEX    ORGANS 

AND  now,  having  given  these  cautionary  direc- 
tions, the  way  is  clear  for  the  making  of  definite 
statements  and  the  giving  of  positive  instruction. 

Here,  then,  is  a  brief  description  of  the  sex 
organs  in  man  and  woman.  At  first,  only  the 
names  of  the  parts  will  be  given,  with  such  slight 
comments  and  explanations  as  are  necessary  for 
making  this  part  of  the  subject  clear.  A  detailed 
setting  forth  of  the  functions  and  proper  exercise 
of  these  organs  will  be  given  later. 

The  sex  organs  in  a  male  human  being  consist, 
broadly  speaking,  of  the  penis  and  the  testicles. 
All  these  are  located  at  the  base  of  the  abdomen, 
between  the  thighs  and  on  the  forward  part  of  the 
body.  The  penis  is  a  fleshy,  muscular  organ, 
filled  with  most  sensitive  nerves,  and  blood  vessels 
that  are  capable  of  extension  to  a  much  greater 
degree  than  any  of  their  similars  in  other  parts  of 
the  body.  In  a  quiescent,  or  unexcited  condition, 
in  the  average  man,  this  organ  is  from  three  to 
four  inches  long  and  about  an  inch  or  more  in 
diameter.  It  hangs  limp  and  pendent  in  this 
state,  retired  and  in  evidence  not  at  all.  In  its 
excited,  or  tumescent  condition  (the  word  tume- 
scent means  swelled,  and  is  the  technical  word  for 

40 


Sane  Sex  Living  41 

describing  the  erect  condition  of  the  penis)  it 
becomes  enlarged  and  rigid,  its  size  in  this  state 
being,  on  an  average,  six  or  seven  inches  long,  and 
from  an  inch-and-a-half  to  two  inches  in  diameter. 
It  is  almost  perfectly  cylindrical,  slightly  thicker 
at  the  base  than  at  its  forward  part. 

The  testicles  are  two  kidneys  shaped  glands, 
not  far  from  the  size  of  a  large  hickory  nut,  and 
are  contained  in  a  sort  of  sack,  or  pocket,  called 
the  scrotum,  which  is  made  for  their  comfortable 
and  safe  carrying.  The  scrotum  hangs  directly 
between  the  thighs,  at  the  base  of  the  penis,  and 
in  it  are  the  testicles,  suspended  by  vital  cords 
that  are  suspended  from  the  body  above.  The 
left  testicle  hangs  a  little  higher  in  the  sack  than 
the  right,  so  that,  in  case  the  thighs  are  crowded 
together,  one  testicle  will  slip  over  the  other,  and 
so  the  danger  of  crushing  them  will  be  avoided. 
This  is  one  of  the  many  ways  which  the  Maker  of 
the  human  body  has  devised  to  insure  the  proper 
preservation  of  vital  organs  from  harm,  a  fact 
which  should  inspire  all  human  beings  with  pro- 
found reverence  for  this  most  wonderful  of  all  life 
forms,  the  beautiful  human  body,  the  "temple  of 
the  Holy  Spirit." 

The  part  of  the  body  upon  which  the  sex  organs, 
male  and  female,  are  located  is  known  as  the  pubic 
region.  It  is  covered  with  hair,  which,  in  both 
sexes,  extends  well  up  the  lower  belly.  This  is 
known  as  pubic  hair,  and  in  general  corresponds 
in  quality  and  quantity  to  the  hair  upon  the  in- 


42  Sane  Sex  Life 

dividual  head,  being  coarse  or  fine,  soft  or  bristly, 
to  match  the  head  covering,  in  each  case.  This 
hair  is  usually  more  or  less  curly,  and  forms  a 
covering  an  inch  or  more  in  depth  over  the  whole 
pubic  region,  extending  back  between  the  thighs 
slightly  beyond  the  rectum.  In  occasional  cases 
this  hair  is  straight  and  silky,  and  sometimes 
grows  to  great  length,  instances  being  known,  in 
some  women,  where  it  has  extended  to  the  knees. 
A  well-grown  and  abundant  supply  of  fine  pubic 
hair  is  a  possession  highly  prized  by  women,  of 
which  they  are  justly  proud,  though  few  of  them 
would  acknowledge  the  fact,  even  to  themselves. 
None  the  less  it  is  a  fact. 

The  female  sex  organs,  speaking  generally  also, 
are  as  follows:  The  vulva,  or  outward  portion  of 
the  parts;  the  vaginal  passage;  the  uterus,  or 
womb,  and  the  ovaries.  All  but  the  first  named 
lie  within  the  body  of  the  woman.  The  vulva  is 
made  up  of  several  parts  which  will  be  named  and 
described  later.  The  vaginal  passage  is  a  tube,  or 
canal  leading  from  the  vulva  to  the  womb.  In 
length  and  diameter  it  corresponds  almost  exactly 
with  that  of  the  penis,  being  six  or  seven  inches 
in  depth,  and  capable  of  a  lateral  extension  which 
will  readily  admit  the  entrance  of  the  male  organ 
when  the  two  are  brought  together.  The  vaginal 
passage  opens  into,  and  terminates  in  the  uterine, 
or  womb  cavity. 

The  womb  is  a  pear  shaped  sack  which  is  sus- 
pended in  the  womb  cavity  by  cords  and  muscles 


Sane  Sex  Living  43 

from  above.  It  hangs,  neck  downwards,  and  is, 
in  its  unimpregnated  condition,  about  two  and  a 
half  inches  in  diameter  at  its  upper,  or  widest  part, 
tapering  to  a  thin  neck  at  its  lower  end.  It  is 
hard  and  muscular  in  its  quiescent  state,  filled 
with  delicate  and  most  sensitive  nerves  and  capaci- 
ous blood  vessels.  At  its  lower,  or  neck  end,  it 
opens  directly  into  the  vaginal  passage. 

The  ovaries  are  two  in  number,  and  are  situ- 
ated on  each  side  of,  and  above  the  womb,  in  the 
region  of  the  upper  groins.  They  are  small,  fan 
shaped  glands,  and  are  connected  with  the  uterus 
by  small  ducts  which  are  known  as  the  fallopian 
tubes. 

As  already  stated,  the  exterior  parts  of  the 
body,  in  which  the  female  sex  organs  are  located, 
are  covered  with  hair  for  their  adornment  and 
protection. 

Such  in  brief,  are  the  male  and  female  sex 
organs  in  human  beings.  A  further  description 
of  them  and  their  functions  and  proper  use  we  are 
now  ready  to  consider. 


THE  FUNCTION  OF  THE  SEX  ORGANS 

IT  hardly  need  be  stated  here,  for  it  is  a  matter 
of  common  knowledge,  that  the  primary  pur- 
pose of  sex  in  the  human  family  is  the  reproduction 
of  the  race.  In  this  respect,  considered  merely 
on  its  material,  or  animal  side,  mankind  differs 
little  from  all  other  forms  of  animate  life.  As 
Whitman  says,  we  see  "everywhere  sex,  every- 
where the  urge  of  procreation."  The  flowers  are 
possessed  of  this  quality,  and  with  them  all  veget- 
able forms.  In  the  animal  kingdom  the  same  is 
true.  Always  "male  and  female"  is  everything 
created. 

And  the  chief  facts  in  reproduction  are  prac- 
tically the  same  wherever  the  phenomena  occur. 
Here,  as  everywhere  else  in  the  world,  when  a  new 
life-form  appears,  it  is  always  the  result  of  the 
union  of  two  forces,  elements,  germs  or  whatso- 
ever. These  two  elements  differ  in  nature  and 
in  function,  and  each  is  incomplete  and  worthless 
by  itself.  It  is  only  by  the  combining  of  the  two 
that  any  new  result  is  obtained.  It  is  this  fact 
that  has  led  to  the  most  suggestive  and  beautiful 
phrase  "The  duality  of  all  unity  in  nature." 

44 


Sane  Sex  Living  45 

Many  centuries  ago  an  old  Latin  philosopher 
wrote  the  now  celebrated  phrase,  Omne  ex  ovo, 
which,  translated,  means  everything  is  from  an 
egg.  This  is  practically  true  of  all  life-forms. 
Their  beginning  is  always  from  an  ovum,  or  egg. 
In  this  respect,  the  reproduction  of  human  beings 
is  the  same  as  that  of  any  other  life-form. 

Now  in  this  process  of  producing  a  new  life- 
form,  the  female  is  always  the  source  of  the  egg, 
out  of  which  the  new  creation  is  to  come.  This 
egg,  however,  is  infertile  of  itself,  and  must  be 
given  life  to,  by  mingling  with  its  germ,  an  element 
which  only  the  male  can  produce  and  supply. 
This  element  is  technically  known  as  a  sperm,  or 
a  spermatozoa.  Its  function  is  to  fertilize  the 
dormant  germ  in  the  egg  produced  by  the  female, 
and  thus  to  start  a  new  and  independent  life-form. 
This  life-form,  thus  started,  grows  according  to  the 
laws  of  its  becoming  more  and  more,  until,  at  the 
expiration  of  a  fixed  period,  which  varies  greatly 
in  different  animals,  it  becomes  a  complete  young 
individual,  of  the  nature  and  kind  of  its  parents. 
The  fertilization  of  the  ovum  in  the  female  is 
called  conception;  its  growing  state  is  called  gesta- 
tion, and  its  birth,  on  becoming  a  separate  being, 
is  called  parturition.  In  its  growing  condition, 
and  before  its  birth,  the  new  young  life  form  is 
known  as  the  foetus. 

Now  it  is  the  fertilization  of  the  ovum  in  the 
female  (and  from  now  on,  it  is  only  of  the  male 
and  female  in  the  human  family  that  mention  will 


46  Sane  Sex  Life 

be  made)  by  the  male,  in  the  woman,  by  the  man, 
that  is  of  supreme  interest  and  importance  to  both 
the  parties  concerned  in  producing  this  result. 
How  this  is  brought  about  is  substantially  as 
follows : 

As  already  stated,  the  infertile  ovum,  or  egg, 
is  produced  by  the  woman.  Such  production 
begins  at  what  is  known  as  the  age  of  puberty, 
or  when  the  hair  begins  to  grow  upon  the  pubic 
parts  of  the  female  body.  The  time  of  the  appear- 
ance of  this  phenomenon  in  feminine  life  varies 
from  the  age  of  nine  or  ten  years  to  fifteen  or 
sixteen.  The  average,  for  most  girls,  is  fourteen 
years  of  age.  At  this  time  the  formation  of  ova, 
or  eggs,  in  the  female  body  begins,  and  it  continues, 
in  most  women,  at  regular  intervals  of  once  in 
twenty-eight  days,  except  during  pregnancy  and 
lactation,  for  a  period  of  about  thirty  years. 
During  all  this  time,  under  favorable  conditions, 
it  is  possible  for  the  ovum  produced  by  the  woman 
to  become  fertilized,  if  it  can  meet  the  sperm  of  the 
male. 

In  a  general  way,  this  meeting  of  the  infertile 
ovum  of  the  woman  with  the  sperm  of  the  man 
can  be  brought  about,  as  follows: 

The  ova  are  produced  by  the  ovaries  (the  word 
ovaries  means  egg  producers)  where  they  slowly 
develop  from  cells  which  originate  in  these  glands. 
When  they  have  reached  maturity,  or  are  ready 
for  fertilization,  they  pass  out  of  the  ovaries  and 
down  into  the  womb,  by  way  of  the  fallopian  tubes. 


Sane  Sex  Living  47 

As  already  stated,  such  passage  of  the  ova  from 
the  ovaries  into  the  womb  occurs  every  twenty- 
eight  days,  and  it  is  accomplished  by  a  more  or 
less  copious  flow  of  blood,  a  sort  of  hemorrhage, 
which  carries  the  ova  down  through  the  fallopian 
tubes,  and  deposits  them  in  the  womb.  This 
blood,  after  performing  its  mission  of  carrying 
the  ova  down  into  the  womb,  escapes  from  the 
body  through  the  vaginal  passage  and  is  cared 
for  by  the  wearing  of  a  bandage  between  the 
thighs.  This  flow  of  blood  continues  for  about 
five  days,  and  is  known  as  a  menstrual  flow;  and 
this  time  in  a  woman's  life  is  known  as  the  men- 
strual period.  It  is  so  named  because  of  the 
regularity  of  its  recurrence,  the  word  mensa  mean- 
ing a  month.  In  common  parlance,  these  periods 
are  often  spoke  of  as  the  "monthlies." 

After  the  ovum  has  reached  the  womb  it  re- 
mains there  for  a  period  of  about  ten  days,  after 
which,  if  it  is  not  fertilized  during  that  time,  it 
passes  out  of  the  womb  into  the  vaginal  passage, 
and  so  out  of  the  body.  But  if,  at  any  time  after 
it  is  ripe  for  fertilization,  that  is,  from  the  time  it 
begins  its  journey  from  the  ovaries  to  the  womb, 
and  while  it  is  in  the  womb,  the  ovum  is  met  by 
the  male  sperm,  it  is  liable  to  become  fertilized — 
conception  is  possible.  These  are  facts  of  the 
utmost  importance,  to  be  thoroughly  understood  and 
kept  well  in  mind  by  all  married  people  who  would 
live  happily  together,  as  will  be  hereafter  shown. 

So  much  regarding  the  female  part  of  the 


48  Sane  Sex  Life 

meeting  of  the  ovum  and  the  sperm.  The  male 
part  of  this  mutual  act  is  as  follows: 

The  sperm,  or  spermatazoa,  originate  in  the 
testicles.  Each  sperm  is  an  individual  entity 
and  several  thousands  of  them  are  produced  and 
in  readiness  for  use,  at  each  meeting  of  the  male 
and  female  generative  organs;  and  if  any  one  of 
the  countless  number  comes  in  contact  with  the 
unfertilized  ovum  in  the  womb,  conception  is 
liable  to  result. 

These  sperms  are  so  small  that  they  are  not 
visible  to  the  naked  eye,  but  they  are  readily 
seen  by  the  use  of  a  microscope.  In  shape  they 
much  resemble  tad-poles  in  their  earliest  stages. 

At  the  base  of  the  penis,  well  up  in  the  man's 
body,  there  is  a  large  gland  which  surrounds  the 
penis  like  a  thick  ring,  and  which  is  called  the 
prostate  gland.  It  secretes  a  mucus  fluid  which 
looks  much  like,  and  is  about  the  consistency  of 
the  white  of  an  egg.  Close  to  this  gland,  and 
almost  a  part  of  it,  is  a  sack,  or  pocket,  into 
into  which  the  mucus  secretion  from  the  prostate 
gland  is  poured,  and  where  it  is  kept,  ready  for 
use,  in  performing  its  part  of  the  germinal  act 

Now  it  is  the  business  of  this  mucus  fluid, 
which  comes  from  the  prostate  gland,  to  form  a 
"carrying  medium"  for  the  spermatozoa  which 
originate  in  the  testicles.  There  are  small  ducts 
leading  from  the  teatidai  into  the  pocket  which 
contains  the  prostate  fluid.  These  are  known 
as  the  seminal  ducts,  and  through  them  the  sper- 


Sane  Sex  Living  49 

matozoa  pass  from  the  testicles  into  the  prostate 
pocket.  Here  they  mingle  with  the  prostate' 
fluid,  in  which  they  can  move  about  freely,  and 
by  means  of  which  they  can  be  carried  wherever 
this  fluid  goes.  The  combination  of  prostate 
fluid  and  spermatozoa  is  called  "semen." 

Seen  under  a  microscope,  a  single  drop  of 
semen  reveals  a  multitude  of  spermatozoa  swim- 
ming about  in  the  prostate-carrying  medium.  It 
is  in  this  form  that  the  vitalizing  male  element 
meets  the  female  infertile  ovum.  This  mass  of 
live  and  moving  germs  is  poured  all  around  and 
about  the  region  in  which  the  ovum  lies  waiting 
to  be  fertilized,  and  every  one  of  them  seems  to  be 
"rushing  about  like  mad"  to  find  what  it  is  sent 
to  do,  namely,  to  meet  and  fertilize  the  ovum. 
The  manner  of  depositing  the  semen  where  it  can 
come  in  contact  with  the  ovum  is  as  follows : 

In  order  that  this  mingling  of  the  male  and 
female  sources  of  life  may  be  possible,  it  is  neces- 
sary that  there  be  a  union  of  the  male  and  female 
generative  organs.  For  such  meeting,  the  penis 
is  fi'led  with  blood,  all  its  blood  vessels  being  dis- 
tended to  their  utmost  capacity,  till  the  organ 
becomes  stout  and  hard,  and  several  times  its 
dormant  size,  as  has  been  already  told.  In  this  con- 
dition it  is  able  to  penetrate,  to  its  utmost  depths, 
the  vaginal  passage  of  the  female,  which  is  of  a 
nature  to  perfectly  contain  the  male  organ  in  this 
enlarged  and  rigid  condition.  Under  such  con- 
ditions, the  penis  is  inserted  into  the  widened  and 


50  Sane  Sex  Life 

distended  vaginal  passage.  Once  together,  a 
mutual  back  and  forth,  or  partly  in  and  out  move- 
ment, of  the  organs  is  begun  and  carried  on  by  the 
man  and  woman,  which  action  further  enlarges 
the  parts  and  raises  them  to  a  sti'l  higher  degree 
of  tension  and  excitement.  It  is  supposed  l>y 
some  that  this  frictional  movement  of  the  parts 
develops  an  electrical  current,  which  increases  in 
tension  as  the  act  is  continued;  and  thai  it  is  the 
mission  of  the  pubic  hair,  which  is  a  non-conductor, 
to  confine  these  currents  to  the  parts  in  contact. 

Now  there  are  two  other  glands  in  these  organs; 
one  in  the  male  and  one  in  the  female,  which  per- 
form a  most  wonderful  function  in  this  part  of  the 
sexual  act.  These  are  the  "glands  penis"  in  the 
male  and  the  "clitoris"  in  the  female.  The  first 
is  located  at  the  apex  of  the  male  organ,  and  the 
other  at  the  upper-middle  and  exterior  part  of  the 
vulva.  These  glands  are  covered  with  a  most 
delicate  cuticle,  and  are  filled  with  highly  sensitive 
nerves.  As  the  act  progresses,  these  glands  1  -e- 
come  more  and  more  sensitized,  and  nervously 
surcharged,  until,  as  a  climax,  they  finally  cause 
a  sort  of  nervous  explosion  of  the  organs  involved. 
This  climax  is  called  an  "orgasm"  in  scientific 
language.     Among   most    men   and   women   it   is 

ken  of  as  "spending." 

On  the  part  of  the  man,  this  orgasm  c; 
the  semen,  which  till  this  instant  has  remained  in 
the  prostate  pocket,  to  be  suddenly  driven  out.  of 
this  place  of  deposit,  and  thrown  in  jets,  and  with 


Sane  Sex  Living  51 

spasmodic  force,  through  the  entire  length  of  the 
penis,  and,  as  it  were,  shot  into  the  vaginal  pas- 
sage and  the  uterine  cavity,  till  the  whole  region 
is  literally  deluged  with  the  life-giving  fluid.  At 
the  same  time,  the  mouth  of  the  womb  opens  wide; 
and  into  it  pours,  or  rushes,  this  "father  stuff," 
entirely  surrounding  and  flooding  the  ovum,  if  it 
be  in  the  womb.  This  is  the  climax  of  the  sexual 
act,  which  is  called  "coitus,"  a  word  which  means, 
going  together. 

With  the  myriads  of  spermatozoa  swarming 
about  it,  if  the  vital  part  of  the  ovum  comes  in 
contact  with  some  one  of  them,  anyone  of  which, 
brought  into  such  contact,  will  fertilize  it,  con- 
ception results.  The  woman  is  then  pregnant, 
and  the  period  of  gestation  is  begun. 

This  is  a  brief  description  of  the  act  of  coitus 
and  of  the  means  by  which  pregnancy  takes  place. 
It  is,  however,  only  a  small  part  of  the  story  of  the 
sex  relations  of  husbands  and  wives;  and,  be  it 
said,  a  very  small  part  of  that,  as  will  now  be  shown. 

As  has  already  been  said,  this  use  of  the  sex 
organs,  merely  to  produce  progeny,  and  so  insure  a 
continuan  ace  of  the  race,  is  a  quality  that  mankind 
shares  with  all  the  rest  of  the  animal  kingdom. 
In  all  essentials,  so  far  as  the  material  parts  of  the 
act  are  concerned,  the  beginnings  of  the  new  life 
in  the  human  family  differ  not  a  whit  from  that 
of  any  other  mammals.  In  each  case  the  ovum 
is  produced  by  the  ovaries  of  the  female,  passes 


52  Sane  Sex  Life 

into  the  womb,  is  there  met  by  the  semen  from 
the  male,  fertilized  by  the  spermatozoa,  and  so 
the  foetus  gets  its  start.  This  is  the  universal 
means  by  which  the  beginnings  of  all  animal  re- 
productive life  takes  place. 

But  there  is  another  phase  in  the  sex  life  of 
human  beings, which  is  entirely  different  from  that 
of  all  other  animals,  and  which  must  therefore  be 
considered  beyond  all  that  needs  to  be  said  re- 
garding the  act  of  coitus  for  reproductive  purposes 
only.  This  we  are  now  ready  to  consider  and 
study. 

Now  in  all  animals,  except  human  beings,  the 
act  of  coitus  is  only  permitted  by  the  female, 
(it  would  seem  is  only  possible  for  her)  when  the 
ovum  is  present  in  the  womb  and  ready  to  be 
fertilized.  At  all  other  times,  all  female  animals, 
except  woman,  are  practically  sexless.  Their  sexual 
organs  are  dormant,  and  nothing  can  arouse  them 
to  activity.  Not  only  do  they  fail  to  show  any 
desire  for  coitus,  but  if  an  attempt  should  be  made 
to  force  it  upon  them,  they  would  resist  it  to  the 
utmost  of  their  strength. 

But  when  the  ovum  is  present  in  the  womb, 
these  same  female  animals  are  beside  themselves 
with  desire  for  coitus.  They  are  then  spoken  of 
as  "in  heat."  And  until  they  are  satisfied,  by 
meeting  the  male  and  procuring  from  him  the 
vitalizing  fluid  which  will  fertilize  their  infertile 
ovum;  or,  failing  in  this,  until  the  ovum  passes 
away  from  them,  out  of  the  womb,  they  know  no 


Sane  Sex  Living  53 

rest.  At  such  times  they  will  run  all  risks,  incur 
all  sorts  of  danger,  do  every  possible  thing  to  secure 
pregnancy.  The  thousand-and-one  ways  which 
female  animals  use  to  make  known  to  their  male 
mates  their  sexual  desire  and  needs,  when  in  heat, 
is  a  most  interesting  and  wonderful  story,  a  record 
made  up  of  facts  which  would  be  well  worth  any 
student's  knowing.  But  as  all  such  knowledge 
can  readily  be  procured  from  books  which  are 
within  the  reach  of  all,  there  is  no  need  of  noting 
the  data  here. 

But  now,  in  woman,  all  these  things  are  different! 
As  a  matter  of  fact,  the  presence  of  the  ovum  in 
the  womb  of  a  normally  made  woman  makes  little, 
and,  in  many  cases,  no  difference  whatever  as  regards 
her  status  concerning  the  act  of  coitus!  That  is, 
women  are  never  "in  heat,"  in  the  same  sense  in 
which  other  female  animals  are.  To  be  sure,  in 
some  cases,  though  they  are  rare,  some  women 
are  conscious  of  a  greater  desire  for  coitus  just 
after  the  ceasing  of  the  menstrual  flow;  that  is, 
when  the  ovum  is  in  the  womb.  But  such  cases 
are  so  infrequent  that  they  may  well  be  counted 
atavistic,  that  is,  of  the  nature  of  a  tendency  to 
return  to  a  previous  merely  animal  condition. 
For  the  most  part,  it  is  true  of  all  normal  women 
that  the  presence  of  the  ovum  in  the  womb  makes 
little  difference,  one  way  or  another,  in  regard  to 
their  desire  for,  or  aversion  to,  the  act  of  coitus. 

Now  the  fact  of  this  remarkable  difference  in 
the  sex-status  of  women  and  the  same  quality  in 


54  Sane  Sex  Life 

all  other  female  animals  leads  us  to  a  great  number 
of  interesting,  not  to  say  startling,  conclusions, 
some  of  which  are  as  follows: 

In  the  first  place,  the  phenomenon  clearly 
establishes  the  fact  that  sex  in  the  female  human 
being  differs,  pronouncedly,  from  that  of  all  other 
female  life.  For,  whereas,  among  all  females, 
except  woman,  coitus  is  impossible,  except  at  cer- 
tain times  and  seasons,  among  women  the  act  can 
not  only  be  permitted,  but  is  as  much  possible  or 
desired  at  one  time  as  any  other,  regardless  of  the 
presence  or  absence  of  the  ovum  in  the  womb. 
That  is  (and  this  point  should  be  noted  well  by 
the  reader)  there  is  a  possibility,  on  the  part  of 
female  humanity,  for  coitus,  under  conditions  that 
do  not  at  all  obtain  in  any  other  female  animal  life. 

This  is  a  conclusion  which  is  of  such  far-reach- 
ing importance  that  its  limits  are  but  dimly  recog- 
nized, even  in  the  clear  thinking  of  most  married 
people.  The  fact  of  such  difference  is  known  to 
them,  and  their  practices  in  living  conform  to  the 
conditions;  but  what  it  all  means,  they  are  entirely 
ignorant  of,  and  they  never  stop  to  think  about  it. 

And  yet,  right  here  is  the  very  center  and  core  of 
the  real  success  or  failure  of  married  life!  Around 
this  fart  are  grouped  all  the  troubles  that  come  to 
husbands  and  wives.  About  it  are  gathered  all 
the  joys  and  unspeakable  delights  of  the  happily 
married — the  only  truly  married.  It  is 
wl  icli  make  a  knowledge  of  the  real  conditions 
which  exist,  regarding  this  part  of  married  life,  of 


Sane  Sex  Living  55 

such  supreme  importance.  If  these  conditions 
could  be  rightly  understood,  and  the  actions  of 
husbands  and  wives  could  be  brought  to  conform 
to  the  laws  which  obtain  under  them,  the  divorce 
courts  would  go  out  of  business,  their  occupation, 
like  Othello's,  would  be  "gone  indeed." 

The  first  conclusion,  then,  one  that  is  forced 
upon  the  thoughtful  mind  by  the  fact  of  this 
difference  in  the  sex  possibilities  of  women  and 
other  female  animals,  is,  as  already  stated,  but 
which  is  here  repeated  for  emphasis,  that  coitus 
can  be  engaged  in  by  women  when  pregnancy  is  not 
its  purpose,  on  her  part;  and  that  this  never  occurs 
in  any  other  Jorm  of  female  lije! 

In  view  of  this  fact,  is  it  too  much  to  raise  the 
question  whether  or  not  sex  in  woman  is  designed 
to  fulfill  any  other  purpose  than  that  of  the  re- 
production of  the  race?  True  it  is,  that  the  only 
function  of  sex  in  all  other  females  is  merely  that 
of  producing  offspring — of  perpetuating  its  kind. 
Under  no  circumstances  does  it  ever  serve  any 
other  end,  fulfill  any  other  design.  There  is  no 
possibility  of  its  doing  so! 

But  can  one  help  wondering  if  it  is  not  true 
that,  with  the  existence  of  the  possibility  of  en- 
gaging in  coitus  at  will,  rather  than  at  the  bidding 
of  instinct  alone,  there  has  also  come  a  new  and 
added  function  for  the  sex-natures  that  are  capable 
of  engaging  in  such  before-unknown  experiences? 
To  a  fair-minded  person,  such  conclusion  seems 
not  only  logical,  but  irresistible !     That  is  in  view 


56  Sane  Sex  Life 

of  this  conclusion,  it  naturally  follows  that  sex  in 
the  human  family  is  positively  designed  to  fulfill  a 
function  that  is  entirely  unknown  to  all  other  forms 
of  animal  life.  And  from  this,  it  is  but  a  step  to 
the  establishment  of  the  fact  that  sex  exercise  in 
the  human  family  serves  a  purpose  other  than  that 
of  reproduction! 

Now,  this  fact  established,  a  whole  world  of 
new  issues  arises  and  demands  settlement.  Among 
these,  comes  the  supreme  question:  What  is  the 
nature  of  this  new  experience  that  has  been  conferred 
upon  human  beings,  over  and  above  what  is  vouch- 
safed to  any  other  form  of  animal  life?  What  pur- 
pose can  it  serve?  How  can  it  be  properly  exercised? 
What  is  right  and  what  is  wrong  under  these  new 
possibilities?  These  are  some  of  the  issues  that 
force  themselves  upon  all  thoughtful  people,  those 
who  wish  to  do  right  under  any  and  all  circumstances 
in  which  they  are  placed. 

Of  course,  here  as  elsewhere,  the  unthinking, 
the  happy-go-lucky  and  the  "don't-give-a-damn, " 
can  blunder  along  in  almost  any-old-way.  But 
they  can,  and  will,  reap  only  the  reward  which 
always  follows  blundering  and  ignorance.  In 
these  days  of  scientific  clear-thinking,  we  have 
come  to  understand  thai  sal  rat  ion  from  sin  comes 
by  the  way  of  positive  knowledge  and  not  at  the  hands 
of  eitlier  ignorance  or  innocence!  If  husbands  and 
wives  ever  attain  to  the  highest  conditions  of 
married  life,  it  can  only  be  after  they  know  and 
practice,  what  is  right  in  all  tlieir  sex  relations,  both 


Sane  Sex  Living  51 

for  reproductive  purposes  and  in  all  other  respects! 
Note  that  icell! 

As  things  are  now,  especially  in  all  civilized 
countries,  and  particularly  among  Christian  people, 
this  secondary  function  of  sex  in  the  human  family, 
while  blindly  recognized  as  a  fact,  is  none  the  less 
abused,  to  a  most  shameful  degree.  For  ages,  the 
whole  situation  has  been  left  in  a  condition  of  most 
deplorable,  not  to  say  damnable,  ignorance;  and 
no  honest  endeavor  has  been  made  to  find  out  and 
act  up  to  the  truth  in  the  premises.  Husbands 
and  wives  have  engaged  in  coitus  ad  libitum, 
utterly  regardless  of  whether  it  was  right  or  wrong 
for  them  to  do  so!  They  have  taken  it  for  granted 
that  marriage  conferred  on  them  the  r'ght  to  have 
sexual  intercourse  whenever  they  chose,  (especially 
when  the  man  chose,)  and  they  have  acted  accord- 
ingly. This  is  especially  true  of  men,  and  the 
practice  has  been  carried  to  such  length  that  the 
right  of  a  man  to  engage  in  coitus  with  his  wife 
has  been  established  by  law,  and  the  wife  who  refuses 
to  yield  this  "right"  to  her  husband  can  be  di- 
vorced by  him,  if  she  persists  in  such  way  of  living ! 
It  is  such  a  fact  as  this  which  caused  Mr.  Bernard 
Shaw  to  write:  "Marriage  is  the  most  licentious 
institution  in  all  the  world."  And  he  might 
rightfully  have  added  "it  is  also  the  most  brutal," 
though  it  is  an  insult  to  the  brute  to  say  it  that 
way,  for  brutes  are  never  guilty  of  coitus  under 
compidsion.  But  a  husband  can  force  his  wife  to 
submit  to  his  sexual  embraces,  and  she  has  no  legal 


58  Sane  Sex  Life 

right  to  say  him  nay!     This  doesn't  seem  quite 
right,  does  it? 

Now  there  are  several  different  ways  of  view- 
ing this  now  and  added  sexual  possibility  in  the 
human  family,  namely,  the  act  of  coitus  for  other 
than  reproductive  purposes.  The  Catholic  church 
has  always  counted  it  as  a  sin.  Popes  have  issued 
edicts  regarding  it,  and  conclaves  of  Bishops  have 
discussed  it  and  passed  resolutions  regarding  it. 
There  has  always  been  a  difference  of  opinion  upon 
the  subject  amongst  these  dignitaries  and  authori- 
ties, but  they  all  agree  in  one  respect,  namely, 
that  it  is  a  sin.  The  only  point  of  difference  has 
been  as  to  the  extent  or  enormity  of  the  sin!  By 
some  it  has  been  reckoned  as  a  "deadly  sin," 
punishable  by  eternal  hell  fire,  if  not  duly  absolved 
-before  death ;  by  others  it  has  been  held  to  be  only 
a  "venial  sin,"  one  that  must  always  be  confessed 
to  the  priest  when  coitus  is  engaged  in,  and  which 
can  be  pardoned  by  the  practice  of  due  penance. 
But,  always,  it  was  a  sin! 

The  Protestant  church  has  never  issued  edicts 
regarding  this  matter,  but,  for  the  most  part,  it 
has  tacitly  held  to  the  Catholic  teaching  in  theory, 
while  universally  practicing  the  reverse,  in  actual 
married  life.  Protestants  have  looked  upon  [1 
a  necessity,  but  have  taught  that  it  was  regrettable 
that  such  was  the  case.  They  have  held,  with 
Paul,  that,  "it  is  better  to  marry  than  to  burn." 
And  most  of  them  have  chosen  the  marriage  horn 
of  the  dilemma. 


Sane  Sex  Living  59 

Among  some  European  nations,  attempts  have 
been  made  to  make  it  impossible  for  husbands  and 
wives  to  cohabit  except  for  reproductive  purposes. 
In  one  of  these  nations,  padlocks  were  used  for 
preventing  the  act.  A  slit  was  made  through  the 
foreskin  of  the  penis,  and  through  this  slit  the 
ring  of  a  padlock  was  passed,  much  as  an  ear-ring 
is  passed  through  the  lobe  of  a  lady's  ear.  The 
padlock  was  made  so  large  that  it  could  not  be 
introduced  into  the  vaginal  passage,  and  so  coitus 
was  impossible  when  it  was  worn.  It  could  only 
be  removed  by  the  magistrate  into  whose  hands 
the  regulation  of  this  part  of  the  citizens'  life  was 
given.  Specimens  of  these  padlocks  are  still  to 
be  seen  in  European  museums. 

Now  the  terribly  immoral  thing  in  all  this  way 
of  living  has  always  been  the  fact  that  it  compelled 
people  to  continually  violate  their  consciences,  by 
pretending  to  believe  one  thing  and  constantly 
practicing  the  reverse  of  their  proclaimed  belief. 
That  is,  it  lured  them  into  living  a  continual  lie, 
and  such  can  never  be  for  the  good  of  the  soul!  It 
goes  without  saying  that  the  sooner  this  abomina- 
ble way  of  living  can  be  ended,  the  better  it  will  be 
for  all  parties  concerned — the  individuals  who  are 
the  victims  of  such  falsehood,  and  the  communi- 
ties of  which  they  form  a  part. 

From  all  this  it  follows  that  the  first  thing  every 
new  husband  and  wife  ought  to  do  is  to  settle  clearly 
in  their  own  minds  the  issue  as  to  whether  it  is  right 
or  wrong  for  them  to  engage  in  coitus  for  any  other 


60  Sane  Sex  Life 

than  procreative  purposes.  Having  settled  this 
point,  one  way  or  the  other,  then  let  them  conscien- 
tiously act  accordingly.  For  only  so  can  they  live 
righteous  lives! 

In  settling  this  point,  so  far  as  available  author- 
ities for  the  young  people  to  study  and  consider  are 
concerned,  these  are  all  against  coitus  except  for 
begetting  of  off -spring.  All  the  "purity"  writers 
and  Purity  Societies  are  ranged  together  on  the 
negative  side.  Likewise  are  all  the  books  of  "ad- 
vice to  young  wives  and  husbands,"  especially 
those  addressed  to  young  wives. 

Now  all  these  "authorities"  base  their  whole 
argument  upon  the  purely  animal  facts  in  the 
premises.  Probably  a  certain  Dr.  C.  is  more 
largely  read  for  information  on  these  matters  than 
any  other  author,  especially  among  young  women. 
He  has  written  a  large,  and  from  the  view-point 
he  takes,  a  very  plausible  volume;  and  it  is  very 
extensively  advertised,  especially  in  papers  which 
young  women  read.  The  result  is  that  it  has 
come  to  be  almost  a  standard  authority  in  these 
affairs. 

Dr.    C.'s   argument   is,    baldly,    as   follows: — 

(a)  Among  animals,  the  universal  practice  is  a 
single  act  of  coitus  for  each  begetting  of  off-spring. 

(b)  Human  beings  are  animals,  (c)  Therefore, 
human  beings  should  only  engage  in  coitus  for 
reproductive  purpOA 

To  this  syllogism  he  adds  a  corollary,  which  is, 
that,  therefore,  all  sexual  commerce  in  the  human 


Sane  Sex  Living  61 

family,  for  any  other  than  reproductive  purposes, 
is  wrong.  These  are  his  texts,  so  to  speak,  and 
through  several  hundred  pages  he  preaches,  don't, 
don't,  dont,  sermons.  The  entire  volume  is  one 
of  denial  and  prohibition.  He  proclaims  the  act, 
even  for  the  one  purpose  he  allows  to  be  right,  as 
low,  and  in  itself  degrading,  to  be  engaged  in  only 
after  "prayer  and  fasting"  and  "mortifying  the 
flesh,"  and  even  then,  in  the  most  passionless, 
and  only  done-because-it-has-to-be  manner;  as  a 
mere  matter  of  duty;  to  be  permitted  by  sufferance; 
joyless,  disgusting  in  itself;  a  something  to  be 
avoided,  even  in  thought,  other  than  that  it  is  a 
necessity  for  the  continuance  of  the  race. 

It  is  from  such  data  as  this  that  thousands  of 
"innocent"  brides  annually  make  up  their  minds 
as  to  what  is  right  or  wrong  in  the  matter  of  sexual 
intercourse. 

In  doing  this,  most  of  these  young  women  are 
perfectly  conscientious,  and  want  to  do  the  right 
thing,  and  there  are  two  items  in  the  count  that 
naturally  lead  them  to  accept  Dr.  C.'s  teachings 
as  correct.  The  first  is,  that  it  coincides  with  all 
they  have  ever  heard  about  such  matters;  the 
second,  that  the  Doctor  flavors  all  his  text  with  a 
religious  quality,  of  the  alleged  most  sacred  sort. 
He  instances  saintly  women  who  have  lived  the 
most  ascetic  lives,  and  whose  religious  status  was 
achieved  because,  and  by  means  of,  their  perfect 
chastity.  In  fact,  this  word  "chastity"  (which 
he  translates  as  entire  renunciation  of  the  whole 


62  Sane  Sex  Life 

sex  nature)  becomes  the  test  word  of  his  whole 
treatise,  and  its  practice  is  upheld  as  the  true  road 
to  all  goodness  and  virtue. 

Now,  nearly  all  well-bred  and  cultivated  young 
women  are  naturally  religious  (and  not  a  word 
should  be  said  against  their  being  so)  and  they 
are  anxious  to  time  their  lives  to  everything  that 
the  highest  religious  demands  prescribe.  It  is, 
therefore,  most  natural  that,  being  thus  taught 
by  an  authority  for  which  they  have  the  highest 
regard,  they  enter  marriage  with  the  fixed  opinion 
in  accordance  with  their  teaching.  How  could  it 
be  otherwise 

On  the  other  hand,  few  young  husbands,  indeed 
none  but  now  and  then  a  "goody-good"  (who 
usually  turns  out  to  be  the  worst  of  the  whole  lot, 
in  course  of  time),  are  willing  to  "stand  for"  any 
such  theory,  much  less  to  live  any  such  life  as  this 
theory  would  impose.  These  "don't  care  what 
the  book  says,"  and,  from  the  manner  of  their 
bringing  up,  from  all  they  have  learned  or  heard 
by  hearing  men  talk  about  married  life,  (which  is 
usually  of  the  most  vulgar  sort)  they  have  come 
to  the  conclusion  that  marriage  confers  upon  Hie 
parties  the  right  to  engage  in  sexual  commerce  at 
will;  and,  especially,  that,  the  husband  has  the 
right  to  the  body  of  his  wife  whenever  he  choa 
For,  indeed,  does  not  tl  ive  him  that  right! 

And  so  long  as  one  "keeps  inside  the  law"  what 
more  could  be  asked!  Yea,  verily!  What  more 
could  be  asked? 


Sane  Sex  Living  63 

So  it  is  that  most  brides  and  bridegrooms  go  to 
ilt cir  marriage  bed  icith  the  most  widely  diverse  views 
as  to  what  is  right  and  wrong  in  the  premises — as  to 
the  life  they  will  lead  in  their  new  estate.  The 
young  wife  is  for  "purity"  and  "chastity."  The 
young  husband,  driven  by  a  passion  which  he  has 
long  held  in  thrall,  in  the  belief  that  he  can  now 
give  the  fullest  vent  to  it,  when  he  has  got  where 
such  relief  is  possible,  is  like  an  excited  hound 
when  it  seizes  its  prey,  which  he  fully  believes  he 
has  the  right  to  deal  with  as  he  pleases!  What 
wonder  that,  in  view  of  all  these  circumstances, 
the  most  extensive  observer  of  marriage-bed 
phenomena  should  write:  "As  a  matter  of  fact,  nine 
young  husbands  in  ten  'practically  rape  their  brides 
at  their  first  sexual  meeting. "  Could  anything  be 
more  horrible,  or  criminally  wicked?  And  it  is  all 
so  needless!  It  is  all  the  result  of  ignorance,  of 
"innocence,"  and  the  worst  of  false  teaching. 
The  pity  of  it! 

True,  these  unfortunate  conditions  are  often 
modified  by  "mother  nature,"  who  inspires  the 
bride  with  curiosity,  which,  in  a  measure,  controls 
her  in  spite  of  her  false  teachings,  and  with  passion, 
which,  to  a  degree,  will  assert  itself  over  and  above 
all  false  modesty,  her  religious  scruples  and  her 
fear  of  pregnancy;  and  so  she  may  come  through 
the  ordeal  of  introduction  to  the  act  of  coitus  in  a 
fairly  sane  condition  of  mind,  even  though  she 
may  have  practically  been  raped!  But,  too  often, 
the  result  of  such  first  contact  is  a  shock  to  the 


64  Sane  Sex  Life 

bride  from  which  she  may  not  recover  during  all  the 
subsequent  years  of  married  life!  And  "here  is 
where  the  trouble  lies,"  for  untold  thousands  of 
married  men  and  women,  all  over  the  civilized 
world,  today.  And  it  might  all  be  so  different! 
It  ought,  in  every  case,  to  be  all  so  different!  But 
if  it  ever  does  become  different,  knowledge  has  got 
to  take  the  place  of  "innocence"  on  the  part  of  the 
bride,  and  of  ignorance  on  the  part  of  the  bride- 
groom, both  of  whom  must  be  taught  to  "Know 
what  they  are  about"  before  they  engage  in  the 
sexual  act,  and  be  able  to  meet  each  other  sanely, 
righteously,  lovingly,  because  they  both  desire  what 
each  has  to  give  to  the  other;  in  a  way  in  which 
neither  claims  any  rights,  or  makes  any  demands 
of  the  other — in  a  word,  in  perfect  concord  of  agree- 
ment and  action,  of  which  mutual  love  is  the 
inspirer,  and  definite  knowledge  the  directive  agent. 
Such  a  first  meeting  of  bride  and  bridegroom 
will  be  no  raping  affair.  There  will  be  no  shock 
in  it,  no  dread,  no  shame  or  thought  of  shame; 
but  as  perfectly  as  two  drops  of  water  flow  to- 
gether and  become  one,  the  bodies  and  souls  of 
the  parties  to  the  act  will  mingle  in  a  unity  the 
most  perfect  and  blissful  that  can  ever  be  experi- 
enced by  human  beings  in  this  world.  This  is  no 
dream!  It  is  a  most  blessed  reality,  which  all 
normally  made  husbands  and  wives  can  attain 
to,  if  only  they  are  properly  taught  and  educated, 
if  only  they  will  learn  how  to  reach  such  blissful 
condition. 


Sane  Sex  Living  65 

However,  such  greatly  desired  status  is  not  to 
be  had  for  the  asking  merely.  Instinct  can  never 
bring  it  about  "innocence"  will  never  yield  such  a 
result;  and  force,  or  the  declaration  of  a  "right" 
in  the  premises  will  forever  banish  it  to  the  realm 
of  the  never-to-be-realized.  It  can  only  come  as 
a  result  of  clear-headed  thinking,  scientific  investi- 
gation, honest  study,  wise  and  righteous  action 
under  the  given  conditions;  and,  above  all,  a  love, 
each  for  the  other,  that  knows  no  bounds.  All  these 
things  must  obtain,  on  the  part  of  both  parties  con- 
cerned, or  the  desired  results  can  never  be  attained. 

Having  said  which,  here  shall  follow  some 
suggestions  as  to  how  such  estate  may  be  reached 
by  the  readers  of  these  pages. 

But  first,  let  us  finish  Dr.  C,  and  all  of  his 
tribe — banish  them  from  all  our  reckoning  in  these 
matters,  forever. 

As  already  shown,  this  argument  has  not  a  leg 
to  stand  on.  These  writers  treat  the  whole  situa- 
tion as  though  men  and  women  were  mere  animals! 
Men  and  women  are  far  more  than  mere  animals, 
and  God  hath  made  them  so!  And  for  these  reasons 
we  will  have  respect  for  men  and  women  as  God 
has  made  them,  rather  than  as  Dr.  C.  and  the 
"purity  leagues"  say  God  should  have  made  them! 

As  a  matter  of  fact,  the  secondary  function  of 
sex  in  the  human  family  is  something  far  above 
mere  animality;  it  is  something  that  mere  animals 
know  nothing  about,  that  they  can  never  experi- 
ence, or  in  any  way  attain  to,  and  these  fundamen- 


66         •  Sane  Sex  Life 

tal  differences  in  the  premises  remove  the  whole 
issue  from  the  realm  of  comparison  with  any  forms 
or  functions  of  mere  animal  life.  As  well  reason 
that  animals  never  eat  cooked  food,  and  so  men 
ought  never  to  eat  cooked  food  (and  there  are 
some  people  who  do  so  reason,  strange  to  say)  or 
that  animals  do  not  wear  clothes,  and  so  men 
ought  not  to  wear  clothes — as  well  make  these, 
or  a  score  more  of  comparisons,  between  the  human 
race  and  mere  animals,  as  to  try  to  compare  them 
in  the  item  of  their  sex  functions. 

In  only  the  single  fact  that,  on  the  physical 
plane  merely,  coitus  for  the  purpose  of  procreation 
is  common  to  all  animal  life,  mankind  included, 
is  there  a  point  of  comparison  between  humanity 
and  the  brute  creation.  Beyond  that  point  there  is 
nothing  comparable  between  the  two!  As  well  say 
that  because  beasts  can  hear,  therefore  they  can 
comprehend  and  enjoy  a  Beethoven  Sonata,  or 
because  they  have  eyes  they  can  delight  in  a 
picture  by  Corot! 

This  is  only  another  way  of  saying  that  sex 
has  functions  and  uses  in  the  human  family  that 
are  entirely  apart  from  the  possibilities  of  all  other 
anima  life — functions  as  much  above  mere  animal- 
ity  as  music  is  above  mere  physical  hearing,  as 
painting  above  mere  physical  sight! 

These  facts  forever  upset  and  overthrow  all 
the  theories  of  Dr.  C.  and  Co.,  they  entirely  elimi- 
nate the  whole  bunch  from  any  part  or  lot  in  the 
issue  on  which  they  have  essayed  to  speak  with 


Sane  Sex  Living  6T 

such  authority,  but  whose  main  point,  whese 
essential  elements  they  have  entirely  misunder- 
stood, and  hence  have  treated  in  a  way  that  is 
wholly  at  variance  with  the  truth  in  the  premises,, 
and  it  is  the  truth  that  we  are  looking  for. 

Once  more  (for  it  is  well  to  go  to  the  bottom  of 
this  matter  while  we  are  about  it)  the  honest  truth 
is,  that  it  is  the  universal  practice  of  the  human  race 
for  men  and  women  to  cohabit  for  other  purposes 
than  reproduction,  and  it  has  always  been  so,  since 
men  and  women  were  men  and  women!  It  is 
true  among  the  most  savage  and  barbarous  tribes 
of  the  earth,  and  it  is  more  emphatically  true  of 
the  highly  civilized  people  in  all  lands  and  climes. 
And  is  it  reasonable  to  suppose  that  such  a  uni- 
versal phenomenon  should  not  have  been  intended 
to  be  as  it  is!  As  well  say  that  appetite  for  food 
is  a  mistake,  one  that  ought  to  be  eliminated ! 

Again,  the  experiences  of  men  and  women,  all 
over  the  world,  prove  that,  where  this  act  is  en- 
gaged in  properly,  according  to  the  laws  that  ob- 
tain in  the  premises,  it  conduces  to  the  highest 
physical,  mental,  and  spiritual  tvell-being  of  the 
parties  concerned.  Indeed,  it  is  beyond  doubt 
true  that  the  men  and  women  who  have  never 
known  this  most  perfect  of  all  human  experiences, 
have  never  reached  the  summit  of  human  attain- 
ment, have  never  arrived  at  the  perfection  of 
manhood  and  womanhood.  Length  of  life,  health 
of  the  highest  sort,  and  happiness,  the  most  delect- 
able— all  come,  these  and  more,  to  men  and  women 


08  Sane  Sex  Life 

by  this  route,  if  it  is  rightly  traveled.     Hell  and 
damnation  result  if  that  road  is  wrongly  trod ! 

And  that's  what  makes  the  manner  of  travel- 
ing it  so  important. 


VI 

THE  ACT   OF  COITUS 

STRICTLY  speaking,  the  act  of  coitus  should 
be  considered  as  composed  of  four  parts,  or 
acts,  of  one  common  play,  or  drama.  Not  that 
there  is  a  sharp  line  of  demarcation  between  each 
act  or  part,  for  the  four  really  blend  into  one  com- 
posite whole,  when  taken  together,  serriatim;  but 
there  are  four  phases  of  the  act  which  may  well  be 
studied  separately,  in  making  a  detailed  review  of 
a  sexual  meeting  of  a  man  and  a  woman. 

These  four  parts  are :  first,  the  preparation  for 
the  act;  second,  the  union  of  the  organs;  third,  the 
motion  of  the  organs ;  fourth,  the  orgasm. 

In  what  immediately  follows,  these  four  stages 
of  the  act  of  coitus  will  be  studied  and  traced  in 
detail,  with  the  utmost  care,  in  the  hope  that  such 
pursuit  may  result  in  the  best  possible  good  to  the 
student. 

Regarding  the  first  part  of  the  act,  let  it  be 
said  that  here,  above  all  other  situations  in  the 
world  "haste  makes  waste."  Put  that  down  as  the 
most  fundamental  fact  in  this  ivhole  affair!  Right 
here  is  where  ninety-nine  one-hundredths  of  all 
the  troubles  of  married  life  begin!  And  the  fault, 
right  here,  is  usually  (though  not  always)  with  the 

69 


70  Sane  Sex  Life 

husband!  But  he  doesn't  mean  to  be  bad.  Not 
once  in  a  thousand  times  does  he  deliberately  pur- 
pose to  do  wrong.  He  is  simply  the  victim  of 
undirected  and  ungoverned  passion,  and  of  an 
ignorcmce  which  results  in  stupid  blundering,  or 
carelessness,  or  thoughtlessness.  What  such  a 
husband  practically  does  is  to  rush  blindly  and 
furiously  along  a  way  he  knows  nothing  of,  but 
which  he  has  been  led  to  think  lie  has  a  right  to 
travel  when  and  how  he  will!  The  ordinary  figure 
of  a  "bull  in  a  china  shop"  can  but  faintly  describe 
the  smashing  and  grinding  to  powder  of  the  most 
delicate  situation  that  can  occur  in  all  human 
experiences,  that  result  from  such  action  as  this. 
Ideals  that  have  touched  heaven  are  tumbled 
from  their  lofty  places  and  ruthlessly  crushed  to 
atoms;  hopes  that  were  beyond  the  power  of  words 
to  express  go  out  in  despair;  dreams  become  a 
hideous  nightmare;  and  love,  which  was  as  pure 
as  crystal  waters,  is  muddied,  befouled,  and  made 
into  a  cesspool!  And  all  this  because  of  ignorance 
or  careless  hurrying,  of  making  haste  where  the 
utmost  of  time,  caution  and  intelligent  care  should 
have  obtained! 

As  has  already  been  explained,  when  the  act 
of  coitus  is  to  be  engaged  in,  the  sex  organs  of  both 
the  man  and  the  woman  undergo  great  chanf 
Blood  rushes  to  all  these  parts,  in  copious  quanti- 
ties, tiil  they  become  gorged.  The  result  is  thai 
the  penis  is  enlarged  to  severs]  times  its  dormant 
size,  and  the  vulva  and  vagina  should,  and  will, 


Sane  Sex  Living  71 

under  right  conditions,  undergo  similar  changes 
and  transformation. 

But  there  is  usually  a  great  difference  in  the 
length  of  time  it  takes  for  these  changes  to  take  place 
in  men  and  women.  On  the  part  of  the  man,  as 
soon  as  his  passion  is  aroused  to  any  considerable 
extent,  the  penis  at  once  makes  itself  ready  for 
action.  It  "tumesces, "  or  swells  itself  hard,  al- 
most instantly;  and,  so  iar  as  its  mere  physical 
stoutness  is  concerned,  is  as  ready  to  enter  the 
vagina  then  as  ever,  even  if  it  has  to  force  itself  in. 

On  the  other  hand,  the  tumescence  of  the  parts 
n  women  is  usually,  (especially  as  girls  are  reared) 
not  infrequently,  a  matter  of  considerable  time, 
not  infrequently  several  minutes,  and  now  and 
then,  of  half-an-hour  or  more!  This  is  not  always 
so,  for  in  some  very  passionate  women  they  are 
ready  for  action  almost  instantly.  Indeed,  there 
are  some  women  whose  sex  organs  tumesce  if  they 
(the  women)  even  touch  a  man — any  man — and 
occasionally  a  case  occurs  where  a  woman  will 
experience  an  orgasm  if  her  clothing  brushes 
against  a  man!  Such  cases,  are,  of  course,  abnor- 
mal. But,  for  the  most  part,  it  is  true  that  women 
are  much  slower  in  making  ready  for  the  sexual 
act  than  men  are. 

Again,  as  the  organs  become  ready  for  the  act, 
nature  has  provided  a  most  wonderful  means  for 
bringing  about  their  easy  and  happy  union.  Both 
the  male  and  female  organs  secrete  and  emit,  or 
pour  out,  a  sort  of  lubricating  fluid  which  covers 


72  Sane  Sex  Life 

and  sometimes  almost  floods  the  parts.  This  is 
a  clear  and  limpid  substance,  that  looks  much 
like  the  white  of  an  egg,  and  is  much  like  the 
saliva  that  is  secreted  in  the  mouth,  only  it  is  a 
thicker  substance.  Chemically,  it  is  almost  identi- 
cal with  saliva.  That  generated  by  the  man  is 
called  "prostatic  flow;"  that  produced  by  the 
woman  "pre-coital  secretion." 

Now,  if  time  is  given  for  this  fluid  to  be  secreted 
and  exuded,  all  the  parts  become  covered  or 
saturated  with  it,  and  they  are  admirably  equipped 
for  easy  union.  The  glans  penis  is  then  covered 
with  the  slippery  fluid,  and  the  vulva  and  all  the 
walls  of  the  vagina  are  laved  with  the  substance. 
At  the  same  time,  the  vaginal  walls  have  widened 
and  grown  soft,  and  all  the  parts  of  the  vulva 
(which  are  yet  to  be  named  and  described  in  de- 
tail) are  in  like  condition.  The  result  is  that, 
though  the  penis  be  what  might  at  first  seem  of 
such  size  as  to  make  its  entrace  into  the  vagina 
impossible,  as  a  matter  of  fact,  such  entrance  is 
perfectly  ea.sy,  when  the  parts  are  fully  ready  to 
be  joined.     But  not  before,  or  other  wise! 

So  here  is  where  the  trouble  comes.  If  the 
husband  is  in  basic,  if  he  does  not  wait  for  the 
wife  to  become  ready  to  meet  him;  if  he  forces  his 
large,  hard  penis  into  the  vagina  l>efore  either  are 
fully  ready  for  such  union — when  there  is  no 
prostatic  fluid  on  its  dans,  and  the  vagina  is 
shrunken  and  its  walls  are  dry-  if  coitus  is  en- 
gaged in  in  this  way,  it  is  perfectly  easy  to  see  that 


Sane  Sex  Living  73 

only  disaster  can  result!  The  woman  is  hurt, 
sometimes  most  cruelly,  and  the  man  in  reality 
gets  only  a  beastly  gratification  from  the  act. 
Of  all  bad  things  in  all  the  world,  such  manner  of 
coition  is  the  worst! 

And  so,  in  this  first  part  of  the  act,  the  one 
foremost  thought  to  remember  and  observe  is, 
take  plenty  of  time! 

There  is  another  reason  why,  on  the  part  of 
woman,  this  time  should  be  extended,  especially 
when  she  is  a  bride  and  inexperienced  in  these 
matters,  and  that  is,  that  her  "  innocence, "  and 
all  her  education,  make  her  feel  that  she  is  doing 
wrong,  or  at  least  permitting  a  wrong  thing  to  be 
done,  and  this  holds  back  the  proper  growth  of 
her  passion,  hinders  the  tumescence  of  her  sex 
organs,  delays  the  flow  of  the  precoital  secretion, 
and  so  keeps  her  from  becoming  properly  pre- 
pared for  her  share  of  the  mutual  act. 

Again,  her  fear  of  pregnancy  may  still  further 
retard  her  coming  into  a  proper  condition.  In- 
deed, this  last  is  the  almost  common  cause  for  her 
failing  to  be  in  readiness  for  meeting  her  husband. 
All  of  which  items  must  be  taken  into  account  by 
both  husband  and  wife,  and  intelligently,  lovingly 
dealt  with,  if  the  best  results  for  both  parties  are 
attained. 

As  regards  the  item  of  possible  pregnancy, 
special  note  will  be  made  of  this  feature  later  on. 
It  is  here  placed  in  abeyance  for  the  time  being, 


74  Sane  Sex  Life 

because  its  consideration  can  be  better  provided 
for  after  some  other  points  have  been  studied. 

Now  the  one  easily  understood,  (and  as  easily 
practiced  as  understood)  direction  as  to  what  to 
do  by  way  of  preparation  for  the  act  of  coitus  is: 
do  as  lovers  do  when  they  are  "courting."  And 
everybody  knows  what  that  is!  And  note  this — 
that  nobody  ever  hurries  when  they  are  courting! 
They  delay,  they  protract,  they  dilly-dally,  they 
"fool  around,"  they  pet  each  other  in  all  sorts  of 
possible  and  impossible  ways.  They  kiss  each 
other — "long  and  passionate  kisses,  they  again 
and  again  give  and  receive" — they  hug  each  other, 
nestle  into  each  other's  arms — in  a  word,  they 
"play  together"  in  a  thousand-and-one  ways 
which  the  "goody-goods"  declare  to  be  wrong, 
and  the  cold-blooded  call  nonsense  or  foolish- 
ness, but  which  all  lovers  know  is  an  unspeakable 
delight  ("unspeakable"  is  the  word,  for  who  wants 
to  talk  when  these  blissful  experiences  are  going 
on!). 

Now,  these  things,  and  the  likes  of  these  things, 
in  limitless  supply,  should  always  precede  the  act 
of  coitus.  It  is  right  there  that  this  part  of  the 
first  act  of  this  wonderful  four-act  drama  or  play 
should  be  wrought  out,  and  if  they  are  omitted  or 
disregarded,  the  play  will  end  in  tragedy,  with  all 
the  leading  actors  left  dead  upon  the  stage! 

Now  the  chief,  if  not  the  only,  reason  why  this 
part  of  the  supreme  act  of  married  life  is  not 
always  preluded  in  this  way  is  found  in  the  false 


Sane  Sex  Living  15 

view  of  what  the  marriage  ceremony  means,  and  a 
wrong  impression  as  to  what  it  confers  upon  the 
parties  who  say  "yes"  to  its  prescriptions.  That 
is,  the  common  idea  is,  that  the  taking  of  "marri- 
age vows"  bestows  certain  rights  and  imposes 
certain  duties  upon  the  new  husband  and  wife. 
It  is  thought  that  such  ceremony  makes  certain 
acts  right  which  would  otherwise  be  wrong,  and  that 
it  establishes  the  right  to  engage  in  such  acts, 
with  or  without  any  further  consultation  or  consent 
in  the  premises.  It  makes  love  a  matter  of  con- 
tract, a  something  bound  by  promise  and  pledge 
rather  than  a  free  and  unfettered  effusion  of  the  soul. 

The  result  of  tlu's  is  that,  whereas,  before  the 
marriage  ceremony  both  the  man  and  woman  take 
the  utmost  care  to  do  everything  in  their  power 
to  increase,  magnify,  and  retain  each  other's  love, 
after  they  have  been  granted  a  "license,"  and  the 
minister  has  put  their  hands  together  and  prayed 
over  them — after  this,  they  both  think  they  have 
a  "cinch"  on  each  other,  that  they  are  bound 
together  by  a  bond  that  cannot  be  broken,  a  tie 
so  strong  that  it  will  need  no  further  looking  after, 
but  which  will  "stay  put"  of  its  own  accord,  and 
which  may  therefore  be  left  to  shift  for  itself  from 
the  hour  of  its  pronouncement!  Nothing  could 
be  further  from  the  truth  than  this  is.  And  yet  it  is 
a  common  feeling  and  belief  among  young  married 
people ! 

Nor  is  it  any  wonder  that  this  should  be  so. 
The  very  form  of  the  marriage  ceremony  and 


76  Sane  Sex  Life 

contract  tends  to  make  it  so.  The  fact  that 
marriage  originated  as  a  form  of  slavery,  and  that 
much  of  its  original  status  yet  remains — all  these 
things  tend  to  establish  these  wrong  ideas  regard- 
ing the  estate,  in  the  minds  of  the  parties  to  it. 

Nor  are  the  evils  that  come  from  such  wrong 
view  of  marriage  all  confined  to  one  side  of  the 
house.  On  the  contrary,  they  are  about  evenly 
divided  between  husbands  and  wives,  witness  a 
few  illustrations,  as  follows: 

A  couple  had  been  married  about  a  year. 
They  had  no  children,  nor  were  there  prospects 
of  any.  The  husband  was  beginning  to  spend 
his  evenings  away  from  home,  leaving  his  wife 
alone.  One  evening,  as  he  was  making  ready  to 
go  out,  his  wife  said:  "What  makes  you  go  out 
evenings  now,  and  leave  me  alone!  You  didn't 
use  to  do  it!"     And  the  husband  replied: 

"Why.  you  don't  do  anything  to  make  it 
interesting  for  me  now!  You  used  to  put  on  your 
prettiest  clothes  when  I  came  to  see  you,  fixed  up 
your  hair  bewitchingly,  had  a  smih-  for  me  that 
wouldn't  come  off,  would  sing  for  me,  read  to  me, 
sit  on  my  lap  and  pet  me  and  ki><  me,  and  now 
you  never  do  anything  of  the  kind."  And  before 
he  could  say  more,  the  Wife  responded:  "Oh,  but 

an  married  now,  and  it's  your  duty  to  stay  with 
me!" 

What  wonder  thai  the  husband  went  out  of 
the   hot  mming   the   door   after   him!     The 

wonder  is  that  he  ever  came  back! 


Sane  Sex  Living  77 

Again:  A  woman  who  was  a  graduate  of  a 
famous  Eastern  College  and  who  had  taught  for  a 
number  of  years,  who  was  from  one  of  the  "first 
families"  in  the  east,  and  was  counted  as  a  lady 
of  the  highest  culture  and  refinement,  finally 
married  a  Western  business  man.  On  their  bridal 
night,  as  they  were  retiring,  the  man  laid  his  hand 
on  the  woman's  bare  shoulder,  and  she  threw  it  off, 
and  said  "Don't  be  disgusting!  I  married  you 
because  I  was  tired  of  taking  care  of  myself,  or  of 
having  my  relatives  take  care  of  me.  You  are 
worth  fifty  thousand  dollars,  and  one-third  of  all 
that  was  made  mine  just  as  soon  as  the  preacher 
got  through  his  closing  prayer,  and  you  can't  help 
it!  That's  the  truth,  and  we  are  married,  and 
you  can  make  the  best  of  it!" 

These  are  both  truthful  tales,  nor  are  they  the 
only  ones  of  the  sort  that  could  be  told. 

On  the  other  hand,  these  are  matched  with 
acts  of  ignorant  and  careless  young  husbands, 
who  do  dastardly  deeds  to  their  brides  because 
they  think  the  law  and  the  contract  give  them  the 
right!  There  is  no  need  to  go  into  details.  The 
whole  evil  is  revealed  by  the  words  of  the  woman, 
just  quoted  "Oh,  but  we  are  married  now." 

These  records,  and  all  like  them,  lead  to  the 
remark  that  marriage  confers  no  rights,  to  either 
the  bride  or  the  bridegroom,  in  the  highest  meaning 
of  the  word.  So  far  as  its  outward  and  formal 
observance  is  concerned,  marriage  is  merely  a  sort 
of   protection   for   society   which   has   grown   up 


78  Sane  Sex  Life 

through  the  years,  and  which  is  probably  for  the 
best,  for  the  present,  things  being  as  they  are. 
But  it  should  be  well  understood  that  it  can  never 
lead  to  true  happiness  if  it  is  viewed  and  utilized 
merely  on  its  legal  and  formal  side.  True  marriage 
is  based  on  mutual  love;  and  mutual  love  can  never 
be  traded  upon,  or  made  an  item  of  formal  agreement 
and  contract.  People  may  contract  to  live  together 
and  to  cohabit,  and  they  may  faithfully  carry 
out  their  agreements;  but  this  is  not  marriage! 
It  is  simply  legalized  prostitution,  bargain  and  sale, 
for  a  consideration.  It  is  blasphemy  to  call  it  by 
the  sacred  name  of  marriage! 

Truly  does  Tennyson  say:  "Free  love  will  not 
be  bound."  Indeed  it  cannot  be!  It  must  re- 
main forever  free  if  it  stays  at  all.  And  if  the 
parties  to  it  try  to  bind  it,  the  more  chains,  fasten- 
ings, pledges  and  agreements  they  put  upon  it, 
the  sooner  and  quicker  will  it  escape  from  all  its 
holdings  and  fly  away  and  stay  away! 

And  so,  to  come  back  to  where  we  left  off  (for 
we  said  there  should  be  no  hurrying  or  haste  here) 
let  married  people  understand  that  the  key  to 
married  happiness  is  to  keep  on  "courting"  each 
other.  Indeed,  to  make  courting  continually  grow 
to  more  and  more.  During  the  whole  extent  of 
married  life,  never  neglect,  much  less  forget  to 
be  lovers,  and  to  show,  by  all  your  acts,  that  you 
are  lovers,  and  great  shall  be  your  reward.  Don't 
ask  how  to  do  this!  You  know  how,  well  enough. 
Doit! 


Sane  Sex  Living  79 

And  be  careful  not  to  do  anything  that  a  care- 
ful lover  ought  not  to  do!  This  direction  should 
be  heeded  by  both  husband  and  wife.  Make 
yourself  beautiful  for  your  husband,  Oh,  wife, 
and  keep  yourself  so.  As  between  the  public,  or 
your  friends,  or  society,  give  them  what  of  your- 
self you  can  spare,  after  you  have  given  to  your 
lover  all  that  you  can  bestow  upon  him,  or  he  can 
wish  you  to  bestow.  Don't  give  to  everybody  and 
everything  else,  church,  society,  work,  children, 
friends,  or  what-so-ever — don't  give  all  of  your- 
self to  these,  and  let  your  husband  "take  what 
there  is  left."  Don't  do  that,  as  you  value  your 
married  success  and  happiness!  Don't  say:  "Oh, 
but  we  are  married  now,"  and  let  it  go  at  that! 

The  beautiful  and  delicate  flowers  of  married 
love  need  to  be  watched  and  tended  with  the  most 
skilful  care,  continually,  by  both  husband  and 
wife.  Treated  in  this  way,  they  will  not  only  be 
fragrant  and  lovely  through  all  the  years  of  wedded 
life;  but  as,  one  by  one,  the  blossoms  shed  their 
petals  and  change  their  forms  so  that  luscious 
fruits  may  come  in  turn — as  these  changes  take 
place,  new,  more  beautiful  and  more  fragrant 
flowers  will  continue  to  the  very  end  of  the  long- 
est married  life.  Don't  ever  forget  this,  or  doubt 
it,  as  you  hope  for  happiness  in  the  marriage  state! 
Mind  what  is  here  said,  and  act  accordingly  all 
the  time — days,  nights  and  Sundays! 

Now  if  these  truths  are  thoroughly  inculcated, 
"kicked  in"  so  firmly  and  deeply  that  they  will 


80  Sane  Sex  Life 

never  "jar  loose"  or  get  away,  we  will  move  on. 

So,  then,  the  first  part  of  every  act  of  coitus 
should  always  be  a  courting  act,  in  which  there 
should  be  no  haste,  but  in  which  the  parties  should 
''make  delays,"  as  John  Burroughs  says. 

And  this  should  be  added:  that,  for  married 
lovers,  courting  has  a  far  wider  range  of  possibilities 
than  it  has  for  the  unmarried.  Previous  to  mar- 
riage, there  are  conventionalities  and  clothes  in 
the  way!  After  that,  neither  of  these  need  be  in 
evidence,  and  this  makes  a  lot  of  difference,  and 
all  in  favor  of  the  best  results,  if  rightly  used,  and 
made  the  most  of.  One  hardly  need  to  go  into 
details  here,  (though  this  may  be  done  later  on  in 
this  writing).  If  the  lovers  "will  be  as  free  with 
each  other  unclothed  as  clothed;  if  they  will  utter- 
ly ignore  all  conventionalities,  and  do  with  and  for 
each  other  anything  and  everything  that  their 
impulses  and  inclinations  suggest,  or  their  desires 
prompt;  if  they  will,  with  the  utmost  abandon  give 
themselves  up  to  petting  each  other  in  every 
possible  way  that  mother  nature  has  put  within 
their  reach;  if  they  will  hug  and  kiss  and  "spoon" 
and  "play  with  each  other"  just  as  they  want  to 
do — if  they  will  do  this,  and  not  hurry  about  it — 
then,  in  due  course,  they  will  successfully  execute 
theirs*  act  of  the  great  play  they  are  performing; 
the  sex  organs  will  become  fully  ready  for  the 
union  they  are  both  longing  for;  the  "prostate 
flow"  will  have  added  to  the  erect  condition  of  the 
penis;  the  walls  of  the  vagina  and  all  the  area  of 


Sane  Sex  Living  81 

the  vulva  will  be  enlarged,  soft,  flexible  and  made 
smooth  and  slippery  by  a  most  generous  supply 
of  the  "pre-coital  secretion"  and  everything  will 
be  in  perfect  readiness  for  the  next  part  of  the  per- 
formance, namely  the  union  of  the  organs. 

And  here  it  becomes  necessary  to  say  something 
about  the  position  of  the  parties  in  making  such 
union.  There  are  a  large  number  of  these  possible, 
some  of  which  may  be  noted  later,  but  here,  only 
the  most  common  one  will  be  considered  (it  is 
said  there  are  more  than  forty  different  positions 
possible  in  this  act). 

The  most  common  position  is  for  the  woman 
to  lie  flat  on  her  back,  with  her  legs  spread  wide 
apart,  and  her  knees  drawn  up  so  that  the  angle 
made  by  the  upper  and  lower  part  of  the  leg  shall 
be  less  than  a  right  angle.  Her  head  should  not 
be  too  high,  there  should  be  no  pillow  under  it. 

Into  her  arms,  and  between  her  spread  legs  as 
she  lies  thus,  her  lover  should  come.  His  body 
will  thus  be  over  and  above  her,  and  he  should 
sustain  himself  on  his  elbows  and  knees,  so  that 
little  or  none  of  his  weight  may  rest  upon  her.  In 
this  position,  face  to  face  (and  it  should  be  noted 
that  only  in  the  human  family  is  this  position  of 
coitus  possible!  Among  mere  animals,  the  male 
is  always  upon  the  back  of  the  female.  They — 
mere  animals — can  never  look  each  other  in  the 
eye  and  kiss  each  other  during  the  act!  This  is 
another  marked  and  very  significant  difference 
between  human  beings  and  all  other  anima's  in 


82  Sane  Sex  Life 

this  regard)  it  is  perfectly  natural  and  easy  for  the 
organs  to  go  together,  when  properly  made  ready, 
as  here-before  described.  The  woman  should  also 
place  her  heels  in  the  knee-hollows  of  her  lover's 
legs,  and  clasp  his  body  with  her  arms. 

The  entrance  of  the  penis  into  the  vagina 
should  not  be  too  abrupt,  unless  circumstances 
are  perfectly  favorable  for  such  meeting  and  it  is 
the  wish  of  the  wife  that  it  be  made  in  this  way. 
It  is  only  fair  to  say,  though,  that  such  bold  and 
pronounced  entrance  is  often  greatly  desired  by 
the  woman,  if  her  passion  has  been  fully  aroused  at 
this  stage  of  the  act.  Such  union  is  not  infre- 
quently of  the  greatest  delight  to  her,  if  everything 
is  favorable  for  its  being  so  made.  But,  if  there 
is  any  pain  produced  in  her  by  the  coming  together, 
the  meeting  should  be  gentle  and  slow,  the  penis 
working  its  way  into  the  vagina  by  degrees,  till, 
finally,  it  is  entirely  encased  therein.  Once  thus 
happily  together,  the  vagina  and  uterine  cavity 
will  still  further  expand,  till,  in  due  order,  the  two 
organs  will  be  fitted  together  perfectly,  a  single 
unit,  one,  in  the  highest  sense  of  unity. 

This  is  the  second  act  in  this  wonderful  play. 

Once  well  together,  and  the  organs  perfectly 
settled  and  adapted  to  each  other,  the  third  act 
begins,  namely,  the  motion  of  the  organs — the  slid- 
ing of  the  penis  back  and  forth,  partly  in  and  out 
of  the  vagina,  though  this  is  not  really  the  best  way 
of  describing  just  what  should  take  place.  What 
should  actually  be  done  is,  that  the  two  organs 


Sane  Sex  Living  83 

should  engage  in  this  motion,  which  is  common  to 
than  both.  They  should  mutually  slip  a  few  inches, 
back  and  forth,  each  party  to  the  motion  doing  a  fair 
half. 

It  is  often  supposed,  by  both  an  unitiated 
husband  and  an  "innocent"  wife,  that  all  the 
motion  should  originate  with  the  husband — that 
he  should  slide  his  penis  in  and  out  of  the  vagina, 
while  the  woman  should  lie  still  and  "let  him  do  it 
all. "  This  is,  however,  a  great  mistake,  and  one 
that  has  caused  an  endless  amount  of  ill  to  untold 
numbers  of  husbands  and  wives.  And  for  the 
following  reasons : 

In  the  position  just  described,  if  the  wife  has 
her  arms  around  her  lover's  body  and  her  heels 
in  his  knee-pockets,  while  he  supports  himself  by 
his  elbows  and  knees  over  and  above  her,  resting 
n on e  of  his  weight  upon  her,  it  is  perfectly  easy  for 
her  to  lift  her  hips  up  and  down,  or  sway  them  from 
side  to  side,  or  swing  them  in  a  circling  "round- 
and-round"  motion,  as  she  may  choose  to  do. 
She  can  thus  originate  her  half  of  the  in-and-out 
motion — a  something  she  will  delight  to  do,  if 
given  a  fair  chance.  If,  however,  the  man  lies 
heavily  upon  her,  holding  her  down  with  the  weight 
of  his  body,  the  possibility  of  such  action  on  her 
part  is  prevented,  and  this  results  disastrously 
to  both  parties.  And  so,  in  this  part  of  the  act, 
the  husband  should  take  the  utmost  care  to  give  his 
wife  the  full  and  complete  freedom  to  move  her 


84  Sane  Sex  Life 

hips  as  she  chooses,  and  as  a  successful  climax 
demands  that  she  should. 

Now  if  the  wife  be  left  free  to  move,  as  just 
described,  and  the  in-and-out  motion  proceeds  as 
it  should,  what  immediately  follows  will  vary  in 
a  great  degree.  Thus,  the  time  taken  to  reach  the 
climax,  or  last  act  of  the  performance,  may  be  a 
few  seconds,  or  several  minutes,  may  require  a 
mere  half  dozen  motions,  or  several  hundred!  All 
depends  on  the  intensity  of  the  passions  of  the 
husband  and  wife,  especially  the  latter,  and  their 
skill  in  manipulating  this  part  of  the  act. 

The  effect  of  this  motion  is  to  still  further  excite 
and  still  more  distend  all  the  organs  involved. 
Normally,  the  motion  grows  faster  and  faster,  the 
strokes  becoming  as  long  as  tne  length  of  the 
organs  will  possibly  permit  without  separating 
them.  The  flow  of  the  lubricating  fluids,  from 
both  organs,  becomes  more  and  more  copious, 
till,  all  at  once,  the  orgasm,  or  fourth  stage  is 
reached ! 

It  is  difficult  to  describe  what  this  orgasm  is 
like.  There  is  no  bodily  sensation  that  ;tt  all 
corresponds  to  it,  unless  it  be  a  sneeze,  and  thu 
only  like  it  in  that  it  is  spontaneous,  and  a  sort  of 
nervous  spasm  (a  sneeze  is  sometimes  spoken  of 
as  an  orgasm).  A  sexual  orgasm  is  a  nervous 
spasm,  or  a  series  of  pulsating  nervous  explosions 
which  defy  description.    The  action  is  entirely 

ond  the  control  of  the  will,  when  it  finally 
arrives,  and  the  sensation  it  produces  is  delectable 


Sane  Sex  Living  85 

beyond  telling.  It  is  the  topmost  pinnacle  of 
all  human  experiences  FW  a  husband  and  wife 
to  reach  this  climax,  at  exactly  the  same  instant, 
is  a  consummation  that  can  never  be  excelled  in 
human  life.  It  is  a  goal  worthy  the  endeavor  of 
all  husbands  and  wives,  to  attain  to  this  supreme 
height  of  sexual  possibilities. 

On  the  part  of  the  man,  the  orgasm  throws  the 
semen  into,  and  all  about  the  vaginal-uterine  tract. 
The  amount  of  semen  thus  discharged  at  a  single 
climax  is  about  a  tablespoonful,  enough  to  entirely 
flush  and  flood  the  area  into  which  it  is  thrown. 
Its  use  and  action  there  have  already  been  describ- 
ed, and  so  need  not  be  repeated  here. 

On  the  part  of  the  woman,  the  orgasm  causes 
no  corresponding  emission  of  fluid,  of  any  sort,  that 
is  jetted  forth  as  is  the  semen.  Yet  the  spasmodic 
action  of  the  sexual  parts,  so  far  as  nervous  ex- 
plosions are  concerned,  is  exactly  like  that  of  her 
partner.  Palpitation  follows  palpitation,  through 
all  the  sexual  area;  the  mouth  of  the  womb  opens 
and  closes  convulsively,  the  vagina  dilates  and 
contracts  again  and  again,  and  the  vulva  under- 
goes similar  actions.  These  sensations  are  all  of 
the  most  delectable  nature,  the  whole  of  the 
woman's  body  being  thrilled,  over  and  over,  again 
and  again,  with  delights  inexpressible.  This, 
however,  seems  to  be  the  entire  mission  of  the 
orgasm  in  woman.  It  has  nothing  whatever  to  do 
with  conception;  though  many  people,  especially 
young  husbands  who  know  just  a  little  about  the 


86  Sane  Sex  Life 

phenomenon,  believe  that  it  is  an  essential  to 
pregnancy.  But  such  is  by  no  means  the  case. 
All  that  is  needed  to  bring  about  conception  in  a 
woman  is  the  presence  of  the  ovum  in  the  uterus, 
and  its  meeting  semen  there,  and  so  becoming 
fertilized.  So  far  as  becoming  pregnant  is  con- 
cerned, the  woman  need  have  no  pleasure  at  all  in 
the  act  of  coitus.  Indeed,  women  have  been  made 
pregnant  by  securing  fresh  semen  from  some  man 
and  injecting  it  into  the  vagina  with  an  ordinary 
female  syringe ! 

The  false  idea,  which  largely  prevails,  and 
which  usually  takes  the  form  that  there  is  no 
danger  or  possibility  of  conception  unless  the 
orgasm  is  simultaneous  on  the  part  of  the  man  and 
woman,  has  caused  many  a  woman  to  become 
pregnant  when  she  thought  such  a  result  to  be  im- 
possible, because  she  and  her  lover  did  not  "spend" 
at  the  same  instant.  For  the  same  reason,  many 
a  young  husband  has  impregnated  his  wife  when 
he  least  expected  to  do  so,  thinking  that  because 
he  alone  experienced  the  orgasm,  that  therefore 
conception  was  impossible. 

Again,  there  are  many  married  men  and  women 
who  do  not  know  that  it  is  possible  for  a  woman 
to  experience  an  orgasm  at  all!  The  writer  once 
knew  a  case  of  this  kind,  where  a  husband  and  wife, 
most  intelligent  and  well  cultivated  people,  lived 
together  for  twenty  years,  and  to  whom  were  born 
six  children,  who,  at  the  end  of  that  time  were 
wholly  unaware  of  such  possibility!     They  after- 


Sane  Sex  Living  87 

wards  discovered  it  by  accident,  as  it  were,  and 
after  that  enjoyed  its  delights  for  many  years. 
There  are  some,  yea,  many,  women  who  never 
experience  this  sensation  at  all,  but  of  this  more 
will  be  said  later. 

All  these  phenomena  seem  to  indicate  the  fact 
that,  so  far  as  women  are  concerned,  the  orgasm  is 
entirely  for  her  delectation  and  delight.  It  forms  no 
part  of  the  act  of  conception,  and  its  only  possible 
function,  beyond  that  of  pleasure,  is  that,  because 
of  the  exceedingly  delightful  sensations  it  pro- 
duces, it  may  lure  women  to  engage  in  coitus  when, 
but  for  this  fact,  they  would  not  do  so,  and  that 
it  thus  increases  the  possibility  of  women  becoming 
mothers.  Indeed,  there  is  no  stronger  temptation 
to  a  woman  to  run  the  risk  of  becoming  pregnant 
than  her  desire  to  experience  an  orgasm!  But 
more  of  this  later. 

As  soon  as  the  orgasm  is  over,  a  total  collapse 
of  the  husband  and  wife  takes  place.  They  are 
truly  "spent, "  a  most  expressive  word,  which  alone 
can  describe  their  condition.  On  the  part  of  the 
man  the  up-to-this-moment  stout  penis,  becomes 
almost  instantly  limp  and  shrunken,  while  all  the 
female  organs  become  quiescent.  A  most  delight- 
ful langour  steals  over  them;  every  nerve  and  fibre 
of  the  whole  body  relaxes;  and  a  desire  to  fall 
asleep  at  once,  comes  upon  them  irresistibly. 
And  the  thing  for  them  to  do  is  to  avail  themselves 
of  such  natural  impulse,  just  as  soon  as  possible, 
They    should  always  have  at  hand,   and  within 


88  Sane  Sex  Life 

easy  reach,  a  towel,  or  napkin,  with  which  to  care 
for  the  surplus  of  the  seminal  emission,  which,  as 
soon  as  the  organs  are  separated  will,  in  greater  or 
less  quantity,  flow  from  the  vagina.  Some  of  the 
same  fluid  will  also  remain  upon  the  penis  when 
it  is  withdrawn.  The  husband  should  absorb  this 
surplus  which  remains  with  him  with  the  towel, 
as  soon  as  the  organs  are  parted,  and  immediately 
leave  his  super-imposed  position,  leaving  his  wife 
perfectly  free,  to  do  as  she  will.  She  should  arrange 
the  towel  between  her  thighs,  exactly  as  she  would 
a  sanitary  napkin,  making  no  attempt  to  remove 
the  surplus  semen  at  that  time,  and  turn  over 
and  go  to  sleep  immediately.  (It  is  said  that  if  the 
woman  goes  to  sleep  on  her  back,  after  coition,  she 
tl  ereby  increases  the  probability  of  becoming  preg- 
nant. This  is  a  point  that  women  who  greatly 
desire  motherhood  should  note.  The  writer  knew 
one  case  wl  ere  a  wife  lay  on  her  back  for  twenty- 
feur  hours  after  coition  and  so  became  pregnant 
after  all  otl  er  d  eans  had  failed.) 

New  it  i!  ighl  seem  that  such  neglect,  on  the 
i  of  the  won  an,  to  immediately  remove  the 
surplus    .4en  en,    was    i  y    u  d    unsanitary. 

1  til  tl  is  s  not  at  all  true,  and  for  this  reason: 
The  semen  is  a  most  p<  stimulant  to  all  the 

female  sex-organs,  and  to  the  uhole  body  of  the 
.    The  organs  tl  en  seh  i  a  will  absorb  quan- 
tities of  sen  tn,  if  left  in  contact  with  it.  and  ii  is 
it  healthful  and  beneficial  to  them,  and  to  the 
woman,  to  have  them  do  so.     It  is  for  this  cause 


Sane  Sex  Living  89 

that  many  women  increase  in  flesh,  and  even 
grow  fat  after  they  are  married  and  so  can  avail 
themselves  of  this  healthful  food.  As  a  matter  of 
fact,  tliere  is  no  nerve-stimulant,  or  nerve-quieter,  that 
is  as  potent  to  womankind  as  semen.  There  are 
multitudes  of  "nervous"  women,  hysterical  even, 
who  are  restored  to  health,  and  kept  in  good 
health,  through  the  stimulative  effects  of  satisfac- 
tory coitus  and  the  absorption  of  semen,  when 
both  these  items  are  present  in  perfection.  On 
the  other  hand,  there  are  many  women  who  suffer 
all  sorts  of  ills,  when  these  normally  beneficial 
factors  are  misused  or  wrongly  applied.  The 
results  that  follow  all  depend  upon  the  way  the  act 
is  done,  and  its  products  utilized. 

So,  after  the  act  of  coition  is  over,  let  the  woman 
slip  a  "bandage"  into  place  as  soon  as  possible, 
and  go  to  sleep.  If  she  sleeps  long,  so  much  the 
better,  so  much  more  will  she  be  benefitted  by  the 
presence  of  the  semen  and  its  absorption.  When 
she  naturally  wakens,  she  may  bathe  the  vulva 
region  with  warm  water;  but  there  is  no  need  of, 
nor  is  it  wise  to  try  to  cleanse  the  vagina  and  the 
uterine  tract  by  the  use  of  a  vaginal  syringe. 
Above  all,  never  inject  cold  wa  er  into  the  vagina, 
especially  do  not  do  this  immediately  after  coitus. 
Some  women  use  a  cold  water  injection  immedi- 
ately after  coitus.  There  is  no  surer  way  to  ill 
health  and  ultimate  suicide  The  parts  are 
congested  with  blood  at  such  times,  and  to  pour 
cold  water  upon  them  "is  as  though,  when  one  is 


90  Sane  Sex  Life 

dripping  with  perspiration,  he  should  plunge  into 
a  cold  bath.  Nature  has  made  wise  provision  for 
taking  care  of  all  the  semen  that  remains  in  the 
vagina.  Let  the  parts  alone,  and  they  will  cleanse 
and  care  for  themselves. 

Such,  then,  is  a  somewhat  extended  review  of 
the  act  of  coitus  at  its  best  estate,  and  in  a  general 
way.  Its  perfect  accomplishment  is  an  art  to  be 
cultivated,  and  one  in  which  expertness  can  only 
be  attained  by  wise  observation,  careful  study  of  all 
the  factors  in  the  problem,  skilful  manipulation  of 
all  the  parts  involved,  and  a  loving  adaptation  of  the 
bodies,  minds  and  souls  of  both  the  parties  to  the  act. 
It  is  no  mere  animal  function.  It  is  a  union,  a 
unity  of  '  two  souls  with  but  a  single  thought,'  two 
hearts  that  beat  as  one."  There  is  nothing  low 
or  degrading  about  it,  when  it  is  what  it  ought 
to  be,  when  it  is  brought  to,  and  experienced  at, 
its  highest  and  best  estate.  It  is  God-designed 
God-born,  God-bestowed!  As  such  it  should  be 
thankfully  received  and  divinely  used  by  all  the 
sons  and  daughters  of  men. 


VII 

THE   FIRST   UNION 

AND  now,  although  so  much  has  been  said, 
there  is  much  that  remains  to  be  said,  and 
which  ought  to  be  said,  to  do  the  subject  justice. 
Some  of  these  things  are  as  follows: 

Something  more  ought  to  be  told  about  the 
second  part  of  the  act  of  coitus,  the  union  of  the 
organs,  when  this  occurs  for  the  first  time  on  the 
part  of  the  woman. 

At  the  first  meeting  of  the  husband  and  wife, 
if  the  woman  be  a  virgin,  there  are  certain  con- 
ditions which  exist,  on  her  part,  that  are  not 
present  in  after-meetings,  and  these  must  be  under- 
stood and  rightly  dealt  with,  or  the  worst  of  bad 
results  may  ensue. 

Of  course,  at  such  first  meeting,  all  the  pre- 
liminaries prescribed  as  forming  the  first  movement 
of  the  act  should  be  carried  out  to  the  limit  It 
is  not  too  much  to  say  that  these  should  be  pro- 
longed for  some  days!  Do  not  start,  young  hus- 
band, at  this  statement!  Well  did  Alexander 
Dumas,  pere  write:  "Oh,  young  husband,  have  a 
care  in  the  first  overtures  you  make  toward  your 
bride!  She  may  shrink  from  what  she  feels  must 
come;  she  may  put  her  hands  over  her  eyes  to  shut 

91 


92  Sane  Sex  Life 

out  the  sight;  but  do  not  forget  that  she  is  a  woman, 
and  so  is  filled  with  curiosity,  under  any  and  all 
circumstances !  And  you  may  set  it  down  as  sure, 
that,  though  she  blinds  herself  with  her  hands,  as 
she  scales  the  dizzy  heights  you  are  leading  her 
over,  nevertheless,  she  mill  peek  through  her  fingers! 
So  she  will  watch  you  with  most  critical  eyes,  and 
note  every  show  of  selfishness  or  blundering  on 
your  part!  So  have  a  care!  You  may  think  you 
are  aiming  your  arrow  at  the  sun.  See  to  it  that 
it  does  not  alight  in  the  mud!"  Good  words 
these,  and  to  be  heeded,  come  what  may! 

As  a  rule,  if  the  bride  be  a  virgin,  it  is  well  to 
let  plenty  of  time  elapse  before  engaging  in  the  full 
act  of  coitus!  Delay  here  will  lead  to  a  possible 
loving  speed,  later  on.  The  young  people  should 
take  time  enough  to  get  better  acquainted  with 
each  other  than  ever  before;  to  become,  in  a  meas- 
ure, accustomed  to  the  uncovered  presence  of  each 
other,  and  to  the  new  possibilities  of  "courting" 
and  "playing  together"  that  their  new  conditions 
offer.  In  any  case,  full  coitus  should  not  be  at- 
tempted till  the  bride  is  at  least  willing.  If  she 
can  be  brought  to  become  anxious  for  the  meeting, 
so  much  the  better. 

And  so,  with  plenty  of  time  taken  for  making 
ready  for  the  act,  we  come  to  the  first  union  of 
the  organs  for  a  newly  married  couple,  the  bride 
being  a  virgin.  And  here  is  where  an  explanation 
is  called  for. 

The  vulva,  or  external  part  of  the  female  sex 


Sane  Sex  Living  93 

organs,  is  a  mouth  shaped  aperature,  located 
laterally  between  the  forward  parts  of  the  thighs. 
In  shape,  size  and  structure,  it  much  resembles 
the  external  parts  of  the  mouth  proper.  It  begins 
just  in  front  of  the  anus,  and  extends  forward 
above  the  pubic  bone  and  a  little  ways  up  the 
belly.  Its  entire  lateral  length  is  about  four  or 
more  inches. 

This  organ  is  made  up  of  several  parts,  as  fol- 
lows: The  lips,  or  labiae,  as  they  are  technically 
known,  the  clitoris,  and  the  vaginal  opening. 
The  lips  are  a  double  row,  two  on  either  side,  and 
are  known  as  labiae  major  and  labiae  minor,  that 
is,  the  thicker  and  thinner,  or  larger  and  smaller 
lips.  They  extend  almost  the  entire  length  of 
the  vulva,  the  outer  lips  folding  over  the  inner 
ones  when  the  thighs  are  together.  The  outer 
parts  of  the  larger  lips  are  covered  with  hair.  In 
thickness  and  quality  these  labiae  are  much  like 
the  lips  of  the  face  of  each  individual,  a  large 
mouth  and  thick  lips  indicate  a  large  vulva  and 
thick  labiae,  and  vice-versa.  The  clitoris  is  a 
gland  that  is  located  forward,  on  the  upper  part 
of  the  vulva.  It  corresponds,  almost  exactly,  in 
make-up  and  function,  with  the  glans  penis  of  the 
male  organ.  The  vaginal  opening  is  at  the  rear, 
or  lower  part  of  the  vulva,  and  leads  directly  into 
the   vagina   proper. 

All  these  parts  are  composed  of  most  keenly 
responsive  nerves,  and  they  are  covered  with  a 
thin,  delicate  and  exceedingly  sensitive  skin,  al- 


94  Sane  Sex  Life 

most  exactly  such  as  lines  the  cheeks  and  the 
ir.outh.  Both  the  clitoris  and  the  lips  arc  filled 
with  expaudable  blood  vessels,  and  in  a  state  of 
tun  v  arc  greatly  enlarged  by  a  flow  of 

blood  into  the  parts.  The  clitoris,  in  this  con- 
dition, undergoes  an  enlargement,  or  "erection," 
which  is  exactly  like  that  of  the  glans  penis.  So 
much  as  to  the  physiology  of  this  part  of  the 
female  sex  organs,  all  of  which  should  be  well  un- 
derstood by  every  bride  and  bridegroom,  though 
often  it  is  not. 

Now,  in  its  virgin  state,  the  vulva  has  another 
part,  not  yet  named,  and  this  is  the  hymen,  or 
"maiden-head"  as  it  is  commonly  known.  This 
is  a  membrane  that  grows  across  the  forward,  or 
upper  part  of  the  vaginal  opening,  and  so  closes  up 
nearly  all  that  part  of  the  vulva.  This  hymen  is 
not  always  present,  however,  even  in  a  state  of 
undoubted  virginity.  Sometimes  it  is  torn  away 
in  chrdhood  by  the  little  girl's  ringers,  as  she 
"p'ays  with  herself."  Sometimes  it  is  ruptured 
by  lifting,  again  it  is  broken  away  by  the  use  of  a 
large-sized  female  syringe.  For  all  these  reasons, 
it  is  not  right  o  conclude  that  a  bride  is  not  a  virgin 
because  the  hymen  is  not  present  and  in  evidence  at 
the  first  coition. 

Now  many  young  husbands,  and  some  young 
wives,  are  wholly  ignorant  of  the  existence  of  the 
hymen,  and  of  the  troubles  it  may  eause  at  the 
second  part  of  the  sexual  act,  in  a  first  meeting. 
This  membrane  is  often  quite  tough  and  strong. 


Sane  Sex  Living  95 

It  is  grown  fast  to  the  lower  part  of  the  clitoris 
and  to  the  inside  surfaces  of  the  smaller  lips,  and 
it  covers  so  much  of  the  vaginal  opening  that  it  is 
practically  impossible  for  the  erect  penis  to  enter 
the  vagina  so  long  as  it  is  present.  Now  if,  under 
these  conditions,  the  bride  and  groom  (especially 
the  latter)  are  ignorant  of  the  real  construction 
of  the  parts,  and  so  should  try  to  make  a  union  of 
the  organs,  they  would  find  such  union  obstructed, 
if  not  impossible;  and  if  the  man,  puzzled,  and 
impatient,  and  passion-driven,  should  force  a 
hasty  entrance  into  the  vagina,  rupturing  the 
hymen  ruthlessly,  he  would  hurt  the  woman  cruel- 
ly, probably  cause  her  to  bleed  freely  from  the 
wounded  parts,  and  shock  her  seriously!  All  of 
which  would  be  a  score  against  the  husband,  would 
brand  him  as  a  brute,  or  a  bungler,  and  so  tend  to 
make  his  "sun-aimed  arrow  alight  in  the  mud." 

The  thing  to  do  here,  is,  first  of  all,  to  know 
the  situation  and  to  talk  it  over,  and  carefully, 
delicately,  do  the  best  that  can  be  done  about  it. 
If  the  conditions  are  fully  understood  by  the 
bride  and  groom,  they  can,  in  almost  every  case, 
by  working  and  moving  together  carefully,  over- 
come the  obstacle,  remove  the  hyman  with  little 
or  no  pain  or  loss  of  blood. 

As  a  matter  of  fact,  when  the  time  for  meeting 
comes,  if  all  the  facts  are  known,  and  the  husband 
will  hold  his  erect  penis  still  and  steady  against 
the  hymen,  the  bride  will  so  press  against  it,  and 
"wiggle  around"  it,  that  by  her  own  motions,  she 


96  Sane  Sex  Life 

will  break  the  membrane  and  so  be  rid  of  it.  She 
knows  how  much  pain  she  can  endure,  and  when 
the  pressure  is  too  hard  she  can  relieve  it  by  her 
own  action!  Anyhow,  what  is  done  she  does  her- 
self, and  so  can  never  charge  up  against  her  hus- 
band! 

It  is  a  rare  case  in  which,  by  mutual  willing- 
ness, and  desire  and  mutual  effort  to  remove  the 
obstruction,  it  cannot  be  eliminated  with  satisfac- 
tion to  both  bride  and  groom.  If,  however, 
careful  and  well-executed  efforts  fail  to  remove  it, 
the  services  of  a  surgeon  should  be  proc  red,  and 
he,  by  a  very  simple  and  almost  painless  operation 
can  remove  the  difficulty  But  never,  no  never, 
should  it  be  bruta  ly  torn  away  by  the  force  of  the 
husband,  and  without  the  full  willingness  of  the 
wife.  Mark  this  icell  As  a  matter  of  fact,  the 
wise  and  practical  thing  for  every  bride  to  do, 
would  be  to  go  to  a  surgeon  a  few  days  before  her 
wedding,  and  have  him  remove  the  hymen  for  her. 
Such  operation  is  nearly  painless,  and  is  very  easily 
done,  Still,  to  do  this  might  raise  a  doubt  of 
virginity  on  the  part  of  the  husband  and  so  this 
is  a  point  to  be  careful  about! 

The  act  of  removing  the  hymen  is  often  spoken 
of  as  "defloration" — the  tearing  to  pieces  of  a 
flower.  The  term  is  not  fortunate.  Nothing 
worth  while  has  been  taken  away  by  removing  the 
hymen,  but.  much  that  is  useful  lias  been  acquired. 
An  organ  that  has  outlived  whatever  usefulness  it 
might  once  have  had  has  been  removed,  and  its 


Sane  Sex  Living  97 

going  has  made  possible  new  and  beautiful  uses  in 
life.  If  this  has  been  accomplished  by  the  mutual 
desire  and  effort  of  the  bride  and  groom,  it  is  a 
cause  for  joy  and  not  of  sorrow ;  of  delight  and  not 
of  mourning.  As  well  weep  over  the  removal  of 
the  vermiform  appendix  as  for  the  destruction  of 
the  hymen. 

With  this  obstacle  rightly  overcome,  the  second 
act  of  coitus  offers  no  situation  that  calls  for 
further  remark  of  explanation. 

And  now  a  few  words  about  the  probabilities 
of  conception  resulting  from  coitus,  and  some 
matters  which  are  very  closely  related  thereto. 

In  the  first  place,  every  healthy  and  fairly-well- 
provided-for  husband  and  wife  should  desire  to 
have  children,  and  should  act  in  accordance  with 
such  wish.  This  is  not  only  in  harmony  with  the 
primary  purpose  of  sex  in  the  human  family,  but 
it  is  a  response  to  a  natural  demand  of  the  human 
soul,  in  both  man  and  woman.  As  Bernard  Shaw 
makes  Jack  Tanner  say  "There  is  a  father-heart 
as  well  as  a  mother-heart"  and  parenthood  is  the 
supreme  desire  of  all  normal  and  wholesome-minded 
men  and  women.  It  is  not  an  "instinct,"  but 
something  far  above  that  quality. 

Parenthood  among  mere  animals  is  the  result 
of  instinct,  and  of  that  alone,  but  not  so  in  the 
human  race.  Human  beings  naturally  desire  to 
make  a  home  for  themselves,  and  a  home,  in  the 
fullest  meaning  of  that  word,  means  children  and 
a  "family  circle. "     This  is  something  that  animals 


98  Sane  Sex  Life 

know  nothing  about.  Animal  mothers  forget  and 
ignore  their  progeny  as  soon  as  they  are  weaned; 
and  animal  fathers  will,  in  many  cases,  kill  them 
as  soon  as  they  are  born,  if  they  get  a  chance  to 
do  so.  These  facts  prove  that  parenthood,  in  the 
human  family,  is  something  much  more  than  in 
the  rest  of  the  animal  kingdom.  Indeed,  the 
whole  matter  of  comparing  this  quality,  as  it 
exists  in  humanity,  with  that  of  animals  merely, 
is  only  a  continuance  of  the  similar  abomination 
of  comparing  the  sex  function  of  these  two  forms 
of  life.  In  the  real  essentials  of  existence,  they  are 
in  no  way  comparable;  and  to  make  such  is  not 
only  folly,  but  approaches  the  positively  criminal. 
The  results  of  doing  so  certainly  lead  to  crime. 

Fundamentally,  then,  nearly  all  men  and 
women  marry  with  the  purpose  and  hope  of  having 
a  family  of  children.  They  may  not  put  it  that 
way,  may  not  even  acknowledge  it,  even  to  each 
other  or  to  themselves;  but  if  married  people  find 
that  they  cannot  produce,  it  is  a  source  of  un- 
speakable regret  to  them  both.  In  such  cases, 
the  inherent  desire  for  parenthood  will  "cry  aloud 
and  spare  not."  A  "barren"  woman  greatly 
mourns  her  inability,  and  will  shed  bitter  tears 
over  the  fact,  if  she  be  truly  human;  and  an 
"impotent"  man  will  be  practically  despised  by 
all  who  are  aware  of  his  incompetence. 

And  yet,  though  all  normal  men  and  women 
desire  to  have  children,  it  is  only  right  that  they 
should  desire  to  have  them  as  they  want  them,  and 


Sane  Sex  Living  00 

when  they  want  them,  and  not  whenever  they  may 
happen  to  come!  That  is,  sensible  and  thoughtful 
people,  who  plan  definitely  for  the  future,  want 
to  make  the  coming  of  children  to  them  an  affair 
of  deliberate  arrangement,  and  not  of  chance. 

This  is  not  only  as  it  should  be,  but  is  really 
the  only  right  way  that  children  should  be  be- 
gotten and  born.  Which  statement  calls  for  a 
few  special  words  on  the  right  of  parents  to  regu- 
late the  production  of  progeny. 

There  is  much  talk,  in  some  quarters,  about 
"race  suicide,"  and  the  wickedness  of  deliberately 
limiting  the  number  of  children  in  a  family.  Such 
talking  and  writing  arouse  anxious  questionings 
in  the  minds  of  conscientious  young  married  men 
and  women  who  are  desiring  to  do  the  right  thing 
in  the  premises,  but  are  uncertain  as  to  what  the 
right  thing  is,  and  for  such  are  the  following  words: 

Many  years  ago,  an  English  philosopher  and 
statesman,  Malthus  by  name,  discovered  and  an- 
nounced the  fact  that  the  rate  of  natural  increase 
in  the  human  race  was  several  times  greater  than 
that  of  the  possible  rate  of  production  of  food 
supply  for  their  support.  Scientifically  phrased, 
his  statement  was  that  "the  rate  of  increase  in 
humanity  is  in  geometrical  ratio,  while  the  rate  of 
increase  of  possible  food  supply  is  in  arithmetical 
ratio."  And  from  this  basis,  he  reasoned  that, 
unless  the  surplus  of  human  production  was  in 
some  way  cut  off  and  destroyed,  the  whole  human 
race  would  ultimately  demand  more  food  supply 


100  Sane  Sex  Life 

than  could  possibly  be  produced;  and  so,  in  due 
course  of  time,  the  whole  race  would  perish  from 
starvation ! 

Then  he  proceeded  to  reason  that  the  purpose 
of  disease,  plague,  pestilence,  famine,  poverty  and 
warfare  was  to  cut  off  and  destroy  the  surplus  of 
humanity,  and  hence  all  these  alleged  evils  were 
in  reality  blessings  in  disguise,  and  that  it  would 
be  wrong  to  interfere  with  their  really  beneficient 
workings!  Volumes  could  be  written,  and  they 
could  not  tell  the  half  of  the  misery  and  evil  that 
the  promulgation  of  this  doctrine  has  done  for 
the  civilized  world,  but  there  is  no  space  here  for 
giving  any  such  details;  nor  need  this  be  done, 
though  the  statement  of  the  doctrine  had  to  be 
made  to  make  ready  for  what  is  to  follow. 

Now,  is  it  not  far  more  reasonable  to  suppose 
that,  since  the  possibility  of  determining  the  number 
of  offspring  a  husband  and  wife  may  produce  has 
been  given  them;  that  since  such  result  can  be,  for 
them,  made  a  matter  of  choice,  of  an  exercise  of  the 
will,  and  not  of  blind  instinct — under  these  cir- 
cumstances, all  of  which  undoubtedly  exist,  is  it 
not  far  more  reasonable  to  believe  that  it  is  the 
purpose  of  the  Creator  that  the  limiting  of  the 
number  of  human  beings  in  the  world  should  be 
brought  about  by  curbing  the  birth  rate,  rather 
than  by  killing  the  surplus  after  they  are  born! 

There  can  be  but  one  answer  made  to  this 
question,  by  any  intelligent  man  or  woman. 

These  facts,  then,  establish  the  rightfulness  of 


Sane  Sex  Living  101 

determining  the  number  and  size  of  a  family  by  every 
husband  and  wife.  But  this  does  not  mean  that 
they  are  to  entirely  refrain  from  cohabiting,  in 
order  to  keep  from  having  children!  This  phase 
of  the  argument  has  already  been  gone  over  and 
disposed  of.  But  it  does  mean  that  husbands  and 
wives  have  a  right  to  use  such  rightful  means  for 
the  limiting  of  the  number  of  offspring  as  are  con- 
ducive to  the  interests  of  all  parties  concerned — 
themselves,  their  circumstances,  the  born  or  un- 
born children,  the  state,  the  nation.  Let  the 
bride  and  groom  be  well  convinced  and  established 
in  their  own  minds  on  these  points,  as  early  in 
their  relation  as  possible.  They  should  be  so  from 
the  very  outset — must  be  so,  to  reach  the  best 
results. 

The  issue  then  presents  itself:  How  can  such 
deliberate  and  wilful  determination  of  the  number 
of  children  a  husband  and  wife  may  have,  be 
brought  about? 

And  the  answer  is,  that  it  can  never  be  accom- 
plished by  careless  and  hap-hazzard  cohabiting!  On 
the  contrary,  it  can  only  be  compassed  by  the 
most  careful  and  watchful  processes  of  engaging  in 
coitus,  and  by  a  full  knowledge  of  physiological 
facts,  and  by  acting,  always,  in  accordance,  with 
the  same.  It  is  no  road  for  careless  travel,  but 
it  is  a  way  worth  going  in,  for  all  that. 

On  this  point,  let  it  be  said  that  all  sane  and 
intelligent  men  and  women  agree  that  anything 
even  approaching  infanticide  is  nothing  short  of  a 


102  Sane  Sex  Life 

crime,  and  that  abortion,  except  for  the  purpose 
of  saving  the  life  of  the  mother  is  practically 
murder. 

But,  while  this  is  all  true,  to  prevent  the  con- 
tact of  two  germs  which,  if  permitted  to  unite, 
would  be  liable  to  result  in  a  living  human  form, 
is  quite  another  affair. 

It  is  only  this  aspect  of  the  situation  which  will 
be  considered  in  what  follows. 

Now,  as  has  already  been  shown,  the  essentials 
for  conception  consist  of  having  the  ovum  present 
in  the  womb,  and  its  meeting  the  semen  there. 
The  corollary  of  this  is,  that  whenever  these  coin- 
cidences take  place,  there  is  a  'possibility  for  con- 
ception. 

But  in  all  normal  cases,  the  ovum  only  passes 
into  the  womb  once  in  every  twenty -eight  days; 
and,  as  a  rule,  it  only  remains  in  the  womb  for 
about  half  that  period  of  time,  that  is,  for  about 
14  or  15  days  in  each  month.  And  so,  since  the 
menstrual  flow  ceases  after  about  five  days  from 
its  beginning,  in  about  ten  days  after  its  stopping, 
the  ovum  will  have  passed  out  of  the  womb,  and 
hence  that  organ  contains  nothing  that  is  impreg- 
nable. Under  these  conditions,  semen  may  be 
deposited  in  the  womb  without  danger  of  impreg- 
nation. This  is  a  simple  proposition,  and  easy  to 
understand  if  once  known. 

However,  it  must  be  said  that  these  generally 
common  conditions  do  not  always  obtain — that  is, 
they  are  not  true  in  the  case  of  all  women.     There 


Sane  Sex  Living  103 

are  women  who  will  conceive  at  any  time  in  the 
month,  if  they  are  given  a  chance  to  do  so.  The 
physiological  reason  for  such  possibility  is  said  to 
be  this:  There  are  always  ova  in  the  ovaries,  in 
varying  stages  of  development.  Ordinarily,  only 
once  a  month  do  any  of  these  pass  down  into  the 
womb;  but,  in  exceptional  cases,  sometimes  these 
ova  are  so  partially  held  in  the  ovaries  that,  under 
the  excitement  of  coitus,  and  because  all  these 
parts  dilate  so  much  during  the  act,  an  ovum 
may  slip  its  moorings,  under  such  conditions,  pass 
down  into  the  uterus  at  an  untimely  season,  meet 
the  semen  there,  and  pregnancy  result.  Such  are 
the  facts  in  some  cases. 

How,  then,  can  a  husband  and  wife  tell  how 
it  is,  or  will  be,  in  their  particular  case? 

The  answer  is  that  they  can  only  tell  by  trying, 
and  that  should  be  done  as  follows: 

The  first  sexual  meeting  of  the  bride  and  groom 
should  never  take  place  until  at  least  ten  days 
after  the  ceasing  of  the  menstrual  flow  in  the  bride! 
This  is  a  rule  that  should  never  be  violated  if  the 
parties  wish  to  "test  out"  the  real  condition  as  to 
whether  or  not  the  bride  has  any  "free  time." 
The  chances  are  several  to  one  that  she  has  such 
leeway;  but  the  fact  can  only  be  established  by 
"proving  up"  and  this  can  never  be  done  if  any 
chances  are  taken.  Put  this  downas  rule  number  one. 

For  this  reason,  it  is  well  for  the  bride  to  fix 
the  wedding  day;  and,  if  possible,  for  her  to  locate 
it  sometime  during  the  probably  immune  period. 


104  Sane  Sex  Life 

And  the  nearer  she  can  bring  this  day  to  the 
beginning  of  such  period  of  freedom  from  danger 
of  pregnancy,  the  better.  For,  if  it  should  happen 
that  the  first  coitus  should  take  place  only  a  day 
or  two  before  the  time  when  another  "monthly" 
was  due,  such  excitement  might  hasten  the  pas- 
sage of  the  nearly-ripe  ovum  into  the  uterus,  and 
conception  might  occur.  In  which  case,  "all  the 
fat  would  be  in  the  fire,"  nothing  would  be  proved, 
and  the  parties  would  be  as  ignorant  as  ever  re- 
garding the  facts  in  their  case. 

And  so,  the  first  sexual  meeting  of  a  bride  and 
bridegroom  should  be  not  earlier  than  ten  days  after 
the  ceasing  of  the  menstral  flow  and  not  later  than 
three  days  before  the  next  monthly  is  due.  Put  that 
down  as  rule  number  two,  never  to  be  violated. 

And  if  marriage  takes  place  before  this  period 
of  probable  immunity  on  the  part  of  the  bride 
arrives,  the  only  safe  thing  to  do  is  to  'patiently 
wait"  till  such  time  arrives.  This  may  "require 
fortitude"  on  the  part  of  both  parties,  but  it  is 
the  only  safe  thing  to  do.  And  to  do  just  that, 
will  amply  repay  such  waiting.  The  writer  knows 
of  a  case  where  the  wedding  took  place  just  three 
days  before  the  bride's  next  monthly  was  due,  and 
she  and  her  husband  waited  for  more  than  two 
weeks  before  they  met  sexually!  But  it  paid  to 
wait,  for  their  doing  so  proved  that  the  bride  had 
tiro  weehs  of  "free  time"  in  each  month,  and  this 
was  worth  all  if  cost  to  find  out!     Take  time! 

And  now  let  it  be  added  that  it  is  a  great 


Sane  Sex  Living  105 

accomplishment  for  a  husband  and  wife  to  be  free 
from  a  fear  of  pregnancy  as  a  result  of  coitus. 
This  is  a  thousand  times  truer  for  the  woman  than 
for  the  man,  for  it  is  she  who  has  to  bear  the  burden 
of  what  follows,  if  following  there  be.  The  hus- 
band can  "do  the  deed"  and  go  about  his  business. 
The  wife,  if  "the  fertile  seed"  takes  root,  has 
before  her  months  of  care  and  anxiety,  and  she 
risks  her  very  life  in  what  may  come  of  it  all.  For 
these  reasons,  she  has  a  right  to  dictate  all  the  terms 
which  are  liable  to  cause  her  to  become  a  mother. 
And  yet  she  should  do  this  with  full  regard  for  the 
husband,  in  love,  in  true  wifely-womanhood.  On 
this  point,  do  not  fail  to  read  "The  Helpmate," 
by  May  Sinclair.  It  is  a  story  that  no  bride  and 
bridegroom  should  fail  to  read  and  study,  care- 
fully. 

The  whole  subject  of  how  to  engage  in  satis- 
factory coitus  and  avoid  pregnancy  may  be  sum- 
med up  as  follows: — The  attainment  of  such  a 
condition  is  well  worth  the  most  careful,  earnest 
and  honestly  pains-taking  endeavor.  For,  if  such 
status  be  not  reached,  its  lack  will  be  a  source  of 
endless  contentions  and  differences  between  the 
husband  and  wife.  It  will  lead  to  jealousies, 
quarrels,  and  all  sorts  of  marital  woes.  But,  the 
situation  once  mastered,  by  the  most  loving  and 
accurate  of  scientific  methods  of  proceedure,  a 
happy  married  life  is  certain  to  result.  Other- 
wise, the  "married  state"  will  always  be  in  a 
condition  of  "unstable  equilibrium. "     So  let  every 


106  Sane  Sex  Life 

bride  and  bridegroom  begin,  from  the  first,  to  try 
to  establish  the  greatly  to  be  desired  accomplish- 
ment. If  anything  further  on  this  point  should 
be  desired,  consult  a  reliable  physician. 


vm 

THE    ART    OF    LOVE 

AND  still  there  is  more  to  be  said!  Is  it  not 
written  that  "Art  is  long!"  And  the  Art  of 
Love  is  the  longest  of  all  arts,  and  the  most  difficult 
of  all  for  its  complete  mastery  and  attainment! 

It  is  a  matter  of  misfortune,  and  yet  one  of  not 
infrequent  occurrence,  that  the  sex  organs  of  hus- 
band and  wife  are  not  well  matched;  and  that 
trouble,  sometimes  of  a  most  serious  nature,  re- 
sults. When  this  condition  is  found  to  exist,  it 
should  be  treated  sanely  and  wisely,  and  the 
chances  are  many  to  one  that  the  difficulty  can 
be  overcome,  to  the  full  satisfaction  of  both  parties 
concerned. 

\  In  such  cases,  the  mis-matching  usually  arises 
from  the  fact  that  the  penis  of  the  husband  is  too 
long  for  the  vagina  of  the  wife.  This  is  very  apt 
to  be  the  case  where  the  wife  is  of  the  "dumpy" 
sort,  with  a  small  mouth  and  short  fingers,  while 
the  husband  is  "gangling,"  large  mouthed  and 
long  fingered.  These  are  facts  that  ought  to  be 
taken  into  account  before  narriage,  and  which 
should  figure  in  determining  whether  the  parties 
are  "suited"  to  each  other.  They  would  be  re- 
garded in  this  way,  too,    if  they  were  generally 

107 


108  Sane  Sex  Life 

known,  as  they  most  surely  are  not.  Here  is 
another  place  where  ignorance  and  "innocence" 
get  in  their  work,  and  make  trouble  in  married 
life! 

In  such  a  case  as  this,  the  too-long  penis, 
when  fully  inserted  in  the  too-short  vagina,  and 
especially  when,  at  the  orgasm,  the  two  organs  are 
crowded  together  vigorously,  as  the  impulse  of 
both  parties  demands  they  should  be  at  this  part 
of  the  act,  the  end  of  the  penis  is  driven  against 
the  rear  walls  of  the  vagina,  often  furiously,  thus 
stretching  and  straining  the  vaginal  passage  longi- 
tudinally, pressing  against  the  womb  unnaturally, 
and  not  infrequently  pushing  it  out  of  place  and 
sometimes  rupturing  the  uterine  tract  seriously, 
hence  causing  all  sorts  of  unfortunate  and  greatly- 
to-be-regretted  results. 

Because  of  such  danger,  the  first  meeting  of  the 
husband  and  wife  should  be  accomplished  with 
the  utmost  care,  especially  in  the  second  part  of 
the  act,  the  first  putting  together  of  the  organs. 
This  is  the  only  way  of  determining,  in  each  case, 
how  the  organs  will  "fit,"  and  happy  are  the 
parties  thereto  if  such  fit  is  found  to  be  perfect! 

But  if  it  should  turn  out  that  there  is  a  mis- 
matching, of  the  nature  just  described,  the  con- 
ditions can  be  adjusted  if  the  right  means  are  used. 

(Before  telling  this,  however,  it  should  be  stated 
that  the  relative  size  of  the  sex  organs  can  never 
be  fully  judged  of  by  the  size  of  the  body  of  a 
man  or  a  woman.     Many  a  small  man  has  an  ab- 


Sane  Sex  Living  109 

normally  large  and  long  penis,  and  many  a  little 
woman  has  a  large  vulva  and  a  long  vagina;  and 
the  reverse  of  all  this  is  true,  in  the  case  of  many 
men  and  women.  These  items  in  the  count  are 
among  the  things  that  can  never  be  known  with 
certainty  except  by  actual  trial,  and  this  is  not 
possible,  as  things  are  now). 

And  so,  if  "mis-matching"  is  found  to  exist, 
in  any  given  case,  it  can  be  provided  for,  in 
most  cases  as  follows: 

Instead  of  taking  the  position  for  coitus  which 
has  already  been  described — the  women  on  her 
back  and  the  man  over  and  above  her — let  this 
be  done:  Let  the  man  lie  on  his  left  side,  or  partly 
on  his  left  side  and  partly  on  his  back,  facing  the 
woman,  his  left  leg  drawn  up  so  that  the  thigh 
makes  an  angle  of  45  degrees  with  the  body,  and 
the  knee  bent  at  about  the  same  angle.  Now  let 
her,  lying  on  her  right  side,  mount  into  his  arms, 
in  this  way:  Let  her  place  her  right  hip  in  the 
angle  made  by  her  husband's  left  thigh  and  his 
body,  so  that  his  left  leg  supports  her  hips,  by  being 
under  them;  put  her  right  leg  between  his  legs, 
throw  her  left  leg  over  his  right  leg,  put  her  right 
arm  around  his  neck,  and  her  left  arm  should  be 
placed  across  his  body  under  his  right  arm.  His 
left  arm  should  be  placed  around  her  waist  from 
below,  and  his  right  arm  left  free  to  move  over  her 
body,  as  he  may  choose.  Now  in  this  position, 
the  man's  hips  make  a  sort  of  saddle  into  which  the 
woman  "vaults"  easily,  naturally,  and  with  the 


110  Sane  Sex  Life 

greatest  of  comfort;  while  the  man,  with  his  whole 
body  supported  by  the  bed,  as  he  lies,  will  be  per- 
fectly comfortable,  and  can  maintain  the  position 
much  longer,  without  tiring,  than  he  could  were 
he  over  and  above  the  woman,  supporting  himself 
by  his  elbows  and  knees,  and  with  the  woman's 
arms  around  his  waist,  lifting  her  body  thereby, 
and  thus  adding  her  weight  to  his,  all  to  be  sus- 
tained by  him.  A  moment's  consideration  will 
disclose  the  fact  that  this  position  has  many 
points  in  its  favor,  beyond  that  of  the  man-superior 
form.  The  woman,  in  this  position,  is  not  wholly 
superior,  but  she  is  partly  on  her  right  side  and 
partly  on  her  belly.  Her  whole  weight  rests  on 
her  husband's  body,  but  her  weight  does  not  tire 
him,  as  the  bed  below  him  easily  supports  them 
both. 

Now,  in  this  position,  the  sex  organs  are  brought 
closely  together  and  their  union  is  easily  accom- 
plished. But,  see!  It  is  now  the  woman,  and  not 
the  man  who  has  full  control  of  such  meeting,  and 
so  can  regulate  it  to  her  liking,  or  needs.  Her  hips 
are  perfectly  free  to  move  towards,  or  from,  those 
of  the  man;  and  so  she  can  determine  just  how  much 
or  hcnv  little  of  his  penis  shall  enter  her  vagina!  And 
if  his  penis  is  too  long  for  her,  she  can  accommodate 
her  action  to  such  fact! 

As  for  the  man,  his  satisfaction  will  be  fully 
equal  to,  if  not  greater  than  it  would  be  were  he 
in  the  other  position.  The  ease  afforded  to  his 
body,  and  the  fact  that  he  need  have  no  fear  of 


Sane  Sex  Living  111 

hurting  the  woman,  these  things  will  be  a  delight 
to  him,  that  is  of  real  value,  and  which  will  make 
for  his  delectation  as  much  as  for  that  of  the 
woman  in  his  arms.  The  in-and-out  motion  is  as 
easily  performed  in  this  position  as  in  the  other; 
and  at  the  climax,  the  organs  can  be  crowded  to- 
gether passionately,  and  still  without  hurting  the 
woman  For  she,  being  free  to  move,  can  so 
curve  her  hips  that  the  pelvic  bone,  the  mons 
veneris,  as  it  is  technically  called,  will  receive  the 
most  of  the  pressure,  and  at  the  same  time  the 
angle  which  is  thus  made  by  the  relative  positions 
of  the  vagina  and  the  penis  will  keep  the  latter 
from  penetrating  the  vagina  too  far,  and  so  will 
protect  its  rear  walls  and  the  womb  from  all 
danger  of  harm.  The  orgasm  is  just  as  perfect 
in  this  position  as  in  the  other.  It  is  just  as 
natural  as  the  other  position,  and  has  only  to  be 
tried  to  be  proved  worthy. 

And  now  one  other  point.  (Curious  how  these 
details  protract  themselves.  But  there  is  no  help 
for  it.  We  must  continue,  now  that  we  have 
begun.) 

A  very  frequent  cause  of  married  unsatisf action 
is  the  fact  of  the  difference  of  time  that  it  takes  for 
the  husband  and  wife  to  come  to  the  climax,  the 
orgasm.  As  has  already  been  noted,  the  highest 
delight  in  the  act  comes  when  this  climax  is  simul- 
taneous, comes  at  exactly  the  same  instant  to  both 
parties.  But  to  bring  this  about  is  not  easy  in 
all  cases,  and  hence  what  follows: 


112  Sane  Sex  Life 

As  a  rule,  women  are  slower  in  reaching  the 
orgasm  than  are  men.  This  is  not  always  so,  but  it 
is  generally  the  case.  Some  wives  are  so  passion- 
ate that  they  will  "spend"  several  times  to  their 
husbands  once!  The  author  knows  of  a  case 
where  the  wife  will  regularly  experience  the  orgasm 
four  or  five  times  to  her  husband's  once.  She  is  a 
lovely  wife  and  a  highly  accomplished  woman,  in 
no  sense  "fleshy"  or  "worldly  minded."  The 
situation  is  that  her  sex  organs  are  exceedingly 
sensitive  while  those  of  her  husband  are  the  re- 
verse, they  are  "timed"  differently,  that  is  all. 
The  case  is  rare,  and  as  a  rule,  women  are  "timed" 
slower  than  men. 

Again,  after  a  man  has  passed  the  orgasm  it  is, 
in  most  cases,  impossible  for  him  to  continue  the 
act,  right  then  and  there,  and  bring  the  woman 
to  the  climax,  if  she  has  not  yet  arrived,  from  the 
fact  that,  with  the  expulsion  of  the  semen,  usually 
detumescence  of  the  penis  at  once  takes  place,  and 
the  organ  is  incapable  of  exciting  the  woman  when 
in  this  condition.  And  so,  if  the  husband  "goes 
off"  first,  there  is  no  possibility  of  the  wife's 
reaching  the  climax  at  that  embrace.  This  leaves 
her  unsatisfied,  all  her  sex  organs  congested,  and 
the  whole  situation  is  unsatisfactory,  in  the  ex- 
treme. On  the  other  hand,  if  the  wife  comes  to 
the  orgasm  first,  her  vulva  and  vagina  detumesce 
but  little  and  that  very  slowly,  so  that  it  is  per- 
fectly possible  for  the  husband  to  continue  his 


Sane  Sex  Living  113 

action,  and  come  to  the  climax,  even  if  his  partner 
has  already  "spent." 

Under  these  conditions  it  is  easy  to  see  that, 
where  the  wife  is  "keyed"  or  "timed"  much 
slower  than  her  husband,  as  is  quite  often  the  case, 
coitus  is  very  liable  to  be  a  very  one-sided  affair, 
one  in  which  the  husband  gets  all  the  satisfaction, 
and  the  wife  little  or  NONE — a  most  unfortunate 
status  for  both  parties,  but  especially  for  the  wife. 
The  writer  once  knew  a  case  where  a  husband  and 
wife  lived  together  to  celebrate  their  golden  wed- 
ding, and  the  wife  never  once  experienced  an 
orgasm,  though  the  husband  cohabited  with  her 
several  times  a  month,  during  the  most  of  their 
married  life.  There  was  no  good  reason  why  this 
should  have  been  so,  only  that  the  husband  was 
"quick  in  action"  and  the  wife  somewhat  slow, 
and  they  had  never  synchronated  their  time  differ- 
ences. The  dear  old  lady  died  at  ninety,  never 
having  known  a  joy  that,  since  her  bridal  night, 
she  had  wished  for.  Both  the  husband  and  wife 
were  most  excellent  people.  They  simply  didn't 
know!  One  was  ignorant  and  the  other  innocent, 
and  there  you  are  again! 

Now  the  thing  to  do,  under  such  circumstances, 
is  for  the  parties  to  "get  together. "  Ard  the  way 
to  do  this  is,  first,  to  prolong  the  FIRST  part  of  the 
act,  till  the  wife  has  not  only  caught  up  with,  but 
is  even  ahead  of  her  husband  in  the  state  of  her 
passion.  To  bring  about  this  condition,  the  hus- 
band should  use  every  means  to  stimulate  his  wife's 


114  Sane  Sex  Life 

sex-nature  and  increase  her  desire  for  coition.  Here 
are  some  things  he  can  do,  which  will  tend  to 
produce  such  results: 

A  woman's  breasts  are  directly  connected  with 
all  her  reproductive  nerves.  This  is  especially 
true  of  her  nipples.  To  touch  them  is  to  directly 
excite  all  of  her  sex  organs.  The  lips  and  tongue 
are  also  thus  nervously  connected  with  these  vital 
parts,  and  so,  if  the  husband  will  "play"  with 
his  wife's  breasts,  especially  with  her  nipples, 
manipulating  them  with  his  fingers,  or,  better 
still,  with  his  lips  and  tongue — at  the  same  time, 
if  he  will  stroke  her  vulva  with  his  fingers,  especi- 
ally the  clitoris,  and  if  she  will  encourage  him  to  do 
this,  by  holding  her  breast  with  one  hand,  shaking 
it  about  as  her  nipple  is  in  her  lover's  lips;  if,  lying 
flat  on  her  back,  her  husband  at  her  right  side, 
and  with  his  left  arm  around  her  waist,  she  will 
spread  her  legs  wide  apart,  thus  opening  the  vulva 
to  its  utmost,  and  sway  her  hips,  raising  and 
lowering  them  betimes;  and,  since  she  has  a  free 
hand,  if,  with  this,  she  will  take  her  husband's 
penis  with  it  and  "play"  with  it  as  her  lover  plays 
with  her  vulva — if  they  will  do  this,  the  cases  are 
rare  in  which  passion  will  not  grow  in  the  wife  to 
almost  any  desirable  extent.  Under  such  "court- 
ing," the  parts  will  all  enlarge,  the  pre-coital 
secretion  will  flow  in  abundance;  and,  in  due 
course,  all  will  be  ready  for  the  second  part  of  the 
act.  This  part  of  coitus  is,  really,  one  of  the  most 
enjoyable  of  the  entire  performance. 


Sane  Sex  Living  115 

If,  perchance,  the  pre-coital  secretion  should 
be  tardy  in  appearing  on  the  part  of  the  wife,  so 
that  the  vulva  is  dry  as  the  husband  strokes  it, 
let  him  moisten  the  parts  with  saliva  from  his 
mouth.  To  do  this,  let  him  moisten  his  fingers 
from  his  mouth,  and  transfer  this  to  the  vulva, 
and  then  proceed  with  his  stroking.  This  mois- 
tening the  vulva  with  saliva  may  be  repeated 
several  times,  if  necessary,  always  until  the  flow  of 
pre-coital  fluid  from  the  parts  themselves  renders 
any  further  moistening  needless.  The  stroking  of 
the  dry  vulva  will  do  little  toward  the  arousing  of 
passion,  or  producing  the  pre-coital  flow.  But  if 
the  parts  be  moistened,  as  above  directed,  both 
these  desired  results  will  follow,  except  in  very 
rare  cases. 

And  let  no  one  make  the  mistake  of  thinking 
that  thus  moistening  the  vulva  with  saliva  is 
unseemly,  or  unsanitary.  It  is  neither.  On  the 
contrary,  it  is  nature's  way  of  helping  to  perfection 
an  act  which,  but  for  such  timely  assistance,  might 
never  be  brought  to  a  successful  issue.  As  has 
already  been  noted,  chemically,  saliva  and  the 
pre-coital  fluid  are  almost  identical.  They  are 
both  a  natural  secretion  of  a  mucus  membrane, 
are  alkaline  in  reaction,  their  native  purpose  is 
lubrication,  and,  as  a  matter  of  fact,  the  saliva  is 
as  natural  an  application  to  the  lips  of  the  vulva 
as  it  is  to  the  interior  of  the  mouth  or  throat. 
Truth  to  tell,  the  practice  of  applying  saliva  to 
the  genitals  before  coition  is  very  general,  so  much 


116  Sane  Sex  Life 

so  that  it  might  almost  be  counted  as  instinctive. 
It  is  mentioned  here  only  to  remove  any  prejudice 
that  might  linger  in  the  sophisticated  mind  of  the 
reader.  Such  use  of  saliva  is  no  more  to  be  depre- 
cated than  its  application  in  a  hundred  other  ways, 
such  as  moistening  the  fingers  to  turn  a  leaf,  or 
"licking"  ones  fingers  after  eating  candy.  Such 
use  of  this  fluid  from  the  mouth  might  be  con- 
demned by  the  "over-nice,"  but  it  is  quite  uni- 
versally practiced,  and  it  is  neither  unwholesome, 
or  unsanitary. 

It  is  sometimes  recommended  that  some  form 
of  oil,  as  sweet  oil  or  vaseline,  be  used  as  an  unguent 
for  anointing  the  parts  before  engaging  in  coitus, 
but  this  practice  cannot  be  recommended.  Oil  is 
not  a  natural  product  of  the  parts  to  which  it  is 
applied,  it  is  chemically  unlike  their  secretions, 
and  to  smear  the  delicate  organs  with  a  fluid  that 
is  foreign  to  their  nature,  is  unwise,  unsanitary, 
not  to  say  filthy.  It  is  like  greasing  the  mouth 
to  make  food  slip  down  easily.  And  it  is  easy  to 
understand  how  such  application  of  an  unguent 
to  the  mouth  would  impair  the  taste,  dull  the 
nerves  of  sensation,  and  greatly  interfere  with  the 
native  and  wholesome  uses  of  the  oral  cavity. 

So  don't  be  afraid  or  ashamed  to  use  saliva  in 
preparing  the  vulva  and  the  vagina  for  the  recep- 
tion of  tli  i;  natural  mate. 

And  so,  to  return  to  where  we  left  off,  if  the 
wife  is  slower  timed  than  her  husband,  her  passion 
can  be  greatly  increased  by  the  manipulation  just 


Sane  Sex  Living  117 

described.  Indeed,  it  could  be  very  easily  carried 
to  such  length — the  lips  and  tongue  playing  with 
the  nipple,  and  the  finger-stroking  of  the  vulva — 
that  the  woman  could  be  brought  to  an  orgasm 
without  the  union  of  the  organs  at  all!  This  is  a 
form  of  masturbation  (this  word  has  a  bad  mean- 
ing attached  to  it,  but  it  is  a  good  word,  as  will 
shortly  be  shown,  and  it  has  its  legitimate  uses; 
but,  as  a  preparation  for  coition,  it  should  not  be 
carried  any  further  than  is  essential  for  bringing 
the  laggard  passion  of  the  woman  up  to  an  equal 
tension  of  that  of  her  lover.  A  few  weeks',  or 
months'  practice  will  enable  a  wife  to  determine 
just  how  much  of  this  form  of  "courting"  will 
bring  her  to  the  desired  point  of  excitement;  and, 
when  this  point  is  reached,  she  should  invite  her 
husband  to  "come  up  over,"  if  the  first  position 
is  to  be  adopted  for  the  rest  of  the  act;  or,  she 
should  throw  herself  into  her  lover's  arms,  if  the 
second  position  is  used. 

Just  a  little  more — If,  after  getting  into  one 
position  or  the  other,  it  seems  to  the  wife  that  she 
is  not  yet  fairly  abreast  of  her  husband  in  the 
intensity  of  her  passion,  let  her  still  further  seek 
to  advance  it,  as  follows: 

If  the  position  with  the  husband  superior  is 
taken,  let  him,  after  he  has  gotten  into  place  and 
before  the  organs  are  united,  have  his  wife  take 
his  penis  in  her  hand,  and,  as  he  moves  his  hips  up 
and  down,  stroke  her  vulva,  especially  the  clitoris, 
with  the  glans  penis — not  entering  the  vagina  at 


118  Sane  Sex  Life 

once,  but  continuing  this  form  of  exterior  contact 
of  the  organs,  for  a  longer  or  shorter  time —  slipping 
past  the  wide  open  vaginal  mouth,  even  when  the 
wife  raises  her  thighs  and,  as  it  were,  begs  for  an 
entrance;  tantalizing  her  to  the  point  of  distrac- 
tion— till,  finally,  she  will  "take  no  for  an  answer" 
no  longer,  but  will,  in  an  esctacy,  slip  the  penis 
into  the  vagina,  and  thus  consummate  their  union. 

If  she  be  far  enough  abandoned  with  her  passion, 
such  entrance  may  be  made  at  a  single  strong, 
not  to  say  a  furious  plunge.  But  if  the  vulva  and 
vagina  are  not  yet  fully  dilated,  the  entrance 
should  be  carefully  made,  gently  made,  as  she 
can  bear  it,  as  she  wishes  it  to  be. 

Sometimes,  yes,  not  infrequently,  in  this  posi- 
tion, the  external  stroking  of  the  organs  may  be 
continued  to  the  very  verge  of  the  orgasm,  so  that, 
especially  if  the  entrance  can  be  made,  as  it  were, 
in  a  frenzy  of  passionate  delight,  the  organs  com- 
ing into  full  length  union  at  a  single  impulse,  or 
rushing  together — then  the  simultaneous  climax 
may  be  reached  with  one  or  two  in-and-out  motions 
— or,  perhaps  the  single  master-plunge  may  win 
the  goal  instanter!  If  so,  a  consummation  de- 
voutly to  be  wished  has  been  successfully  reached ! 

Again,  if  the  wife  is  slow,  and  the  man  is  quick, 
in  this  play  for  'getting  together,"  it  will  enable 
the  man  to  greatly  extend  and  protract  what 
might  be  called  the  time  of  his  possible  retention, 
if  he  can  keep  the  foreskin  over  the  glans  penis. 
Some  men  cannot  do  this.     If  they  have  been 


Sane  Sex  Living  119 

circumcised,  of  course  they  cannot!  But  if  the 
glans  penis  can  be  covered  with  the  foreskin  during 
all  this  playing  together,  it  will  enable  the  husband 
to  prolong  his  "retentional  time"  far  beyond  what 
he  otherwise  could.  Some  men  have  the  power 
of  "retaining"  to  almost  any  length  of  time  by 
the  exercise  of  their  will  power,  and  so  they  can 
wait  for  their  wives.  If  the  wife  is  slower  timed 
than  the  husband,  he  should  carefully  cu  tivate  the 
"art  of  retaining"  and  so  wait  for  her.  To  do  this 
successfully  will  greatly  increase  married  happiness. 

This  same  remark  (keeping  the  gland  covered) 
applies  with  equal  force  to  the  possibilities  of  the 
man's  retention  after  the  organs  are  united,  and 
all  through  the  third  part  of  the  act.  If  the  penis 
can  enter  the  vagina  with  its  "natural  cap  on," 
the  husband  can  give  his  wife  the  pleasure  of  many 
times  the  amount  of  in-and-out  motion  than  he 
could  otherwise  bestow  upon  her.  And  if  the  wife 
is  the  slower  of  the  two  (as  is  generally  the  case)  she 
will  greatly  appreciate  such  a  favor,  and  will  re- 
pay it  a  thousand  fold  by  the  responsive,  recipro- 
cal motions  which  she  will  lavish  upon  her  con- 
siderate lover. 

This  is  an  item  of  almost  supreme  importance 
— this  "keeping  the  cap  on"  the  penis,  during  the 
act,  if  the  wife  is  slower  han  the  husband — if  they 
need  to  have  a  care,  to  insure  their  "getting  off 
together. " 

And  here  is  a  curious  fact,  which  would  seem 
to  show  that  Mother  Nature  has  especially  pro- 


120  Sane  Sex  Life 

vidcd  a  blissful  reward  for  both  the  husband  and 
wife  who  will  be  careful  on  this  point.  Thus,  if 
the  husband  will  be  careful  to  have  the  glans 
penis  covered  with  the  foreskin  (and,  of  course, 
this  can  ncrvi  be,  if  the  organs  are  united  when  the 
vulva  and  vagina  are  dry)  when  it  enters  the 
vagina,  and  will  so  engage  in  the  in-and-out 
motion  that  it  will  stay  coven  d  as  the  third  act 
progresses — if  this  is  done,  when  the  climax  comes, 
;f  the  two  'spend  together,'  the  womb  will  open 
its  mouth  as  t  were,  clasp  the  foreskin,  slip  it 
back  over  the  gland  so  that  when  the  supreme 
instant  comes,  the  naked  gland  will  be  in  the  most 
direct  and  blissful  contact  with  the  most  sensitive 
part  of  the  uterus!  This  is  a  most  wonderful 
provision  of  nature,  and  to  utilize  it.  and  enjoy 
it  to  its  utmost,  is  the  maximum  of  human  delight! 
Again,  if  after  the  organs  are  well  together, 
in  the  man-superior  position,  and  the  in-and-out 
motion  has  begun,  it  shou  d  be  found  that  the 
wife  is  stili  behind  in  the  game,  she  can  gain  greatly 
in  ''catching  up  '  if  she  is  permitted  to  originate 
the  larger  part  of  the  motion.  To  enable  her  to 
do  this,  let  her  husband  hold  his  body  quite  well 
above  her,  so  that  she  can  have  plenty  of  freedom 
to  move  her  hips  as  she  may  choose  to.  Added 
to  this,  if  the  husband  will,  in  large  measure, 
"hold  si  ill,"  and  keep  his  penis  in  such  position 
that  it  presses  against  the  upper  part  of  the  vulva, 
that  is  against  the  clitoris,  (as  the  phrase  goes,  if 
he  will  "ride  high")  and  then  permit  his  ivife  to 


Sane  Sex  Living  121 

make  "long  strokes,'  sliding  the  organs  together 
for  their  full  possible  length,  with  the  clitoris  in 
constant  contact  with  the  penis,  during  the  whole 
of  each  stroke — all  ot  this  will  greatly  and  rapidly 
increase  her  passions  and  bring  her  to  the  climax. 

Or,  as  a  variation  from  this,  if  the  organs  can 
be  united  to  their  fullest  possible  limit,  so  that 
the  base  of  the  penis  presses  firmly  against  the 
Mons  Veneris,  and  the  clitoris  and  labiae  almost 
c'asp  their  mate;  and  then,  in  this  posit 'on,  if  the 
husband  will  maintain  the  stalus  quo,  while  she  lifts 
her  hips  hard  against  his,  and  swings  ihem  about, 
in  a  sort  of  circular  motion  "round  and  round," 
as  it  were — this  will  also  greatly  increase  her 
passion,  and  soon  bring  her  to  the  climax. 

In  both  these  last  described  ways  of  courting, 
the  husband  should  be  extra  careful  not  to  permit 
the  weight  of  his  body  to  press  down  heavily  upon 
his  wife.  He  should  wholly  sustain  himself  on  his 
elbows  and  knees,  and  permit  her  to  lift  herself,  at 
least  her  hips,  by  the  help  of  her  arms  around  his 
waist.  This  is  no  hardship  for  the  husband,  if 
he  be  a  true  lover.  For  is  he  not  strong,  and  what 
is  his  strength  for  but  to  delight  his  sweetheart? 
A  true,  devoted,  virile  and  manly  lover  is  always  at 
the  service  of  his  sweetheart:  To  delight  her,  is  to 
doubly  delight  himself.  This  is  another  point  of 
which  mere  animals  know  nothing.  There  is 
nothing  in  all  their  nature  which  responds  to  the 
like  of  this,  in  any  way.  The  whole  experience 
is  human;  it  is  productive  of  a  joy,  of  a  spiritual 


122  Sane  Sex  Life 

elevation,  which  mere  animality  knows  nothing  of — 
can  know  nothing  of. 

Playing  thus  together,  courting  each  other 
thus  (For,  through  all  these  actions,  a  line  of  com- 
plete mutualness  must  run!  The  husband  may 
seem  to  be  specially  accommodating  himself,  and 
all  he  does,  to  his  wife's  whims  or  necessities;  but, 
even  so,  this  will  be  more  of  a  delight  to  him  than 
it  is  to  Iter,  viewed  from  the  spiritual  plane,  on  the 
principle  that  "it  is  more  blessed  to  give  than  to 
receive" — and  no  truer  words  than  these  were  ever 
spoken — while,  at  the  same  time,  the  wife,  though 
seeming  only  to  be  gratifying  herself,  to  be  reach- 
ing after  what  she  alone  desires,  yet,  as  a  matter 
of  fact,  by  her  very  so  doing — and  the  more  per- 
fectly, completely,  she  does  this,  the  better — she 
is  gratifying  and  delighting  her  husband  to  the 
utmost  possible  limit;  courting  each  other  thus, 
the  lovers  will  learn  to  "time"  themselves  to- 
gether, perfectly,  each  knowing  just  when  the 
other  is  fully  ready,  by  a  sort  of  .spiritual  conscious- 
ness, as  it  were,  and  so  a  perfect  climax  can  be 
reached. 

Take  time,  let  love  rule  and  direct;  BANISH 
all  selfishness;  Let  the  husband  keep  his  head, 
and  the  wife  utterly  lose  hers,  throwing  it  to 
the  winds,  to  be  wholly  swept  away  by  the  whirl- 
wind of  her  passion;  feeling  free,  delighting,  to  let 
it  go,  go,  go,  no  one  cares  where !  Do  these  things, 
and  married  life  will  be  glorious!  Of  such  is  the 
kingdom  of  heaven,  for  the  truly  wedded  lovers! 


Sane  Sex  Living  123 

This  will  be  "all  Greek,"  or  "foolishness"  to 
the  selfish  and  materially-minded;  but  to  the  truly 
wise,  it  will  be  life  immeasurable.  This  is  a  para- 
dox, but  it  takes  a  paradox  to  tell  the  greatest 
truths ! 

So  much  for  the  act  of  coitus  in  the  man- 
superior  position,  when  the  wife  is  slower  timed 
than  the  husband  and  they  adopt  this  method, 
and  the  accompanying  means  for  "getting  to- 
gether." Now,  if  the  other  position  is  taken, 
that  of  the  wife  semi-superior,  iu  the  husband's 
arms,  as  he  lies  partly  on  his  back  and  partly  on 
his  left  side,  etc.,  here  are  a  few  points  to  be  noted 
to  advantage. 

Still  assuming  that  the  wife  is  the  slower-timed 
of  the  two,  it  is  entirely  possible  that  when  she  has 
"come  over"  and  has  gotten  into  position,  that 
she  may  not  yet  be  fully  ready  for  the  union  of  the 
organs.  The  very  time  that  it  takes  for  her  to  get 
into  position,  the  changing  of  the  position  of  her 
body,  from  her  back  to  her  right  side;  the  tempor- 
ary cessation  of  the  stroking  of  the  vulva  by  her 
husband's  fingers;  all  these  things  will  have  a 
tendency  to  retard  her  passion,  for  the  time  being, 
and  all  this  loss  ought  to  be  made  good,  if  not 
added  to,  before  the  second  part  of  the  act  is  en- 
tered upon.  And,  in  this  position,  all  this  can 
most  happily  be  brought  about,  as  follows : — 

Lying  in  each  others  arms,  in  this  second 
described  position,  the  organs  naturally  come  into 
contact  in  such  a  way  as  to  make  the  further  excita- 


124  Sane  Sex  Life 

tion  of  the  vulva  and  clitoris  most  natural  and 
easy.  The  spreading  of  the  wife's  hips,  caused 
by  her  throwing  her  left  leg  over  her  husband's 
right  and  drawing  up  of  her  left  knee,  opens  the 
vulva  wide;  and,  at  the  same  time,  the  penis,  from 
the  very  nature  of  its  position,  will  lie  at  full 
length  in  the  opening,  thus  exposed — not  entering 
the  vagina,  but  remaining  "without  the  gate"  as 

yet. 

By  this  time  the  vulva  w  11  have  become  en- 
larged and  elongated,  the  lips  full  and  the  clitoris 
erect,  all  in  a  state  of  tumescence,  and  all  covered 
with  the  pre-coital  fluid;  the  lips  so  distended 
that,  when  thus  parted,  they  form  the  sides  of  a 
labial  canal,  as  it  were  (a  delectable,  and  most 
delicately  smooth-walled  channel).  Now,  in  this 
extended  condition,  which  is  fully  as  long  as  the 
penis,  from  end  to  end  of  its  pathway  of  dalliance, 
every  part  covered  with  the  most  delicately  sensi- 
tive nerve-filaments,  and  all  of  these  in  an  ecstacy 
of  keenness  to  the  sense  of  touch,  and  in  the  most 
perfect  of  "love's  strolling  way," — if  the  penis, 
as  it  were  stands  up  full  and  strong,  in  such  fashion 
that  it  touches  the  vulva  at  every  point,  both  inner 
and  outer  labiae,  the  clitoris  and  all,  for  a  space 
of  five  or  six  inches  in  length;  while  the  protruded 
and  well-moistened  lips  of  the  vulva  as  it  were 
reach  out.  and  clasp  themselves  at  least  half  way 
around  their  suitor,  laving  him  with  their  luscious 
kisses — in  this  position,  the  wife  being  partly 
above,  and  so,  perfectly  free  to  move  her  "love 


Sane  Sex  Living  125 

way"  as  she  will,  she  can  slide  the  pathway  itself 
a  full  six  or  more  inches,  up  and  down,  stroking 
all  the  area  against  the  penis  as  she  moves;  that, 
again,  by  its  very  position,  being  held  firmly  in 
contact  by  its  stiffness  and  stoutness;  the  glans 
penis  throbbing  lustily  against  the  clitoris  when  the 
two  meet  at  the  extreme  of  the  wife's  up-stroke; 
she,  pausing  an  instant,  just  then,  to  more  per- 
fectly enjoy  the  sensation;  the  penis  slipping  past 
the  now  wide  open  vaginal  mouth,  which  reaches 
out  at  every  down  stroke  to  engulf  it — dallying, 
tting,  tantalizing,  both  man  and 
women;  playing  the  game  in  almost  a  swoon  of 
ecstatic  delight — under  such  conditions  the  wife's 
passion  will  rush  to  its  fullest  development,  till, 
when  she  will,  she  can  drop  her  vagina  upon  the 
penis  in  such  a  way  that  the  two  will  be  made  one, 
in  absolute  perfection,  on  a  single  move,  and  from 
this  to  the  finish  it  is  but  a  few  motions  distant. 

In  some  respects  this  manner  of  coitus,  and  this 
means  of  "going  off  together"  is  unsurpassed. 

Which  leads  to  the  remark  that  this  position 
is  sometimes  the  best  for  the  full  completion  of  the 
act.  It  is  the  easiest  of  all  positions,  the  least 
fatiguing.  And  if  the  wife  is  tired,  or  not  quite 
"up  to  grade,"  she  can  enjoy  an  embrace  of  this 
sort  without  fatigue,  even  to  the  full.  For  the 
organs  can  be  united  in  this  position  quite  perfect- 
ly, though  the  penis  will  not  penetrate  the  vagina 
to  as  great  a  length  as  in  the  other  position.  Still, 
the  climax  can  be  perfectly  reached  in  this  way, 


126  Sane  Sex  Life 

and  it  is  one  of  the  best  ways  to  make  sure  of  per- 
fect "timing,"  of  "spending"  exactly  together, 
which  is  greatly  in  its  favor. 

If  there  is  a  mis-matching  of  the  organs,  the 
vagina  of  the  wife  being  too  short  for  her  husband's 
penis,  this  is  a  most  excellent  way  for  meeting  and 
overcoming  that  difficulty. 

This  naturally  leads  to  another  matter,  as 
follows: — It  might  seem  to  the  reader  that  the 
different  "strokings"  of  the  vulva,  with  the  fingers, 
or  the  penis,  all  the  contact  being  outside  the 
vagina,  that  all  of  these  methods  of  excitation 
smack  of  masturbation,  and  so  are  of  doubtful 
Tightness.     In  reply  to  which,  note  the  following: 

The  entire  affair  of  coition,  in  humanity,  has 
already  been  shown  to  be  something  wholly  above 
and  beyond  mere  animal ity.  It  is  the  exercise  of 
functions  that  belong  only  to  mankind,  and  hence 
is  not  amenable  to  any  merely  animal  laws  or 
restrictions !  It  is  the  source  of  numberless  human 
joys,  and  any  method  of  engaging  in  the  act  of 
mutual  delight,  that  is,  of  mutually  huppifyiucj* 
is  legimate  and  altogether  right.  And  so,  if  the 
parties  chose  to  increase  their  mutual  delight,  if 
the  husband  wishes  to  arouse  and  intensify  his 
wife's  passion  by  stroking  her  vulva  with  his 
saliva-moistened  fingers,  and  she  wishes  him  to  do 
so,  such  act  is  as  righl  and  as  wholesome  as  is 
coitus  in  the  hy-sonx --supposed-to-be  only  way  of 
•  Tci.M'.      Let  this  never  be  doubted. 

The  fact  is,  this  whole  matter  of  sexual  excita- 


Sane  Sex  Living  127 

tion  by  means  of  the  hand,  or  in  other  ways  than 
the  union  of  the  organs,  has  received  a  black  eye 
at  the  hands  of  would  be  purists,  which  it  in  no 
way  deserves.  As  already  noted,  the  word  mas- 
turbation has  been  fastened  to  such  acts,  and 
then,  any  and  every  form  of  it  has  been  condemned 
far  beyond  what  the  facts  warrant,  till  the  minds 
of  the  rank  and  file  are  wholly  mis^d  in  the  pre- 
mises! When  one  looks  at  the  situation  from  the 
point  of  view  which  insists  that  all  the  sex  functions 
should  be  under  the  control  of  the  will,  then  light 
is  thrown  upon  the  entire  subject.  Seen  in  this 
way,  any  form  of  sex  stimulation,  or  auto-erotism 
even  (auto-erotism  means  self  sex-excitation)  which 
is  not  carried  to  excess,  is  right  and  wholesomtl 
But  we  have  been  taught  the  contrary  of  this  for 
so  long  that  it  is  difficult  for  us  to  realize  that  it  is 
true.     But  it  is! 

Hence,  if  it  should  sometimes  happen  that  the 
husband  should  arrive  at  the  climax  before  the  wife 
does,  and  he  could  not  bring  her  to  an  orgasm  by 
excitation  with  his  spent  penis,  it  would  be  per- 
fectly right  for  him  to  substitute  his  fingers,  and 
satisfy  her  in  that  way.  Of  course,  this  would  not 
be  as  satisfying  to  her  as  it  would  have  been  could 
she  have  met  him  simultaneously,  but  it  is  far 
better  than  for  her  not  to  be  entirely  gratified!  Many 
a  woman  suffers  all  night  long  with  unsatisfied 
desire,  her  organs  congested  and  tumescent,  because 
she  has  been  left  unsatisfied  by  a  husband  who  has 
spent  before  she  was  ready,  and  then  left  her! 


128  Sane  Sex  Life 

Such  cases  might  be  entirely  relieved,  if  the  parties 
knew  the  truth,  and  were  not  too  ignorant,  or  pre- 
judiced, or  ashamed  to  do  what  should  be  done  to 
make  the  best  of  a  situation. 

Of  course,  no  husband  should  make  a  practice 
of  gratifying  himself  fully,  and  then  bringing  his 
wife  to  the  climax  with  his  fingers.  Such  a  prac- 
tice would  be  selfish  and  wrong.  But  as  an  emer- 
gency way  of  escape,  the  method  is  to  be  commend- 
ed. 

Of  course,  as  has  already  been  explained,  the 
husband  always  has  the  advantage,  that  he  can 
be  brought  to  the  orgasm  by  the  insertion  of  the 
penis  into  the  vagina,  after  his  wife  has  spent,  if 
she  arrives  first,  since  her  organs  detumesee  slowly, 
and  their  distended  condition  permits  such  action 
on  his  part,  for  some  time  after  she  has  passed  the 
climax.  But  not  so  with  the  husband.  Once 
spent,  his  penis  shrinks  to  limpness,  almost  im- 
mediately, and  in  this  condition  it  cannot  satisfy 
the  wife  in  the  least,  much  less  bring  her  to  an 
orgasm. 

Again,  if,  for  any  reason,  the  wife  should  be 
unable  to  meet  her  husband  in  coitus  proper,  be- 
cause of  weakness,  or  slight  illness,  or  perhaps 
some  temporary  soreness  of  the  parts,  it  would 
help  the  situation  wonderfully  if  she  would  take 
his  penis  in  her  hand  and  "play  with  it"  till  he 
spent.  He  would  love  her  for  it,  kiss  her  for  it, 
give  her  his  soul  for  it! 

//  a  bride  and  bridegroom  knew  enough  to  iniro- 


Sane  Sex  Living  129 

duce  each  other  to  the  delights  of  an  orgasm  by  "spend- 
ing" each  other  by  external  excitation  of  the  organs 
with  their  hands  a  few  times  before  they  united  the 
organs  at  all,  it  would  be  to  their  lasting  well  being. 
This  is  especially  true  for  the  bride.  If  her  lover 
would  take  her  in  his  arms,  even  with  all  her 
clothes  on,  as  she  sat  on  his  lap,  in  their  bridal 
chamber,  alone,  and  stroke  her  vulva  till  she 
"spent,  "the  chances  are  many  to  one  that  he  would 
have  introduced  her  to  such  a  joy  that  she  would 
never  forget  it,  all  her  life.  Surely,  such  method 
is  infinitely  superior  to  raping  a  bride,  as  is  so  fre- 
quently done  by  the  ignorant  or  goody-good 
young  husband,  who  "stands  upon  his  rights!" 

Indeed,  if  a  bride  to  be,  who  was  so  innocent 
or  ignorant  of  her  own  sex  possibilities  that  she 
had  never  experienced  an  orgasm — had  never 
"spent" — could  be  "put  wise"  before  her  bridal- 
night,  if  she  could  be  instructed  enough  to  lead 
her  to  engage  in  some  form  of  auto-erotism,  bring- 
ing herself  to  an  orgasm  with  her  own  hand,  just 
for  the  sake  of  the  experience  it  would  give  her,  and 
so  that  she  would  have  some  clear  idea  of  what  she 
really  wanted,  before  she  went  into  the  arms  of  her 
lover — if  she  could  do  this,  in  the  right  mental  attitude, 
it  would  be  greatly  to  her  well-being,  a  worthy  and 
valuable  addition  to  her  stock  of  knowledge  of  herself 
and  of  the  powers  that  are  latent  within  her.  Her 
alleged  loss  of  innocence  by  such  act  would  be  as 
nothing  compared  with  the  wisdom  she  would  gain 
by  the  experience.     When  innocence  leads  to  harm- 


130  Sane  Sex  Life 

Jul  results,  it  is  time  it  was  ended,  and  that  knowledge 
takes  its  place! 

As  for  the  husband,  the  chances  are  not  one  in 
a  million  that  he  will  be  ignorant  of  what  an 
orgasm  is  like  before  he  marries,  since  all  healthy 
young  men  "spend"  at  least  once  a  week,  auto- 
matically, if  not  otherwise! 

Let  it  be  said  further,  that  auto-erotism,  self- 
spending,  may  be  practiced  by  both  men  and 
women,  to  their  healthful  benefit,  when  sexual 
exercise  cannot  be  secured  in  any  other  way.  It 
is  only  when  carried  to  excess  that  such  action  is 
in  any  way  harmful.  The  only  danger  is,  that, 
the  indiviual  being  alone  and  having  all  the 
means  for  self-gratification  in  his  or  her  own  hands, 
so  to  speak,  it  is  quite  possible  to  indulge  in  the 
action  too  freely,  which,  of  course,  leads  to  bad 
results.  But  the  act  itself  is  not  bad.  On  the 
contrary,  when  kept  within  bounds,  it  is  healthful 
and  wholesome. 

There  are  many  unmarried  women,  maiden 
ladies,  and  especially  widows,  who  would  greatly 
improve  their  health  if  they  practiced  some  form 
of  auto-erotism,  occasionally.  When  husbands 
and  wives  are  forced  to  be  much  away  from  each 
other,  it  is  right  for  them  to  occasionally  satisfy 
themselves  in  this  way,  their  souls  filled  with 
loving  thoughts  of  the  absent  one  the  while. 

There  is  any  amount  of  nonsense  current  about 
auto-erotism.  As  a  matter  of  fact,  all  boys  mastur- 
bate, and  many  girls  also.     Some  authors  claim 


Sane  Sex  Living  131 

that  more  than  half  of  all  women  engage  in  some 
form  of  auto-erotism,  at  some  time  in  the'r  lives, 
and  the  estimate  is  probably  too  low  rather  than 
too  high.  But,  unless  they  carry  the  act  to  ex- 
cess, they  are  guilty  of  no  wrong.  Not  infre- 
quently, they  may  make  the  act  a  means  of  great 
good  to  themselves.  The  sex  organs  are  alive! 
They  constantly  secrete  fluids  that  need  to  be  ex- 
creted, as  all  other  organs  of  the  body  do.  They 
ought  to  be  relieved,  as  their  nature  requires  they 
should  be.  If  this  cannot  be  accomplished  as  the 
most  natural  way  prescribes,  it  is  only  right  to  do 
the  next  best  thing.  Only,  it  should  not  be  carried 
to  excess.  Be  temperate  in  all  things.  Gratify 
yourself,  but  don't  abuse  yourself.  Auto-erotism, 
or  masturbation,  should  never  be  permitted  to 
become  "self -abuse,"  nor  is  there  any  need  that 
it  should  ever  do  so.  It  should  be  self -upbuilding, 
not  self  degrading.     Rightly  used  it  can  be  thus. 


IX 

COITUS   RESERVATUS 

THIS  brings  us  to  another  item  in  the  matter  ot 
sexual  exercise  on  the  part  of  the  husband 
and  wife,  as  follows : — 

It  should  be  the  constant  aim  and  endeavor 
of  both  parties  to  continually  lift  all  sex  affairs 
above  the  plane  of  animality,  mere  physical  grati- 
fication, into  the  realm  of  mental  and  spiritual 
delight.  To  this  end,  let  it  be  said  at  once  that 
such  a  condition  can  be  reached,  in  the  greatest 
degree,  by  the  practice  of  what  is  known,  in  scien- 
tific terms,  as  'coitus  reservatus,"  which,  trans- 
lated, means  going  only  part  of  the  way  in  the  act, 
and  not  carrying  it  to  its  climax,  the  orgasm. 
Described  in  terms  with  which  the  reader  is  now 
familiar,  it  means,  carrying  the  act  only  through 
the  first  and  second  stages,  the  "courting"  stage, 
and  the  union  of  the  organs,  and  stopping  there! 
This  may  seem,  at  first  thought,  neither  right  nor 
wise,  but,  as  a  matter  of  fact,  it  is  both,  as  thous- 
ands of  most  happily  married  people  have  proved. 

Going  a  bit  into  details,  this  act  of  "reservatus" 
really  unites  the  first  two  parts  of  the  act  into  a 
common  whole,  making  it  simply  one  continuous 
piece  of  "courting,"  merely  that,  and  nothing 

132 


Sane  Sex  Living  133 

more.  It  is  almost  entirely  a  mental  and  spiritual 
love-embrace;  and  in  its  perfection,  it  exalts  the 
husband  and  wife  to  the  topmost  heights  of  mental 
and  spiritual  enjoyment  and  expression. 

To  engage  in  this  form  of  coitus,  not  nearly  the 
effort  should  be  made  to  arouse  the  sexual  passions 
of  either  of  the  parties,  as  has  already  been  describ- 
ed as  fitting  for  complete  coitus.  The  orgasm  is 
not  the  desideratum  in  this  case,  but  it  is  just  a  de- 
lightful expression  of  mutual  love.  It  is  a  sort  of 
prolonged  and  all-embracing  kiss,  in  which  the  sex 
organs  are  included  as  well  as  the  lips.  They  kiss 
each  other,  as  the  lips  kiss  each  other.  It  is 
"courting,"  par  excellence,  without  the  hampering 
of  clothes  or  conventionality  of  any  kind. 

In  this  act,  the  lovers  simply  drift,  petting  each 
other,  chatting  with  each  other,  visiting,  loving, 
caressing  in  any  one  or  all  of  a  thousand  ways. 
The  hands  "wander  idly  over  the  body",  the 
husband's  right  hand  being  specially  free  and  in 
perfect  position  to  stroke  his  wife's  back,  her  hips, 
her  legs,  and  pet  her  from  top  to  toe. 

As  this  part  of  the  act  continues,  it  is  the  most 
natural  thing  in  the  world  that  the  sex  organs 
should  tumesce,  and  that  there  should  be  a  flow 
of  both  prostatic  and  pre-coital  fluids.  That  is, 
the  organs  quietly  and  naturally  make  themselves 
ready  for  meeting.  And  when  they  are  duly 
tumescent,  are  properly  enlarged  and  lubricated, 
let  the  wife  come  over  into  her  lover's  arms,  in 
the  second  position  described,  and  the  organs 


134  Sane  Sex  Life 

be  slipped  together  easily,  delightfully,  and  then, 
let  them  stay  so,  fully  together,  but  do  not  go  on  with 
the  third  part  of  the  act,  the  motion  of  the  organs. 
Just  lie  still  and  enjoy  the  embrace,  kiss,  chat, 
court,  love,  dream,  enjoy! 

This  union  can  be  protracted  to  almost  any 
length,  after  the  lovers  learn  how  to  do  it.  Some- 
times the  organs  may  be  together  only  a  few 
minutes,  sometimes  for  an  hour,  or  even  longer. 
If  the  parties  get  tired,  or  sleepy,  part  the  organs, 
kiss  good-night,  and  go  to  sleep.  Although  it  is 
not  at  all  uncommon  for  such  lovers,  who  have 
fully  learned  this  art,  to  go  to  sleep  thus,  in  each 
other's  arms,  their  sex  organs  united;  and,  in  this 
position,  have  the  organs  detumesce,  the  penis 
grow  limp  and  slip  out  of  the  vagina  of  its  own 
accord,  while  the  vagina  also  grows  small  and  the 
clitoris  subsides.  This  experience  is  most  delight- 
ful, and  if  once  experienced,  once  well  mastered 
by  the  husband  and  wife,  it  will  continually  grow 
in  favor,  to  their  mutual  benefit. 

This  method  is  of  special  service  during  the 
"unfree  time."  If  rightly  used,  it  will  not  tend 
to  increase  the  desire  for  "spending,"  but  it  will, 
on  the  contrary,  allay  and  satisfy  the  sexual  de- 
sires, most  perfectly.  If,  while  learning  how, 
sometimes  the  inexperienced  should  "get  run 
away  with,"  and  feel  that  it  is  better  to  go  on 
and  have  the  climax,  all  right.  But,  as  time  goes 
on,  the  practice  of  carrying  the  act  only  to  the  end 
of  the  second  part,  will  grow,  and  in  due  time  be 


Sane  Sex  Living  135 

well  established.  Those  who  have  mastered  this 
wholesome  and  loving  art  will  sometimes  meet  in 
this  way  a  score  of  times  during  a  month  or  so, 
without  once  coming  to  the  climax.  Such  meet- 
ing can  be  as  often  as  the  parties  choose,  and  of  as 
long,  or  as  short  duration  as  they  elect.  It  is  often 
an  excellent  way  to  say  "good-night;"  and  if,  on 
waking  in  the  morning,  there  is  time  before  rising 
for  a  "little  court,"  this  slipping  the  organs  to- 
gether, for  "just  a  minute,"  is  a  most  excellent 
way  to  begin  the  day.  The  art  is  worth  learning, 
and  most  people  can  learn  it,  if  they  try,  and  are 
of  the  right  spirit! 

To  go  back  a  little:  In  speaking  of  mutual 
masturbation  on  the  part  of  the  husband  and 
wife,  this  method  of  satisfying  the  sex  nature  is 
of  great  value,  sometimes,  especially  for  use  during 
the  unfree  time.  If,  during  these  two  weeks,  the 
parties  get  "waked  up,"  and  feel  the  need  of  sex 
exercise,  they  can  satisfy  each  other  with  their 
hands  in  a  way  that  will  be  a  great  relief  to  each. 
This  is  specially  true  for  the  husband;  and  a  wife, 
who  is  enough  of  a  woman  to  thus  meet  her  hus- 
band's sex-needs,  with  her  hand,  when  it  is  not 
expedient  for  him  to  meet  her  otherwise,  is  a  wife 
to  worship ! 

Somtimes,  during  the  five  days  of  menstrua- 
tion, during  which  time  the  union  of  the  organs  is 
deemed  not  best,  the  wife  can  thus  help  her  lover 
with  her  hand,  to  his  delight  and  benefit.  Let 
love  direct  the  way  here,  and  all  will  be  well. 


136  Sane  Sex  Life 

And  here  is  a  curious  fact:  The  hand  of  the 
opposite  sex  will  produce  effects  on  the  genitals 
of  the  other  which  will  not  be  produced  in  any 
other  way.  Thus,  a  man  may  hold  his  penis  in 
his  own  hand  for  a  given  length  of  time,  longer  or 
shorter,  and  no  result  be  effected,  no  secretion  of 
prostate  fluid  be  made,  at  all.  But  let  his  wife 
take  his  penis  in  her  hand  for  the  same  length  of 
time,  and  the  flow  of  prostatic  fluid  will  at  once 
take  place.  This  is  true  whether  the  penis  be 
erect  or  detumescent.  If  the  wife  will  hold  her 
husband's  limp  penis  in  her  hand  for  but  a  few 
minutes,  even  though  the  organ  remains  limp,  the 
flow  of  prostatic  fluid  will  take  place!  The  same 
is  true  with  regard  to  the  husband's  putting  his 
hand  on  his  wife's  vulva.  Should  she  hold  her 
hand  there,  no  pre-coital  fluid  would  be  secreted. 
With  her  husband's  hand  there,  the  flow  would  at 
once  begin. 

This  is  a  remarkable  physical  and  psychological 
phenomenon,  and  it  is  one  specially  worthy  of  note. 
It  is  this  fact  that  makes  mutual  masturbation  far 
superior  to  auto-erotism.  A  husband  can  thus 
satisfy  a  wife  with  his  fingers,  or  a  wife  her  husband 
with  her  hand,  far  better  than  either  could  bring 
himself  or  herself  to  the  climax  alone.  This  point 
is  of  great  import,  in  considering  many  of  the  sex 
acts  of  husband  and  wife. 

As  a  rule,  let  the  husband  and  wife  do  whatever 
their  desire  prompts  or  suggests,  and  just  as  they  feel 
they  would  like  to.     Only  this,  let  all  be  in  modera- 


Sane  Sex  Living  137 

tion.     Carry  nothing  to  excess! 

Which  suggests  the  question  often  asked:  How 
frequently  may  coitus  be  engaged  in?  The  answer 
is,  just  as  often  as  is  desired  by  both  parties,  but 
never  to  the  point  of  weariness  or  depletion  of  the 
physical,  mental  or  spiritual  body.  Use  good  sense 
here  as  elsewhere.  We  eat  when  we  are  hungry, 
but  it  is  wrong  to  gorge  oneself  with  food.  The 
same  rule  holds  with  regard  to  sex  exercise.  Satis- 
fy the  calls  of  nature,  but  never  overdo  the  matter. 
be  temperate,  manly,  womanly  !  Don't  be  afraid 
or  ashamed  to  do  what  your  desire  and  your  best 
judgment  say  is  right.  Use  common  sense,  and  you 
will  not  go  wrong. 

And  don't  wear  each  other  out,  either  both 
together,  or  the  one  the  other.  Many  men  in- 
sist on  their  rights  (they  have  no  rights)  and 
greatly  debilitate  themselves  by  excess  of  coition 
with  their  wives.  Per  contra,  there  are  some 
women  who  wear  the  lives  out  of  their  husbands  by 
the  excessive  calls  they  make  upon  them  for  sex- 
gratification  .A  In  the  latter  case,  a  man  will  "go 
to  pieces  "  mjich  faster  than  a  woman  who  is  over- 
taxed. To  satisfy  such  a  woman,  a  man  must 
spend  at  least  once  every  time  his  wife  calls  on 
him.  This  draws  on  his  vital  fluids,  at  every  em- 
brace; but,  as  has  been  stated,  there  is  no  escape 
of  vital  fluid  from  the  woman,  when  she  spends, 
and  so  she  can  reach  and  pass  the  orgasm,  time  f 
and  again,  and  still  not  have  her  vitality  taxed. 
Indeed,  in  some  cases,  the  oftener  a  woman  spends, 


138  Sane  Sex  Life 

the  more  animated,  robust  and  healthful  she  be- 
comes. In  case  unmatched  people  meet  as  hus- 
band and  wife,  they  should  do  their  best  to  adjust 
themselves  to  each  other's  conditions,  keeping 
always  in  mind  the  best  welfare,  each  of  the  other. 

There  are  records  of  women  who  delight  to 
spend  a  dozen  times  in  a  single  night.  One  queen 
made  a  law  that  every  man  should  cohabit  with 
his  wife  at  least  seven  times  each  night!  Of 
course,  she  was  an  abnormal  woman,  though  the 
author  once  knew  a  good  orthodox  deacon  who 
would  have  been  delighted  to  live  under  the  rule 
of  such  a  law,  for  seven  times  a  night  was  the 
limit  his  wife  imposed  upon  him!  He  was  also 
abnormal. 

Luther  said  twice  a  week  was  the  rule  for 
coitus,  and  this  is  a  very  common  practice.  No 
absolute  rule  can  be  given,  however,  except  for 
each  couple  to  act  as  they  feel,  keeping  always 
within  the  bounds  of  common  sense  and  true 
temperance. 

There  are  some  men  and  women  so  constituted, 
nervously,  or  by  temperament,  that  they  are 
obliged  to  rigorously  limit  their  acts  of  coition. 
Some  men  cannot  engage  in  the  act  more  than 
once  or  twice  a  month  and  maintain  their  health. 
For  them,  the  act  draws  on  their  vitality  so  severe- 
ly that  it  quite  upsets  them,  in  almost  every  case. 
During  the  act,  they  are  subject  to  nervous  shocks, 
they  "see  stars,"  and  undergo  rigors  and  nervous 
sweats   which   are   severely   debilitating.     Often, 


Sane  Sex  Living  139 

too,  they  will  lie  awake  all  night  after  engaging  in 
the  act,  and  be  more  or  less  of  a  wreck  for  a  day 
or  two  afterwards. 

Some  women,  too,  are  of  a  similar  nature  of 
organization,  and  undergo  similar  experiences. 
Of  course,  in  all  such  cases,  unusual  care  should 
be  taken  never  to  reach  the  point  of  excess. 

It  is  unfortunate  if  people  are  married  who 
are  ill-matched  in  this  regard,  especially  so  if  the 
difference  between  the  two  is  of  a  pronounced 
nature,  as  when  the  husband  or  the  wife  is  very 
amorous  and  virile,  while  his  or  her  mate  is  unable 
to  engage  in  the  act,  to  any  considerable  extent, 
without  suffering  therefrom.  If  such  case  arises, 
the  best  should  be  made  of  the  situation,  the  more 
robust  party  accommodating  himself  or  herself  to 
the  incompetency  or  inability  of  the  other,  and  the 
weaker  one  doing  all  that  can  rightly  be  done  to 
strengthen  and  develop  his  or  her  infirmity.  If 
this  is  done,  the  chances  are  many  to  one  that,  as 
time  goes  on,  the  parties  will  grow  more  and  more 
alike — the  strong  becoming  more  docile  and  the 
weaker  one  more  robust.  Take  time,  love  each  other, 
court  and  be  courted,  and  only  the  best  results  will 
come  of  it  all. 

Now  there  are  some  women  who  are  called 
"anesthetic,"  that  is,  they  have  no  sex-passion, 
though  the  sex  parts  may  be  normal.  Many 
physicians  declare  that  as  high  as  forty  per  cent 
of  the  women  who  are  reared  in  modern  social  life 
are  thus  lacking.     These  women  engage  in  coitus, 


140  Sane  Sex  Life 

though  they  get  no  pleasure  from  the  act.  They 
never  reach  the  orgasm,  and  have  no  sensations 
of  delight  from  the  act;  they  seldom  secrete  the 
pre-coital  fluid,  and  hence  the  union  of  the  organs, 
or  their  motion,  are  never  easy  or  pleasurable. 
They  can  become  mothers,  and  often  such  bear 
many  children.  Such  condition  is  greatly  to  be 
regretted,  and  many  women  suffer  greatly  from 
this  cause. 

It  is  highly  probable,  though,  that  many  women 
who  are  counted  as  thus  lacking  are  not,  really,  so! 
Many  women  will  begin  married  life  wholly  anes- 
thetic, and,  often,  sometime  will  become  normal 
in  this  regard.  This  often  happens!  The  proba- 
bility is  that  many  wives  are  not  properly  "courted" 
by  their  husbnads — the  first  part  of  the  act 
is  neglected,  or  the  husband  merely  acts  on  his 
rights — cohabits  like  a  goat,  all  in  an  instant, 
anxious  only  to  gratify  his  own  lust;  and  that, 
under  such  treatment,  the  wife  never  gets  a  fair 
chance  to  really  know  her  own  powers.  Such  cases 
are  sad  beyond  telling.  For  the  most  part,  they 
are  the  result  of  ignorance  on  the  part  of  tiw  husband, 
and  innocence  and  wrong  teaching — wrong  menial 
attitude — on  the  part  of  the  wife,     hence  the  need 

OF    INSTRUCTIONS   TO    BOTH. 

But  if  almost  any  woman  will  get  the  right 
mental  attitude  toward  sex-meeting,  and  then  can 
be  courted,  as  has  been  prescribed  in  these  pa 
the  cases  are  rare  indeed  where  a  woman  can  be 
found  who  is  really  anesthetic.     If  you,  wife,  or 


Sane  Sex  Living  141 

you,  husband,  are  "up  against"  such  a  condition, 
try  "courting,"  as  herewith  laid  down,  in  a  proper 
mood  and  spirit,  and  you  will  come  out  all  right. 
There  is  no  doubt  of  it. 

On  the  contrary,  if  the  man  is  "impotent" 
there  is  small  hope  of  his  ever  coming  out  of  such 
condition,  and  the  chances  are  many  to  one  that 
he  will  never  be  able  to  satisfy  his  wife  sexually. 
He  may  be  a  "good  man,"  in  a  way,  but  he  can 
never  be  a  good  husband,  in  the  full  meaning  of 
that  word. 

On  the  other  hand,  if  a  woman  marries  for 
money,  or  a  home,  or  position,  or  place,  or  power, 
or  a  "meal-ticket" — for  anything  but  love,  she  will 
doubtless  be  anesthetic  and  stay  so.  She  deserves 
to!  She  sells  herself  for  a  mess  of  pottage,  who- 
ever she  is.  She  may  be  a  "good  woman,"  but 
she  can  never  be  a  good  wife. 

The  question  is  sometimes  asked  as  to  how 
late  in  life  the  sex  organs  can  function  pleasurably 
and  wholesomely  for  the  parties  concerned.  And 
here,  as  elsewhere,  the  reply  can  only  be  that  it 
all  depends  on  the  individual.  But  this  is  true, 
that,  as  a  rule,  the  status  of  the  individual  during 
the  years  of  active  life  will  persist,  even  to  old  age, 
if  the  sex-functions  are  used  and  not  abused. 
There  is  no  function  of  the  body,  however,  which 
will  "go  to  pieces"  quicker,  and  ever  after  be  a 
wreck,  as  will  the  sex  organs,  if  they  are  not  treated 
rightly. 


142  Sane  Sex  Life 

And  this  works  both  ways:  If  too  rigorously 
held  in  check,  if  denied  all  functioning  whatever, 
the  farts  will  a'ophy,  to  the  detriment  of  the  whole 
nature,  physical,  mental,  and  spiritual.  The  body 
will  become  "  dried  up, "  the  sex  organs  shriveled, 
and  a  corresponding  shrinking  of  the  whole  man 
or  woman,  in  all  parts  of  the  being,  is  very  apt  to 
follow. 

On  the  other  hand,  an  excess  of  sex-functioning 
will  soon  deprive  the  individual  of  all  such  power 
whatsoever.  A  man  will,  in  his  comparatively 
early  life,  lose  the  power  of  erection,  or  tumescence 
entirely,  as  a  result  of  excess,  either  by  masturba- 
tion or  from  too  frequent  coitus;  and  on  the  part 
of  the  woman,  many  unfortunate  conditions  are 
liable  to  arise.  However,  for  reasons  that  have 
already  been  stated,  a  woman  who  is  strongly 
sexed,  and  of  a  pronounced  amorous  nature,  can 
maintain  even  great  excess  of  sex  exercise  without 
suffering  such  ill  results  as  would  befall  a  man 
who  should  so  indulge.  That  is,  an  excessively 
passionate  wife  can  far  sooner  wear  the  life  out  of 
a  husband  who  is  only  moderately  amorous,  than 
can  an  abnormally  passionate  husband  wear  out  a 
moderately  amorous  wife. 

But  if  the  sex  nature  of  the  husband  and  wife 
are  well  cared  for  during  the  years  of  active  life, 
neither  too  much  restrained  or  too  profusely  exer- 
cised, the  functioning  power  of  the  sex  organs  will 
remain,  even  to  old  age,  with  all  their  pleasure- 
giving  powers  and  sensations  intact.    This  is  a 


Sane  Sex  Living  143 

wonderful  physiological  fact,  which  leads  to  a 
conclusion,  as  follows: — 

This  fact  of  the  staying  qualities  of  the  power 
of  sex  functioning,  even  to  old  age,  is  the  supreme 
proof  of  the  fact  that  sex,  in  the  human  family, 
serves  a  purpose  other  than  reproduction! 

For,  see!  A  woman  loses  the  power  to  con- 
ceive when  she  reaches  the  "turn  of  life,"  when 
her  menses  cease,  that  is,  when  she  is  between 
forty  and  fifty  years  of  age.  And  if  pleasure  in 
coition  serves  only  to  induce  her  to  engage  in  the 
act  for  the  purpose  of  increasing  the  probability 
of  her  becoming  pregnant,  if  this  is  the  sole  purpose 
of  desire  for  sex  intercourse,  such  desire,  such 
pleasure,  ought  to  cease  at  that  period  of  feminine 
life.  But  this  is  by  no  means  the  case!  If  a  wife 
is*  a  normal  women,  sexually,  and  has  neither 
abused  her  sex  nature  or  had  it  abused,  or  neg- 
lected, and  is  a  well  woman,  she  will  enjoy  coitus 
as  much  after  she  has  passed  her  three  score  and 
ten  date  in  her  life  as  she  did  before!  She  may 
not  care  to  engage  in  the  act  as  frequently  as  in 
her  younger  days;  but  if  she  is  well  courted  by 
her  old  lover,  all  the  joys  of  the  former  days  are 
still  hers,  to  as  great  a  degree  as  ever.  And  what 
is  true  of  her  is  true  of  her  husband,  if  he  is  well 
preserved,  as  she  is,  has  never  abused  himself  or 
been  abused. 

This  is  a  reward  of  virtue,  for  old  lovers,  that 
pays  a  big  premium  on  righteous  sex-action  in 
earlier  years!    More  than  all,  it  is  a  proof,  beyond 


144  Sane  Sex  Life 

all  question ,Chat  the  purpose  of  sex  in  humanity  is 
something  more  than  procreation,  that  there  is  such 
a  thing  as  the  Art  of  Love,  and  that  it  ought  to  be 
taught  and  well  learned  by  every  husband  and  wife, 
in  their  early  married  life. 


CLEANLINESS 

IT  would  hardly  seem  necessary  to  be  said,  and 
yet  many  experiences  of  husbands  and  wives 
prove  that  it  needs  to  be  said,  that  both  parties 
should  take  great  pains  to  keep  their  bodies,  all 
parts  of  them,  always  sweet  and  clean.  Strange 
as  it  may  seem,  many  wives  are  exceedingly  care- 
less in  this  respect!  It  is  a  matter  of  common 
report  among  men,  that  harlots  take  more  pains 
to  make  and  keep  their  bodies,  and  especially 
their  genitals,clean  and  attractive, than  many  wives 
flo!  Surely,  this  ought  not  to  be  so,  and  yet  it 
often  is. 

And  that  it  is,  is  only  one  more  unfortunate 
result  that  springs  from  the  feeling  of  "Oh,  we 
are  married  now. "  The  wife  or  the  husband  feels 
that  there  is  no  longer  any  need  of  wooing  each 
other.  All  of  which  leads  to  woe,  woe,  woe !  The 
wife  should  keep  her  whole  body  so  sweet  and 
clean  that  her  husband  can  kiss  her  from  top  to 
toe,  if  he  wants  to — and  the  chances  are  that  he 
will  want  to,  if  she  so  keeps  herself !  If  he  should, 
in  a  whirl  of  passion,  want  to  smack  her  vulva 
with  his  lips  he  ought  to  find  that  part  so  pure 
and  clean  that  it  would  be  a  delight  to  kiss  it 

145 


146  Sane  Sex  Life 

(and  this  is  not  infrequently  done  by  an  ardent 
lover,  to  the  mutual  delight  of  both  husband  and 
wife).  But  such  act  will  never  be  tried  a  second 
time  if  the  parts  are  not  absolutely  clean.  In 
the  one  case,  such  a  caress  is  a  bit  of  heaven  to  a 
husband,  in  the  other  it  is  a  bit  of  hell!  It  will 
disgust  where  it  ought  to  delight.  And  when  a 
wife  disgusts  her  husband,  the  end  of  a  happy 
married  life  has  come! 

The  wife  should  always  wash  her  vulva  with 
soap  and  warm  water  before  retiring,  and  if 
reservatus  is  to  be  engaged  in  in  the  morning, 
after  urination,  she  should  thoroughly  cleanse  the 
parts  before  union  takes  place.  Let  her  be  ever 
mindful  to  keep  her  "love  cup"  worthy  to  meet 
its  lover. 

And  the  husband  should  be  equally  careful  to 
keep  his  body  sweet  and  clean.  He  should  wash 
the  glans  penis  thoroughly,  with  soap  and  water, 
at  least  once  every  day,  drawing  the  foreskin  back 
so  as  to  fully  cleanse  the  indenture  above  the 
gland,  which  secretes  a  substance  that  very  soon 
emits  an  offensive  odor  unless  removed.  Both 
parties  should  keep  their  arm  pits  so  that  they  will 
not  be  "smelly,"  and  the  feet  should  likewise  be 
kept  inordorous. 

One  of  the  chief  objections  to  smoking  or 
chewing  tobacco  is  that  it  spoils  the  breath,  and 
so  makes  it  offensive  to  the  wife,  whereas  it  should 
be  most  attractive.  In  a  word,  both  the  husband 
and  wife  cannot  be  too  careful,  in  all  ways,  in 


Sane  Sex  Living  147 

making  and  keeping  their  bodies  mutually  attrac- 
tive. As  has  already  been  said,  the  sole  aim  of 
all  the  sexual  experience  of  a  husband  and  wife 
should  be  to  raise  the  function  more  and  more 
away  from  the  plane  of  physical  gratification  and 
elevate  it  continually  towards  the  realm  of  mental 
and  spiritual  delight.  This  is  a  mission  of  sex  in 
the  human  family  that  should  be  made  the  most 
of.  It  involves  the  cultivation  of  the  Art  of  Love, 
which  is  truly  the  art  of  arts,  par  excellence. 

The  secret  of  success  in  establishing  righteous 
and  happy  sex  relations  between  husband  and 
wife  is,  on  the  part  of  the  man,  that  all  his  actions 
should  be  those  of  a  loving  gentleman.  This  does 
not  mean  effeminacy  on  his  part — he  must  be 
virile,  %old,  strong,  aggressive,  positive,  com- 
pelling. And  yet,  all  these  manly  virtues  must  be 
expressed  in  terms  of  loving  and  gentle  acts.  This 
is  a  paradox,  but  it  is  true! 

On  the  part  of  the  woman,  the  chief  item  on 
her  side  is,  for  her  to  attain  a  correct  mental  and 
spiritual  attitude  toward  her  own  sex-nature  and 
that  of  her  husband,  and  toward  their  common 
expression.  All  her  training  and  environment 
now  hinder  her  from  such  achievement;  but  if  she 
be  a  true  woman,  her  nature  will  reveal  the  truth 
to  her,  and  if  she  will  trust  to  that — do  what  that 
prompts  her  to  do,  she  will  come  out  all  right. 
It  will  take  time  to  reach  such  results;  but  if  she 
will  persist,  she  will  succeed.  Let  her  come  to  the 
realization  of  the  fact  that  sex  in  men  and  women 


148  Sane  Sex  Life 

is  not  unclean,  vulgar,  lowdown,  sinful;  but  that 
it  is  clean,  pure,  lofty,  god-born.  Rightly  exer- 
cised, it  leads  to  the  highest  well-being  of  both 
the  husband  and  wife  it  brings  them  to  their 
physical,  mental  and  spiritual  noblest  and  best. 
Let  the  wife  get  this  view  of  the  situation,  which 
is  the  only  true  view,  and  then  let  her  act  accord- 
ingly, and  she  will  have  attained.  A  husband  and 
wife  who  have  reached  this  modus  vivendi  have 
established  a  heaven  on  earth. 


XI 

PREGNANCY 

AND  now  just  a  few  words  about  having  child- 
ren, and  this  treatise  will  end. 

As  has  already  been  said,  every  true  husband 
and  wife  who  are  well  enough  and  strong  enough, 
and  who  are  reasonably  furnished  with  this  world's 
goods,  ought  to  have  and  rear  at  least  two  child- 
ren. The  world  needs  at  least  so  many,  even  if 
all  children  lived  and  grew  up,  to  keep  up  the  con- 
stant number  of  people  on  the  earth.  But,  far 
more  than  this,  the  husband  and  wife  need  child- 
ren to  make  a  home  complete,  and  a  complete  home 
is  the  supreme  attainment  of  human  life! 

This  does  not  mean  that  people  should  not 
marry  unless  they  can  have  children;  there  are 
many  women  who  should  never  even  try  to  be- 
come mothers.  But  these  should  not  be  deprived 
of  all  sexual  joys  for  this  reason.  On  the  con- 
trary, it  is  for  their  best  good,  in  most  cases,  that 
they  should  marry  and  so  live  normal  sex  lives, 
in  all  respects  except  parenthood. 

But,  for  the  most  part,  husbands  and  wives 
can  have  children,  if  they  so  desire,  and  they 
should  so  desire. 

149 


150  Sane  Sex  Life 

And,  so  desiring,  the  question  is,  How  can  they 
best  fulfill  such  desire? 

As  a  matter  of  fact,  there  is  very  little  that  is 
really  known  about  the  begetting  of  children,  and 
the  securing  of  the  best  results  from  such  action. 
The  laws  of  human  heredity  are,  as  yet,  for  the 
most  part,  unknown.  But  common  sense  would 
seem  to  indicate  a  few  things  that  must  be  best 
in  the  premises. 

Thus,  it  would  seem  to  be  for  the  best  that 
the  husband  and  wife  should  be  in  good  physical 
condition  when  a  child  is  begotten.  More  than 
this,  it  would  seem  right  that  the  act  of  begetting 
should  be  a  deliberate,  and  not  a  mere  chance 
begetting.  Hence,  in  general,  it  is  well  for  the 
husband  and  wife  to  agree  upon  a  time  for  the 
begetting  of  a  child,  and  deliberately  accomplish  a 
sex-meeting  for  such  purpose.  Although,  one  in- 
stinctively feels  that  such  a  deliberate  meeting 
might  be  too  matter  of  fact — too  cold  and  formal, 
lacking  in  warm  blood  and  genuine  emotion;  still, 
the  probabilities  are  that  even  this  could  be  over- 
come, if  kept  in  mind  and  "provided  for." 

Referring  to  the  things  that  have  already  been 
said,  of  course  an  embrace  which  is  to  result  in 
pregnancy  should  be  one  of  the  most  perfect  that 
can  possibly  be  experienced,  one  in  which,  in  an 
ecstacy  of  love's  delight,  husband  and  wife  merge 
their  souls  and  bodies  into  a  perfect  oneness — it 
would  seem  that  from  such  a  meeting  the  best, 
and  only  the  best  results  could  come. 


Sane  Sex  Living  151 

And  so,  if  the  husband  and  wife  will  agree  that, 
from  a  given  time  on,  they  will  cease  to  have  a 
care  to  prevent  conception;  and  then,  sometime 
immediately  following  the  fifth  day  after  the  be- 
ginning of  the  menstrual  How,  they  will  naturally 
meet  in  a  perfect  embrace,  the  probabilities  are 
that  they  will  have  done  the  best  possible  to  secure 
the  highest  attainable  results  from  the  act  of 
begetting  a  child. 

As  a  rule,  the  proper  time  for  such  begetting 
is  between  the  fifth  and  the  tenth  day  after  the 
beginning  of  the  menstrual  flow.  It  is  sometimes 
best,  however,  to  make  the  meeting  earlier  than 
this,  even  before  the  flow  has  ceased.  Some 
women  will  conceive  then  who  cannot  do  so  at  any 
other  time.  And  so,  if  a  wife  should  be  unable 
to  conceive  between  the  fifth  and  the  tenth  day, 
as  noted,  let  an  earlier  date  be  tried.  If  this 
should  fail,  consult  a  reliable  physician. 

It  ought  to  be  said,  too,  that  putting  off  having 
children  too  long,  is  very  apt  to  result  in  the  steril- 
ity of  the  wife.  Many  a  young  wife,  who  has 
really  wanted  to  have  children  sometime,  and  who 
would  be  greatly  grieved  if  she  thought  she  could 
not  bear  a  child,  has  kept  putting  it  off,  and  has 
done  this  so  often,  and  for  so  long,  that,  when  the 
"convenient  day"  does,  come,  she  finds  that  she 
has  "sinned  away  her  day  of  grace." 

Speaking  generally,  the  first  baby  should  be 
born  not  much  later  than  two  years  after  marriage. 


152  Sane  Sex  Life 

There  are,  of  course,  exceptions  to  this,  but  it  is  a 
good  rule  to  go  by. 

Hare  your  children  when  you  are  young!  This 
is  common  sense,  it  comes  out  best  in  the  long  run, 
and  is  the  best  thing  to  do,  ninety-nine  times  in  a 
hundred.  Then,  you  are  nearer  the  age  of  your 
children  as  they  grow  up  than  if  you  waited  till 
you  were  in  the  late  thirties  before  the  children 
came.  If  your  son  or  daughter  is  only  twenty- 
some  years  younger  than  you  are,  you  can  be 
"kids"  with  them.  If  you  are  forty  years  old 
when  they  are  born,  you  will  always  be  "old 
folks"  to  them.  Have  the  babies  when  you  are 
young.     It  is  far  better  so. 

If  no  children  come  from  the  meeting  of  hus- 
band and  wife  consult  a  good  doctor.  But,  in 
such  event,  if  neither  of  the  parties  is  to  blame — 
or  even  otherwise,  make  the  best  of  the  situation, 
love  each  other,  and  make  the  most  of  wedded 
life  with  what  is  left. 

Above  all,  with  children  or  without  (and  a 
thousand  times  better  with)  make  a  home  that  is 
a  home.  That  is  what  sex  in  the  human  family, 
what  married  life  is  for — to  make  a  home.  Nearly 
all  that  makes  a  home  is  centered  around  sex. 
No  two  normal  men  can  make  a  home!  No  two 
normal  women  can  make  a  home!  It  takes  a  man 
and  a  woman  to  make  a  home.  It  takes  father, 
mother  and  children  to  make  the  most  perfect  home. 
Make  up  your  minds  to  have  a  most  perfect  homey 
and  do  your  utmost  to  reach  that  goal! 


Sane  Sex  Living  153 

The  query  often  arises  in  the  minds  of  con- 
scientious husbands  and  wives  whether  or  not  it  is 
right  to  engage  in  coitus  during  pregnancy. 
On  this  point  authorities  differ,  though  most  of 
them  hold  against  such  practice.  The  reasons 
they  give  for  such  adverse  decision  are  all  based 
on  the  same  old  infernal  lie,  namely,  that,  sexually, 
man  is  a  mere  animal,  and  so  is  subject  to  the  laws 
and  practices  of  mere  animality.  This  is  the 
worst  outrage  ever  perfected  by  a  false  philosophy, 
which  is  heralded  as  the  will  of  God.  Out  on  it, 
altogether! 

The  simple  truth,  is  that,  if  the  husband  and 
wife  have  mastered  the  Art  of  Love,  so  that  they 
mutually  desire  each  other,  and  both  long  for  sex 
exercise  during  the  gestation  period,  it  is  perfectly 
right  and  wise  for  them  to  satisfy  their  natural 
common  wishes. 

Of  course,  in  such  exercise,  the  utmost  care 
should  be  taken  not  to  press  too  hard  upon  the 
pelvic  region  of  the  woman,  and  in  this  regard, 
the  word  of  caution  needs  to  be  heeded,  as  much 
by  the  prospective  mother  as  by  her  mate.  For, 
in  the  intensity  of  an  orgasm,  she  may  be  tempted 
to  crowd  her  body  too  violently  against  her  hus- 
band, and  so  possible  harm  might  result.  Especi- 
ally if  the  husband  superior  position  is  taken  during 
the  act,  he  should  be  doubly  careful  not  to  permit 
the  weight  of  his  body  to  rest  upon  the  enlarged 
part  of  the  wife's  anatomy,  not  in  the  least. 

Indeed,  the  safest  position  for  coitus,  during 


154  Sane  Sex  Life 

pregnancy  is,  the  woman  on  her  back,  and  the  man 
with  his  hips  on  the  bed  below  hers,  so  that  there 
is  no  possibility  of  pressure  on  her  abdomen,  which 
is  perfectly  free,  in  this  position.  In  this  position, 
the  act  may  be  engaged  in,  during  pregnancy,  as 
often  as  mutually  desired,  to  the  benefit  of  both 
parties. 

Many  pregnant  women  are  more  than  usually 
passionate  during  the  period  of  gestation.  This  is 
especially  the  case  when  the  wife  is  happy  in  her 
condition,  when  she  rejoices  with  exceeding  great 
joy  that  she  is  on  the  way  to  experience  the  divine 
crown  of  wifehood — maternity!  When  such  a 
woman  desires  her  husband  in  love's  embrace, 
it  is  cruel  to  deprive  her  of  her  longed-for  delight. 

Again,  a  wife,  unpregnant,  and  when  she  right- 
fully wishes  to  remain  so,  may  be  somewhat  fear- 
ful of  becoming  pregnant  when  she  meets  her 
husband,  and  so  hesitate  to  give  her  passion  full 
play,  thereby  missing  the  utmost  delights  of  an 
embrace, — but  if  she  be  pregnant,  and  so  has  no 
fear  on  this  score,  she  can  give  herself  up  to  utter 
abandonment  to  her  impulses. 

On  this  point,  the  final  word  is,  use  common 
sense,  in  a  spirit  of  absolute  mutuality. 

It  goes  without  saying  that  it  would  be  wicked, 
not  to  say  a  crime,  for  a  husband  to  compel  his 
wife  to  engage  in  coitus  during  pregnancy,  against 
her  will.  On  the  other  hand,  many  a  wife  has 
first  experienced  an  orgasm  when  meeting  her 
husband  during  pregnancy.     The  reason  for  this  is 


Sane  Sex  Living  155 

that  her  fear  of  becoming  pregnant  is  not  then 
present — a  condition  which  has  before  kept  her 
from  the  climax. 

It  is  further  true  that  many  a  wife  will  greatly 
relieve  and  delight  her  husband  if,  on  occasion, 
and  as  both  may  desire,  she  will  relieve  him  with 
her  hand;  or  sometimes,  that  they  engage  in  mutual 
relief  by  this  means  during  pregnancy. 


XII 

CONCLUSION 

TX  closing  this  volume,  the  author  wishes  to 
-*-  say,  as  in  opening,  that  no  apology  is  offered  for 
what  has  been  written  or  said  herewith.  All  has 
been  set  down  in  love,  by  a  lover,  for  the  sake  of 
lovers  yet  to  be,  in  the  hope  of  helping  them  on 
towards  a  divine  consummation. 

As  a  final  direction  Master  the  Art  of  Love, 
which  is  the  divinest  art  in  all  the  world;  then,  study, 
and  do  your  best  to  master  the  Science  of  Procreation. 
It  is  these  two,  the  Art  of  Love  and  the  Science  of 
Procreation,  that,  together,  make  married  life  a 
success.  Witliout  these,  or,  surely,  without  the 
first,  there  can  be  no  such  tiling  as  true  marriage. 
Hence,  this  is  the  first  to  learn,  to  master.  It  is 
worthy  of  the  most  careful  study,  the  most  faith- 
ful experiment. 

It  is  right  for  people  who  never  can  have 
children  to  marry,  and  to  share  with  each  oilier 
mutual  sex  delights.  It  is  far  better  for  a  husband 
and  wife,  having  learned  the  Art  of  Love,  to  have 
children — and  a  home. 

Thrice  happy  are  the  married  lovers  who  live 
in  the  spirit  of  this  sentiment,  exalted  to  the 
highest  spiritual  plane;  and  if,  out  of  such    love- 

156 


Sane  Sex  Living  157 

exchanges  children  are  begotten  and  born,  and  a 
perfect  home  is  established,  then  married  life  is 
worth  living.  God  has  joined  sucii  together  and 
nothing  can  put  them  asunder. 


This  volume  is  not  something  to  be  read  once, 
and  then  put  aside  and  forgotten.  It  should  be 
studied,  experimented  upon,  read  again  and  again, 
especially  by  those  who  have  difficulties  in  married 
life  to  overcome.  And  for  all  young  married 
people,  it  should  be  a  sort  of  Guide  to  Happiness 
that  should  be  frequently  consulted  and  its  direc- 
tions "tried  out"  and  followed  to  the  limit. 

The  fact  is  that,  in  true  marriage,  neither  the 
husband  nor  the  wife  can  be  selfishly  supreme. 
If  selfishness  asserts  itself,  on  the  part  of  either 
husband  or  wife,  hell  is  sure  to  follow.  There  can 
be  no  true  marriage  under  such  circumstances, 
because  there  is  no  supremacy  in  true  love,  and  it 
is  only  true  love  that  can  make  an  abiding  true 
marriage.  In  true  marriage,  such  as  both  God 
and  Nature  design  should  be,  there  is  perfect 
comradery,  equals  walking  with  equals,  with  the 
principle  of  love  and  mutual  helpfulness  shared 
alike  by  both.  Let  no  reader  of  this  book  forget 
these  primal  facts,  or  fail  to  act  in  accordance  with 
them!     For  of  such  is  the  Kingdom  of  Heaven! 


BY    W.    F.    ROB  IE.    M.  D. 


Sold  only  to  members  of  the  recognized  professions 

RATIONAL  SEX  ETHICS 

From  an  investigation  of  the  sex  lives  of  several  hundred 
normal,  right-thinking  men  and  women,  the  author  reaches 
some  startling  but  sensible  conclusions.  Auto-erotism  and 
promiscuous  intercourse  are  discussed  thoroughly  in  deter- 
mining what  is  correct,  healthful,  and  ethical  sex  living. 

"In  the  present  flood  of  literature  on  sex  topics,  it  is  re- 
freshing to  find  an  author  who  writes  from  the  point  of  view 
of  the  general  practitioner  and  who  has  endeavored  to  secure 
his  material  from  normal  persons  rather  than  from  the  ab- 
normal, the  eccentric,  or  the  criminal  classes.  Dr.  Robie 
seeks  to  discuss  some  of  the  perplexing  problems  of  sex  re- 
lations in  a  commonsense  way  without  obscuring  his  meaning 
by  the  complex  terminology  and  fantastic  theories  of  many 
writers  in  this  field.  He  is  even  able  to  discuss  psychanalysis 
dispassionately  and,  without  going  to  the  extremes  of  the 
Freudian  enthusiasts,  to  recognize  the  value  of  many  of 
Freud's  theories.  The  numerous  case  histories  given  are  well 
selected  as  illustrations,  and  in  many  cases  will  be  recog- 
nized as  analagous  to  those  encountered  by  most  practicing 
physicians.  While  not  intended  to  be  either  complete  or 
final,  Dr.  Robie's  book  can  hardly  be  overlooked  by  those 
interested    in    this    subject." 

Journal  of  the  American  Medical  Association. 

"I  have  thoroughly  enjoyed  reading  Dr.  Robie's  RA- 
TIONAL SEX  ETHICS.  It  shows  original  work  and  ideas 
and  it  seems  to  me  that  SANE  SEX  LIFE  AND  SANE  SEX 
LIVING  would  be  better  understood  and  more  intelligently 
used,  after  reading  Dr.  Robie's  work."  H.  W.  Long. 

RATIONAL   SEX    ETHICS,    FURTHER 
INVESTIGATIONS 

The  volume  completes  the  considerations  begun  in  RA- 
TIONAL SEX  ETHICS.  Significant  sex  histories  and  case 
histories  are  given.  Therapeutic  suggestions  are  considered 
carefully.  The  application  of  the  conditioned  motor  reflex 
to  hysteria  is  shown.  Without  adhering  strictly  to  Freudian 
technique,  the  author  takes  up  dream  analysis.  After  con- 
sidering such  practical  topics  as  birth  control  and  sexual 
repression,  he  arrives  at  a  sane  philosphy  of  sex. 
8  vo,  uniform  binding,  $3.50  net  each 

RICHARD   G.  BADGER  PUBLISHER,  BOSTON 


RARY  FACILITY 


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